Post by Blue Suede Bruce on Jun 2, 2014 14:21:53 GMT -6
Groggy and out of breath, I’m realizing as the clock ticks away, the odds shift ever out of my favor. My very impressive advisary, Scott Knight had just hoisted me up on the top rope. If Jackie did his scouting reports right this was where the Blackguard goes for his patented Knightfall. If I let him hit this good ol’ boy with that. I might as well be ready go to bed for the night. For a brief second in time I catch Knight looking down to his Mistress Lovecraft and see my opening. In a Mississippi mud hole fashion, I keep putting my blue suede boots to his pearly whites. With my strongest kick, Knight spins around and staggers away from me. With the cheers from the crowd willing me on, I drop down to my feet and hit this warrior with a Hound Dog. Quickly scrambling I lazily hook his leg for a cover only for him to kick out at two.
No, Scott... Why can’t you, won’t you stay down? Why won’t you just succumb? I know all about impressing the ladies. But for some reason you aim to please the one that accompanied you to ringside. Well I hope for your sake, that it was worth it.
It was time to finish it. My back is killing at this point. Mr. Knight really did a number on it. Almost on par with the “Jailhouse Rock” Quickly after pulling him up to his feet, I hoist Scott up onto my shoulders to hit him with the Heartthrob. Not now, baby, not now. A shock of pain shoots up my spine and Knight felt it; he wiggles down. Last thing I remember was him smirking at me before hitting me with his Morning Star Bomb. That was two weeks ago.
“Brucie, baby. We got it! We got it!” Jackie started jumping around the modest motel room with a paper in his hand. So excited, he was jumping in circles around the floor before moon bouncing up onto the beds and jumping back and forth between them.
“What is it, Jackie?” I inquire with curious mind.
“Blue Suede Bruce is competing in the main event at Breakthrough! this week!”
Being a rookie in this business, I could help but feel honored and yet a little reluctant to take this spot. It was like the time back in Memphis when I took my first girl out to the movies. Cindy Baker, she was the prettiest little gal in all of White Station High. Every other boy in the school wanted to take her out for a Coca-Cola and a night on the town. Somehow, after smooth talking her with sweet nothings in her ear and making her laugh with a few of my patented pelvic thrusts, she said yes. Sixteen years old and I felt like a hunka hunka burnin’ love. However, with it being my first date I felt some reluctance skipping baby steps and going for the girl everyone wanted. Needless to say, we dated for four weeks before I caught her licking the lollipop of Brad Thompson behind the bleachers of the football field. I knocked ol’ Brad out with a knuckle sandwich because I was devastated, my heart was broken. I never felt so betrayed in my entire life, Well there was that time, my older brother James sold me out to the county sheriff for a plate of chicken fried pork chops. But that’s a different story for a different time and different place.
“That’s like crazy, man! I guess Mr. Frei couldn’t get enough of the charismatic good ol’ boy!!!”
My hips gyrate in furious fashion at the good news. Despite losing my debut match against Scott Knight, It was obvious that I knew how to come to this ring, kick some ass, have some fun, and send the crowd home happy with one heck of a show. Regardless of my barrel chested build, the ladies of St. Paul all wanted a piece of Blue Suede Bruce.
“Brucie, this is the primetime! It’s the main event! You’re gonna need a special entrance.”
Jackie pulls the keys to his Sedan de Ville out of his pocket and jingles them in my face.
“Jackie, you’re gonna finally let me drive the Caddy? This is the greatest day of my li...”
“No, little bro. Are you crazy? This car is my baby. The seats are seal skin, Brucie, seal skin!”
“Yes, I know already. The seal skin. It’s always about the seal skin with you. But if you aren’t letting me drive it, why are you showing me your keys?”
Jackie dusts off his jacket and looks up at me with a gleam in his eyes.
“Because, I’m gonna drive you out to that ring.”
“How? The stage is way too small.”
“Brucie, my brother. Where there’s a will there is always a way. Besides I got the entrance covered; you need to worry about your opponent. The guy actually doesn’t have any professional training. He debuted on the first show and won his match... That Vance LaRoc guy who gained a contract simply by pummeling his way through VOW security. He’s a real brawler, but I guess we gotta be when we grew up in tough neighborhoods or anywhere where ya need to defend yaself.”
Vance LaRoc... I saw his match with Mugen Mushaboom on the monitors. Long greasy yet teased locks. Fought around the ring in a torn up t-shirt and hole filled denim jeans. Vance LaRoc looked like he climbed out of a Seattle gutter in 1994. But then again I look like I rolled on out of a drive-in movie in 1957... Regardless. Vance LaRoc wasn’t a professional wrestler in any conventional sense of the term but he made his debut and not only took a fight but won it against an accomplished mixed martial artist. Vance LaRoc is no push over. It must be that never say die attitude all the ‘counter culture’ people have these days.
“So wait a sec. I’m facing Vance LaRoc, in the main event, in his hometown of Mankato, Minnesota? He won his debut match... I... not so much. Although the ladies had a good time in the crowd... But needless to say. It’s like they’re feeding me to the
Minnesota’s chosen son. What better than to set up the most charismatic guy in all of VOW in the main event against the hometown hero...”
Jackie starts shaking his head at me
“That’s what you’re not understanding, my brother... Vance LaRoc, maybe going in this match as the guy who knows this city, this state better than anybody else. However, if you listen to the crowd. They can’t stand him, his whining about pop culture, his incessant complaining. They can’t stand his hypocritical need to judge people for being who they are. Brucie, he’s been around proudly proclaiming that it’s always about the art and not the self image. When he goes around and judges others for the same exact thing. I’ll bet you two buckets of KFC that he’s gonna rip apart your pompadour, your side burns... The blue suede wrestling boots. He’s gonna make judge your image instead of your art. Just watch it, Brucie. It’s gonna happen."
“I guess you may have stumbled onto something with that right there, Jackie. But how am I supposed to tackle a guy like Vance LaRoc?”
We share a quiet stare and an all-knowing look. Hastily, I run to my trunk, slide off my jeans and pull on some basketball shorts. On a hot humid day like today in Mankato. I think the wife beater tank clothing my upper torso is the way to go. Jackie grabs his whistle and we sprint out of the motel room and find a spread out field.
“Alright! Blue Suede Bruce! This is the moment you’ve been waiting for!!! Your first main event match! You’ve worked your backside off hard to get to this point. We’ve trained to wrestle on blood stained mats in facilities without air conditioning in the hottest summer Tupelo, Mississippi had to offer. You went down from an obese Elvis Presley impersonator, to a still chubby, yet more muscular barrel chested, rough and tough professional wrestler. I have over here in this bag that I placed here this morning, 25 dodgeballs.”
"Whoa-ah... Dodgeballs? What the...”
My words stop as the first of a long series of dodgeballs nails me in the face, knocking my slobber all over the place.
“The hell, man? Does momma even know you’re doing this?”
“Brucie. You’re my little brother, I love ya. But this isn’t two brother’s hanging out right now. This is a manager helping his client train. And we’ve seen it. LaRoc is a brawler. He’s got clubbing fists that are gonna destroy anything in their path... I need you to consider your defensive strategy. A strategy of evading your opponent’s blows.”
Jackie picks up another ball and hurls it towards me. I lean over and watch it whizz by. I start to chuckle and turn to look back at my brother right before another dodgeball nails me right in the face.
“Dammit, Jackie! So help me if you mess up my lip, girls love it when I quiver it.”
“Just shut up and train!”
Jackie starts rocketing more balls at me at and I dodge them left and right. I find my rhythm and dodge them via those signature pelvic gyrations.
“Mommy! What’s that man doing?” A little kid shouts out from a pool area I previously did not notice.
“Billy, cover your eyes!” The woman in a modest one piece swimsuit starts marching straight up to me.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Throwing your loins about with children around? You should be ashamed. I’m going to the office and telling the manager.”
She was furious... Fire in her eyes. I loved it when a woman had fire in her eyes. Her wet brunette hair was smooth and flattened to her cranium. Actually she was beautiful.. I wonder...
“I reckon I should apologize, ma’am. Name is Bruce. This here is my brother, Jackie. We meant no offense by our physical activities out here. You see I am a professional wrestler, and...”
“Oh yeah. I’ve seen your face on a flier in town at a grocery store. You’re the Elvis dude...”
She started to giggle a little bit. I give a nod to Jackie and he grins pulling a couple promotional tickets out of his jacket.
“We’d love to see you come down to the show. Maybe root for me in my match?”
She smiles but subtly shakes her head.
“That is a very kind offer, but I don’t allow wrestling in my home. I’ve seen way too many things on television. TEW and NEW, no sane parent would let their kids watch that senseless violence.”
“I understand. There are some unsavory elements to my business. But even so.. I was wondering if maybe. Just maybe I could take you out to dinner. We could turn up the rock’n’roll, have couple burgers, share a chocolate malt, and get to know one another.”
“You’re very flattering, Mr. Bruce. However. I’m married. I do appreciate the offer though.” She smiled, and ran after her son. When she was far enough away. Jackie fell back laughing.
“You got hosed, man!”
“What? How was I supposed to know she was married?”
“Brucie, when you have a keen eye like mine. You would have noticed the tan line on her ring finger where a wedding band would be. My own brother going after married women. You’re a ballsy as hell... Ballsy as hell.”
“She was cute can ya blame me?”
“She was cute can ya blame me?” Jackie mocks me. "Get changed, tonight we’re rolling into town in that aqua Cadillac. "
No, Scott... Why can’t you, won’t you stay down? Why won’t you just succumb? I know all about impressing the ladies. But for some reason you aim to please the one that accompanied you to ringside. Well I hope for your sake, that it was worth it.
It was time to finish it. My back is killing at this point. Mr. Knight really did a number on it. Almost on par with the “Jailhouse Rock” Quickly after pulling him up to his feet, I hoist Scott up onto my shoulders to hit him with the Heartthrob. Not now, baby, not now. A shock of pain shoots up my spine and Knight felt it; he wiggles down. Last thing I remember was him smirking at me before hitting me with his Morning Star Bomb. That was two weeks ago.
“Brucie, baby. We got it! We got it!” Jackie started jumping around the modest motel room with a paper in his hand. So excited, he was jumping in circles around the floor before moon bouncing up onto the beds and jumping back and forth between them.
“What is it, Jackie?” I inquire with curious mind.
“Blue Suede Bruce is competing in the main event at Breakthrough! this week!”
Being a rookie in this business, I could help but feel honored and yet a little reluctant to take this spot. It was like the time back in Memphis when I took my first girl out to the movies. Cindy Baker, she was the prettiest little gal in all of White Station High. Every other boy in the school wanted to take her out for a Coca-Cola and a night on the town. Somehow, after smooth talking her with sweet nothings in her ear and making her laugh with a few of my patented pelvic thrusts, she said yes. Sixteen years old and I felt like a hunka hunka burnin’ love. However, with it being my first date I felt some reluctance skipping baby steps and going for the girl everyone wanted. Needless to say, we dated for four weeks before I caught her licking the lollipop of Brad Thompson behind the bleachers of the football field. I knocked ol’ Brad out with a knuckle sandwich because I was devastated, my heart was broken. I never felt so betrayed in my entire life, Well there was that time, my older brother James sold me out to the county sheriff for a plate of chicken fried pork chops. But that’s a different story for a different time and different place.
“That’s like crazy, man! I guess Mr. Frei couldn’t get enough of the charismatic good ol’ boy!!!”
My hips gyrate in furious fashion at the good news. Despite losing my debut match against Scott Knight, It was obvious that I knew how to come to this ring, kick some ass, have some fun, and send the crowd home happy with one heck of a show. Regardless of my barrel chested build, the ladies of St. Paul all wanted a piece of Blue Suede Bruce.
“Brucie, this is the primetime! It’s the main event! You’re gonna need a special entrance.”
Jackie pulls the keys to his Sedan de Ville out of his pocket and jingles them in my face.
“Jackie, you’re gonna finally let me drive the Caddy? This is the greatest day of my li...”
“No, little bro. Are you crazy? This car is my baby. The seats are seal skin, Brucie, seal skin!”
“Yes, I know already. The seal skin. It’s always about the seal skin with you. But if you aren’t letting me drive it, why are you showing me your keys?”
Jackie dusts off his jacket and looks up at me with a gleam in his eyes.
“Because, I’m gonna drive you out to that ring.”
“How? The stage is way too small.”
“Brucie, my brother. Where there’s a will there is always a way. Besides I got the entrance covered; you need to worry about your opponent. The guy actually doesn’t have any professional training. He debuted on the first show and won his match... That Vance LaRoc guy who gained a contract simply by pummeling his way through VOW security. He’s a real brawler, but I guess we gotta be when we grew up in tough neighborhoods or anywhere where ya need to defend yaself.”
Vance LaRoc... I saw his match with Mugen Mushaboom on the monitors. Long greasy yet teased locks. Fought around the ring in a torn up t-shirt and hole filled denim jeans. Vance LaRoc looked like he climbed out of a Seattle gutter in 1994. But then again I look like I rolled on out of a drive-in movie in 1957... Regardless. Vance LaRoc wasn’t a professional wrestler in any conventional sense of the term but he made his debut and not only took a fight but won it against an accomplished mixed martial artist. Vance LaRoc is no push over. It must be that never say die attitude all the ‘counter culture’ people have these days.
“So wait a sec. I’m facing Vance LaRoc, in the main event, in his hometown of Mankato, Minnesota? He won his debut match... I... not so much. Although the ladies had a good time in the crowd... But needless to say. It’s like they’re feeding me to the
Minnesota’s chosen son. What better than to set up the most charismatic guy in all of VOW in the main event against the hometown hero...”
Jackie starts shaking his head at me
“That’s what you’re not understanding, my brother... Vance LaRoc, maybe going in this match as the guy who knows this city, this state better than anybody else. However, if you listen to the crowd. They can’t stand him, his whining about pop culture, his incessant complaining. They can’t stand his hypocritical need to judge people for being who they are. Brucie, he’s been around proudly proclaiming that it’s always about the art and not the self image. When he goes around and judges others for the same exact thing. I’ll bet you two buckets of KFC that he’s gonna rip apart your pompadour, your side burns... The blue suede wrestling boots. He’s gonna make judge your image instead of your art. Just watch it, Brucie. It’s gonna happen."
“I guess you may have stumbled onto something with that right there, Jackie. But how am I supposed to tackle a guy like Vance LaRoc?”
We share a quiet stare and an all-knowing look. Hastily, I run to my trunk, slide off my jeans and pull on some basketball shorts. On a hot humid day like today in Mankato. I think the wife beater tank clothing my upper torso is the way to go. Jackie grabs his whistle and we sprint out of the motel room and find a spread out field.
“Alright! Blue Suede Bruce! This is the moment you’ve been waiting for!!! Your first main event match! You’ve worked your backside off hard to get to this point. We’ve trained to wrestle on blood stained mats in facilities without air conditioning in the hottest summer Tupelo, Mississippi had to offer. You went down from an obese Elvis Presley impersonator, to a still chubby, yet more muscular barrel chested, rough and tough professional wrestler. I have over here in this bag that I placed here this morning, 25 dodgeballs.”
"Whoa-ah... Dodgeballs? What the...”
My words stop as the first of a long series of dodgeballs nails me in the face, knocking my slobber all over the place.
“The hell, man? Does momma even know you’re doing this?”
“Brucie. You’re my little brother, I love ya. But this isn’t two brother’s hanging out right now. This is a manager helping his client train. And we’ve seen it. LaRoc is a brawler. He’s got clubbing fists that are gonna destroy anything in their path... I need you to consider your defensive strategy. A strategy of evading your opponent’s blows.”
Jackie picks up another ball and hurls it towards me. I lean over and watch it whizz by. I start to chuckle and turn to look back at my brother right before another dodgeball nails me right in the face.
“Dammit, Jackie! So help me if you mess up my lip, girls love it when I quiver it.”
“Just shut up and train!”
Jackie starts rocketing more balls at me at and I dodge them left and right. I find my rhythm and dodge them via those signature pelvic gyrations.
“Mommy! What’s that man doing?” A little kid shouts out from a pool area I previously did not notice.
“Billy, cover your eyes!” The woman in a modest one piece swimsuit starts marching straight up to me.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Throwing your loins about with children around? You should be ashamed. I’m going to the office and telling the manager.”
She was furious... Fire in her eyes. I loved it when a woman had fire in her eyes. Her wet brunette hair was smooth and flattened to her cranium. Actually she was beautiful.. I wonder...
“I reckon I should apologize, ma’am. Name is Bruce. This here is my brother, Jackie. We meant no offense by our physical activities out here. You see I am a professional wrestler, and...”
“Oh yeah. I’ve seen your face on a flier in town at a grocery store. You’re the Elvis dude...”
She started to giggle a little bit. I give a nod to Jackie and he grins pulling a couple promotional tickets out of his jacket.
“We’d love to see you come down to the show. Maybe root for me in my match?”
She smiles but subtly shakes her head.
“That is a very kind offer, but I don’t allow wrestling in my home. I’ve seen way too many things on television. TEW and NEW, no sane parent would let their kids watch that senseless violence.”
“I understand. There are some unsavory elements to my business. But even so.. I was wondering if maybe. Just maybe I could take you out to dinner. We could turn up the rock’n’roll, have couple burgers, share a chocolate malt, and get to know one another.”
“You’re very flattering, Mr. Bruce. However. I’m married. I do appreciate the offer though.” She smiled, and ran after her son. When she was far enough away. Jackie fell back laughing.
“You got hosed, man!”
“What? How was I supposed to know she was married?”
“Brucie, when you have a keen eye like mine. You would have noticed the tan line on her ring finger where a wedding band would be. My own brother going after married women. You’re a ballsy as hell... Ballsy as hell.”
“She was cute can ya blame me?”
“She was cute can ya blame me?” Jackie mocks me. "Get changed, tonight we’re rolling into town in that aqua Cadillac. "
