Post by Deleted on Mar 21, 2016 11:54:00 GMT -6
Being with Elena Marie, honestly it’s like she’s my own daughter, the amount of time I’ve spent with her since she was born. Maybe deep down, I want to spend so much time with her because I’m using it as a defence mechanism to help me deal with the pain of not being able to spend time with my own children, I don’t know.
Of course the main reason why I want to spend so much time with her is because I love her to bits. She’s my goddaughter, but I feel like she’s more than that to me, because of how much her parents mean to me, she feels like she’s more than just my goddaughter because she means that much to me.
I would die for this little bundle of joy, this sweet, precious, beautiful little princess who I love and adore with all of my heart. The fact that part of my name is also hers means everything to me, and it means that I will never ever forget her, I’ll never stop loving her, and I will never ever leave her.
I’m here yet again in the hospital, hopefully it won’t be too long before the little one in my arms is able to go home and live her life outside of a hospital. Dressed in a pair of white sneakers, a pair of plain black skin tight leggings, a plain black sports top and a black woollen hat, I look down at the tiny little face of my goddaughter.
Tyler’s back at the hotel picking up some things whilst Zel’s asleep in her bed, my poor bestie is still worn out after her whole ordeal at the mall. But it was all worth it in the end and she knows it, because no matter how tired she may be, whenever she lays eyes on her little one, her face beams with joy. It’s a beautiful sight, normally I think Zelda is beautiful anyway and she is, but this is a different kind of beautiful.
Pacing back and forth in the room, cradling Elena, she begins to stir and slowly opens her eyes and looks straight up at me. I stare deeply into her big beautiful blue eyes and smile brightly as she also flashes a smile of her own, just basic mouth movements really.
“Hello there little one...yes, it’s your Aunt Stacy. Your Daddy’s gone to pick some things up and your Mommy’s sleeping...yes, she’s a very tired Mommy...but she’ll be strong enough soon to play with you properly, I promise...”
I lean towards her and softly kiss her on the forehead as she wriggles slightly, grunting so I lightly shush her, cradling her some more just in case she starts crying and disturbs Zel.
“Just like I promise that I will always love you with all of my heart...I will never ever leave you, little one. You may not be a part of me biologically, but you are part of my heart. You have part of my name you know...yes, you do...and the other part of your name is your Aunt Katie’s...who loves you just as much as I do...”
Chuckling, a single tear rolls down my cheek, a tear of pure joy. Looking down at this sweet little precious girl fills me with so much love.
“I want you to know that as you get older, you’re going to have to deal with things in life that may upset you...or terrify you...or anger you. But I also want you to know that you’ll be strong enough to deal with those things...and if you need any help with anything, you have loads of people around you who love you so much, so don’t hesitate to come to us. You have the best parents a little girl could ever ask for...and you have Aunt Stacy and Aunt Katie too, and don’t you ever forget that, okay...we will all protect you until the day we die, I promise...”
I once again give her another kiss on the forehead and almost snuggle into her like I never ever want to let her go.
"St-Stacy..."
My eyes shoot over a bit as I see Zelda leaned up on the bed, no longer in the slumber I thought she was deeply in. I almost break down as I see her eyes swelling and tears falling down her face, a little sniffling coming from her as well along with her bottom lip quivering.
"That...was beautiful...absolutely beautiful."
I walk over to her, smiling as I sit down on the chair beside her, looking deep into her eyes.
“Y-you were listening? T-to every word?”
Zelda nods and smiles.
"Every word, I heard Elena grunt and I guess I've gotten used to waking up immediately when I hear it. I couldn't help but listen...Stacy, I can't tell you how much I want to just break down right now."
Standing up, I turn towards the small little hospital cot and carefully place Elena inside it before turning back and sitting down again. I take hold of Zel’s hand and softly stroke it as I smile again.
“Hey, hey, hey...there’s no need for that...you can’t be stressing yourself out with a breakdown, you’re still in need of a lot of rest. I meant every word of what I said to Elena, you’ve got nothing to worry about...everything’s going to be fine.”
"I-I just...Stacy I'm still so scared of doing something wrong, not being good enough if the world turns really mean on my Elena. I d-don't want to lose my baby to the cruel world."
Zelda pushes to hold back a real breakdown but a lot of deep sniffling and tears overcome her regardless.
“Zel, listen to me...okay...listen...”
She turns to me, her face full of worry as I move closer to her so I’m now sitting on the edge of the bed. I softly stroke her cheek with my right hand, whilst holding her hand with my other.
“I felt the same way you did when Nick was born...and even moreso when Chelsea was born because she was a big miracle considering the circumstances. I suffered three miscarriages before Chels was born, and her birth did such a number on me that I can never have kids anymore. But that’s beside the point...the point is, Elena has plenty of people around her who love her and who will protect her with all of their power. You, Ty, Katie and I...we would all die protecting her...”
I give her a reassuring smile, I hate seeing my best friend in this state, but I know exactly what she’s going through.
“Everything is going to be okay...I promise...”
Zelda nods slowly as she leans against Stacy.
"I can't lose this chance Stacy...I really can't...you don't know this and really no one does, not even Tyler other than a couple of instances...but..."
She finally breaks as she sobs uncontrollably.
"Elena w-w-was not suppos-s-sed to be-e-e born."
I quickly wrap my arms around her, clutching her tightly, as I rub her to comfort her as much as possible. What did she mean by that last comment? What doesn’t anyone know? Including Tyler of all people?
“W-what do you mean, honey? Do you wanna talk about it?”
Zelda pushes to calm down, taking in deep breaths so she can get the words out.
"I...have a disorder called APS, antiphospholipid syndrome. It...creates a high level of antiphospholipid antibodies in my body and makes it very likely I will have miscarriages. Tyler and I found this out the first time I ever found out I was pregnant, and the next to last time before Elena it was still obvious my chances were bad. What he doesn't know...those chances were high because I had a total of five miscarriages. Each one hit me harder than the next, and it took a lot of strength for me to hide the three I did from Tyler because I saw how devastated he was the first time."
More tears rush from Zelda's face as she keeps breathing heavily.
"Elena was supposed to be a two percent chance of making it through the first trimester."
“Oh God, Zel...I had no idea!”
I squeeze her even tighter as tears begin to fall down my cheeks.
"Wh-when the doctors saw how much she was developing, they were shocked as Hell, and were even more shocked after I went through that trauma from...Scarlet."
Zelda pulls me off of her and stares deep into my eyes, shaking as she cries out.
"I truly believe...you protecting me that night...was the only reason I have my Elena."
My heart is breaking right now, to think that I could be the only reason why Elena is even here, of course it makes me feel great that I saved her life. But at the same time, it’s a scary thought.
“W-well...I-I guess I...uhh...I-I honestly don’t know what I can say to that, Zel...”
Zelda's tear drop onto her bed as she just looks at me, not really sobbing anymore. Her lip quivers a bit as she closes her eyes, then I feel her hands move to the back of my head as she leans me closer to her before shocking me by placing her lips onto mine and kissing me. Feeling our lips moving against one another's, I feel I need to stop her but the shock of the moment just has me frozen. She, however, opens her eyes and quickly jolts away from my face, moving her hands now over her mouth not believing what she has done.
"No, no, no I did it again. Stacy I...I'm sorry I...please don't take that the wrong way, I just...I couldn't say just thank you. I can't just say that little phrase to someone who is more to me than a friend...you won over my heart that day by saving my most precious dream that if I had to go through a sixth miscarriage would have made me nearly give up on this world, and that is really when a lot of my thoughts about you started...the ones with Katie started shortly after because of how comforting she was to me."
Zelda tilts her head down in utter shame, shaking in guilt as she lowers her voice to a whisper.
"I don't want to steal you away from Katie because I want both of you, not as much as I want Tyler but you two and especially you have a level on my heart literally touching Tyler's level. I truly love you and...I'm sorry I am a stupid jackass for doing that."
Well that was unexpected, and amazingly nice as I find myself licking her taste from my lips. I lift her head back up with my finger and I lock lips with her myself, even getting a little bit of tongue in there because I’m feeling cheeky. Pulling away, I smile at her as she seems just as shocked as I was earlier when she kissed me.
“Guess you owe Katie three kisses now...”
She blurts out a small chuckle, that’s what I wanted to see and hear from her.
“Listen Zel...the real reason why I was beginning to feel uncomfortable when we were messing around at the mall, it wasn’t because Katie wasn’t there. It was because I, myself, was beginning to feel like I wanted to go further with you...I honestly wanted to just drag you into the dressing room and do everything to you...”
Her eyes widen as I say this, looking even more shocked than before.
“So I wanted it to stop because as much as I would love to do those things with you, I at least want the first time to involve Katie as well. Maybe down the line, we’ll both get comfortable enough to do stuff with you on our own, maybe that won’t happen...I don’t know. But now I understand why you feel the way you feel about me...and honestly, if Ty wasn’t in your life and Katie wasn’t in mine...I’d want to be with you...”
A small smile comes across Zel's face as she hugs onto me tightly and holds my head against hers.
"To be honest, I'd say the same thing. Maybe down the line...it would be nice to share a personal moment...with you. I do want Katie to be a part of our first experience though, because I've dreamt it no other way. I just...don't want her or you to feel like I'm making this about myself. I enjoy the deep thoughts in my mind...but I'd want to die if I was ever responsible for hurting the love between you and Katie. I love you both deeply, I want to share more than just fantasies with you two...I want to share deep stories, rough thoughts, heartbreak, happiness, joy, you two are girls I want as a true connected part of my life, and that's a big meaning behind Elena being named as she is. She is not just mine and Tyler's, she IS your daughter too, and I say that with the fullest trust in you and Katie."
Elena is my daughter too? Oh my God, that makes me feel so amazing inside.
“And I’d love to share as much as I possibly can with you, and I know Katie does too. We will always be here for you, no matter what...and if something ever happened between Katie and I where we were no longer together, it would never be because of something you did. Katie and I have discussed this with each other, we are totally okay with you having an intimate involvement in our lives because we both trust each other and love each other enough to allow you into that part of our lives. Just like how Ty is completely fine with us being involved in your life intimately as well...”
Zelda blushes bright red as she kinda pulls on me enough to where I'm now laying next to her in the small little hospital bed.
"Do...you mind laying here with me for now...we can just talk or rest or whatever until little Elena needs someone...I just want to enjoy this if that's okay."
Zelda softly kisses me on my cheek and looks at me rather shyly, making sure she isn't crossing boundaries.
“Of course, Zel...”
I wrap my arms around her and snuggle in, resting my head on top of hers as I kiss the top of her head, stroking her hair.
“I’m so proud of you, Zel...you’re going to be a great Mom...I just know it...”
Still holding onto me, Zelda blushes again and nudges her head more against my lips, I can tell she really likes the feeling.
"It's still a little scary...but having you say that makes me feel a lot better because you already are an amazing Mommy...it's why I know you are going to get Nick and Chelsea back soon. And me and Tyler want to really help...he told me about why you ran out the other day. I literally wanted to find a way to get to you and hug you then..."
As much as it slightly irks me of Tyler not keeping that private, I honestly am happy it was to Zelda and that was her reaction.
"I know you are hurting like Hell inside with not having them, and it's a big reason I want to make sure you know you really are considered a Mommy to Elena, I'm hoping maybe it helps it and maybe someone sees that and gives you more of a chance to get them back. You are an amazing Mom Stacy, and to be honest your words of advice are gonna get me through a lot helping me raise her. If I didn't have you helping me, I honestly don't know if my mothering abilities would be good enough."
Zelda begins to tear up a little again as she just pulls onto me trying to maybe use me as a way to convince herself not to burst again.
“Zel...being a Mom isn’t an easy job...and yeah, there are books and stuff to help people out. But honestly, being a Mom is just something that comes naturally to you...I was shit scared when I first had Nick because I was so young at the time. Even without me with you to help, you’d still be a great Mom because like I said, it just comes naturally to you. The only way you wouldn’t be a great Mom, would be if you were one of these careless, evil witches who have no problem popping kids out but can’t be bothered to take care of them. You’re not one of those women, Zel...Hell, if you were I’d want nothing to do with you, but you’re not that at all. You’re kind, caring, loving...and you want to have your little one in your life, you want to be there for her and take care of her...”
"Stacy..."
She wipes away her tears with her shoulder and looks at me with a glow in her eyes.
"You...you really think I'm going to be okay?"
“No Zel...I KNOW you’re going to be okay...”
Immediately, Zelda's smile returns to her and without much warning again she places another kiss on my lips, this time seeming less shy about it. As she moves off the kiss, she lays her head on my chest and closes her eyes, still smiling brightly.
"Why am I so lucky to have all these loving people in my life? To think of what kind of life I came from...the mistakes I made throughout it all. Yet somehow, I'm blessed with the most amazing people around me I could ever want...a real tight-knit family. It's more than I really could ever ask for or deserve, especially a friend like you who is so much more to me than just that."
“Like I’ve said so many times before Zel, you do deserve it. We all make mistakes in life, and if you learn from them and grow as a person, you deserve to get the best out of life. No matter what some other people may say, if you’re a good person and learn from your mistakes, you deserve the love and support you have.”
"So...I am worth being your best friend and more?"
“More than worthy...”
"Thank you...really, thank you Stacy. By the way, be honest with me...you are still scared about Winter, aren't you?"
Am I that easy to read? Of course I am, maybe not as much as I have been in the past, but yeah, she does scare me still.
“A little, yes...but...I can deal with her, trust me. This isn’t the first time I’ve had someone try and break me down both physically and mentally...I’ll get through this, whether she likes it or not...”
Zelda's smile grows as she giggles heavily, her eyes still closed. Honestly a bit odd hearing her laugh after I said that.
“Are you okay, Zel?”
Zelda opens her eyes and looks at me.
"I felt your heart...a heart can sometimes tell you things if it's open to a person enough. Stacy...you are gonna beat her...like that is me telling you. You are GOING to BEAT her."
Smiling, I once again kiss her on the forehead, I must admit, considering the weird kind of shit that’s happened to me in the past regarding Winter, when Zel laughed like that I was beginning to think I was being sucked into her realm again.
“I’m fighting for a lot of people...after everything she has done to you, to Katie, she’ll get what’s coming to her at Nothing Else Matters. And you know what, I’m going to dedicate my victory over her to Elena...”
There's that glimmer in her eyes again, that just makes me smile every time I see it. Zelda presses her face against mine until she hears a little grunt, looking over to the cot next to her bed and seeing little Elena wiggling around.
"Aww it's okay baby, Mommy is right here."
Zelda lets go of me and leans over grabbing Elena, cradling her as she brings her over her chest. She begins to cry a little bit, Zelda trying to shush her as she begins rocking her next to me in the bed.
“Hello cutie pie...are you getting jealous of Mommy and Aunt Stacy giving each other more attention than you?”
"Aww princess, you don't have to be jealous. Mommy loves you the most of everyone in the whole universe, and Aunt Stacy loves you so so much too."
Elena still is slightly crying so I place my hand on her belly and rub it a little, surprisingly enough, she actually stops crying and opens up her eyes, glancing over at Zel and I.
"There's my pretty girl, hello beautiful angel."
“She’s the spitting image of you, Zel...your, no...our biggest little miracle...”
"And I couldn’t be any happier to have this little cutie in my life. She is the greatest gift I've ever been given."
Elena keeps looking at Zel and I while now moving around her little hands, until her little right hand lands on my index finger which she begins to grip onto. Zel looks over to me with a bright smile as she sees this, probably noticing the excitement in my eyes.
"Aww, Stacy..."
“Yeah...that’s my finger you’ve got there haven’t you...”
"I think she really loves you Stacy...I guess she shares her Mommy's feelings."
Zelda giggles and gives me a small kiss on the cheek, then leaning down and kissing Elena on the cheek.
"Both of you will just have to share my kisses I guess."
“Hey, I can’t compete with this little cutie...”
"Maybe not, but you do get some of the more passionate kisses, I may be an Alabama lady but I don't roll that way with my kids."
Zelda giggles hard at her little joke, enough to jiggle Elena around to where she accidentally pukes up a little of her dinner from earlier with Zel.
"Oh shit...I mean shoot, man I've gotta work on my cursing around this little butt. Stacy, is the burp rag still on the table next to you?"
“Sure...”
I lean over and grab the rag and pass it over to her.
"There we go little gal, Mommy is gonna clean you right up. I guess Elena's tummy is still getting used to the breast milk, that or Mommy's breast milk is still getting used to being in a baby's tummy. One way or another this is leading back to Mommy's boobs maybe being dumb."
Zelda looks down at her chest and huffs.
"Stupid boobs."
“I like your boobs...but then again, I like all boobs...coz I mean, you know...I am a lesbian after all...”
We chuckle amongst one another and start pulling faces at Elena as we just take in the moment, spending time with one another.
I almost don’t want this moment to end right now. I’m one of the luckiest women in the world, I have an amazing fiancee, amazing friends and now I have an amazing goddaughter. I can’t wait to watch her grow up into the beautiful, smart woman that I know she’ll become.
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I feel like I’m getting closer to finally being able to see my kids again. According to Doctor Li, I’ve been doing brilliantly in my sessions and she believes I am more than capable of having them back in my life again.
Of course, one of the things I need to sort out is some form of visitation rights and I need to sort that out with Matt. I’m slightly worried how this will go down, because Matt’s mind was warped enough already ever since he sided with English and The Orphanage, but now I’ve got to also contend with the fact that he’s got the influence of Veronica.
And that’s never good news for me.
Here I am, sitting here in the office belonging to Doctor Li, normally I’m here to take part in a therapy session with her, but this time it’s a different story. Hopefully, if Matt actually shows up to this, I’m hoping to be able to work over a schedule where I can spend time with Nick and Chelsea.
I feel pleased that Doctor Li is going to help me with this, because knowing the way Matt is and knowing that he’s with Veronica. He’ll probably try to make sure that I have minimal contact with them, because it’s quite clear that she’s got him wrapped around her little finger.
Glancing up at the clock, I start to get a little nervous as I flash a small smile towards Doctor Li when suddenly I hear a knock at the door before it opens. Entering the room is Matt, dressed in a suit...probably trying to look smart to win extra points or something considering he very rarely wears a suit.
“Sorry I’m late, Doctor Li...had some other business to take care of...”
Walking over, he takes a seat beside me and flashes me a quick glance and nods.
“Stacy...”
Just listening to him makes me sick, putting on this kind façade to try and swerve things over in his favour. God, it makes me so fucking angry!
"Mr. Robinson, no worries about your lateness, I am just happy you both are here and ready to get down to business. So as you both know, we are here today to discuss some plans between you two about allowing Stacy to maybe have some visitation rights to Nick and Chelsea once again."
I go to speak, but suddenly, Matt cuts me off before I’m able too.
“Yes, certainly...I have discussed this with my partner, Veronica and we both agreed that at this moment in time, we would prefer it if she had supervised visitation rights every other weekend...”
Supervised? Every other weekend? What the Hell? So two days every two fucking weeks? How the fuck is that fair?
“Considering the safety of my children with Stacy being mentally unstable, I feel that is the fairest plans to make for this at this current stage.”
I want to fucking scream at him right now! Mentally unstable? Also, what fucking right does Veronica have to be involved in this decision? They’re MY children, not HERS!
"Now Mr. Robinson, I do enjoy your suggestion and it's a good start. However I can say your ex-wife is actually progressing very nicely in our sessions together and has gotten to a point where I can actually rule her mentality as medically stable. Of course we are still working out the kinks, however your ex-wife is one of my most improved clients and I do feel she has a right to longer visitation periods and even a right to some unsupervised ones."
Doctor Li looks over her papers and nods.
"That being said, a trial run of sorts where we go with your idea could be beneficial to determining how well Stacy would be with Nick and Chelsea. But I want to hear whatever thoughts concern the both of you about all of this so please, continue on."
I open my mouth, ready to respond but once again, Matt cuts me off.
“Personally Doctor Li, I’m completely fine with this trial run...however I would prefer them to be supervised because whether Stacy has been making significant progress or not...I know how easily things can spiral downhill for her, and I honestly don’t want to risk the possibility of something happening to my children whilst they are under her care...”
Sitting there, in silence, I’m starting to feel so angry that I can barely speak. I feel like if I go to say anything at all, he’s either going to cut me off again or I’m going to end up shouting at him and ruining any chances of this being successful.
"Well you should be happy to know, Mr. Robinson, that your ex-wife does have a lot of good support around her to help out to make sure no bad situation happens to your children. Ms. Moicelle and the Storm family have my easy approval for any type of supervision if they are truly needed."
“Really? A stupid teenager, a man who let his first child die and a woman who doesn’t know when to keep her pants on? I don’t particularly find those people worthy of making sure my kids are safe...”
I’m going to fucking lose it any second now, I can just tell, I’m going to blow the fuck up any moment and...okay, Stacy...just breathe.
"Mr. Robinson, Katie is a grown enough woman to handle duties, Mr. Storm was in no way responsible for a death where he was in the same situation as Stacy and had no visitation rights at the time to his own son, and whatever happens in Mrs. Storm's bedroom life doesn't make her any less eligible for helping watch your children. Now I have been given authority over this whole process Mr. Robinson, so I expect co-operation from you just as I have gotten it from Ms. Jones, this isn't about either of you. It is about making sure those two sweet children know who BOTH of their parents are."
“And they know who their mother is...she’s the woman who walked out on all three of us when she decided that she preferred to stick her damn face between the legs of another woman. Veronica isn’t even their biological mother and she’s done a better job of looking after my kids in just a couple of months than Stacy has done their entire lives...”
“SHUT THE FUCK UP WILL YOU!!!”
I break down into tears as Matt seems a bit caught off guard with my sudden outburst as I bury my face into hands. This was his plan all along! To make me snap! To make me look like I’m not stable enough to take care of my own fucking kids!
“See...does this look like a woman who is mentally stable to look after my kids?”
“OUR...KIDS!!! THEY’RE OUR...FUCKING...KIDS! NOT JUST YOURS!!!”
My crying gets even louder now, how could he do this to me? Why did he turn into such an evil human being? I never thought he would be like this!
"Stacy, calm yourself, remember the exercises. Deep breaths, remember to exhale. And Mr. Robinson, I think it is best that you let Ms. Jones actually speak her piece on this, you are honestly acting like a pure child in this situation right now. She has a right to act this way, with you slandering her name and literally pushing her to tears. You can't tell me that isn't the emotions of a deeply caring mother."
Leaning back, he just scoffs at Doctor Li and folds his arms, not saying a word as I begin to slowly breathe and calm myself down.
“I-I want to see them at least every weekend...w-without supervision...a-and then...o-once I PROVE to you, Matt...that I am MORE than capable of taking care of them. I want to have them for a full week, then you can have them for a full week after...and we keep going from there...I think that’s fair...”
"Now that sounds like a really nice plan idea. Now how about you both interact now, talk to each other, find a common ground. This is about your kids, not you two. I don't want to hear about Veronica, I don't want to hear about Katie or the Storms, if I hear about your own personal feelings I can understand given the situation. But this all leads to Nick and Chelsea, so for them can we please act like adults?"
Wiping the tears away from my eyes, I turn to Matt and I can see the look on his face is a mixture of, I don’t give a fuck about what either of us have to say as well as a, of course I’m being ganged up on by these two women. Needless to say, I’m going to be the mature one in all of this, because it’s quite clear that Matt isn’t.
“Matt...whether you like it or not...we have two children with each other. Yes, we both realized late on in our relationship that we moved too quickly with everything and Nick and Chelsea were the result...”
Trying to keep my composure, I continue.
“But the longer I go without being able to see either of them...the more it hurts me. I nearly ended my life...and it was a stupid thing to do. I want Nick and Chelsea in my life because I love them more than anything in the world...I don’t know what I would do without them. We don’t have to like each other anymore, but like Doctor Li said...this isn’t about us...it’s about them. They deserve to have both of us in their lives...they deserve to have both of their parents there for them. I’m not trying to take them away from you forever, so please...don’t do that to me...”
I stare at him, awaiting a response but I get nothing from him as he just stares ahead blankly with his arms folded across his chest. I turn back to Doctor Li with a look of hurt in my eyes as if to say that I don’t think things are looking too good for me in reaching a compromise.
"Mr. Robinson I advise you be respectful and respond, keep in mind I'm submitting a report of this conversation as well as an audio recording of everything to Human Resources, if you don't co-operate this will end up a lot worse for you. We need to all be on equal ground here, otherwise someone is going to get hurt really emotionally. I don't want that to be you just as much as I don't want that to be Stacy, believe it or not."
“Well then, I guess in that case...I don’t exactly have a leg to stand on here...”
Matt then stands to his feet and straightens his suit jacket.
“I’ll accept Stacy’s terms for the visitation rights...but if anything happens to either of “our” kids whilst under her care...I’ll be sure to see the BOTH of you...in court. Have a nice day...”
With that, he then turns around and makes his way towards the door, leaving and as soon as he does, I just break down again crying.
"Dear dear...I guess Mr. Robinson is going to be having a meeting with the services I guess. Pure disrespect, not going to look good on him in the future."
Doctor Li writes down some notes before turning to me and laying her hand on my back.
"You did exactly what you were supposed to do Stacy, it's not your fault that man doesn't know how to be understanding."
“P-please don’t take Nick and Chelsea away from him...a-as much as he is a complete fucking asshole...I-I don’t want them to be without their father...”
"Stacy this isn't about taking them away from anyone, this is about making sure they have both of you. Sadly I do not control if that means his main custody abilities move from him to you, as from how he is acting that may very well become the case."
Doctor Li shakes her head and lifts my head up.
"Talk to me Stacy, what's going through your mind sweetheart?"
“It’s just...everything has been going so well for me lately...I told Zelda and Katie about my fantasies and they took it really well and we’ve actually made plans to explore them. Then she finally had her daughter, which I helped deliver and it was such a magical moment...and then I got my first win in a long time at work, and then I come here with high hopes that things would run smoothly...and then...all of a sudden I’m back to feeling worthless...”
"Are you really going to let him get to you that bad Stacy? Sweetie, you are nowhere near worthless. If anything, you were the only person in this room that had some worth to them from how we saw a certain individual act before he rudely left our meeting."
“You’re right, I know you are...but...his words still hurt...”
"Why did they hurt though Stacy? What made them jab so deep into you?"
“I-I...because deep down inside...I still feel like I’ve let my kids down by not being there for them...and by contemplating suicide and possibly leaving them to grow up without a mother for the rest of their lives...”
"Stacy, no one can explain why we as humans feel the way we do, and that includes when you contemplated leaving this Earth. No one will ever know the demons you went through, but you have shown how committed you are to being in their lives now that you realize it is worth living. You have given yourself hope by getting rid of fear, getting rid of negativity, getting rid of regret. You have bettered yourself because of that and to turn back to those things now will only prove Matthew right, and I know for a fact he isn't right because I've seen how far you've come."
I look into Doctor Li’s eyes and smile before nodding.
“Yeah...you’re right...as usual...”
Letting out a soft chuckle, I then wrap my arms around her in a hug.
“Thank you so much Doctor Li, once again...”
"You are very welcome. I'm proud of how strong you have been, and don't think of this little breakdown as a step back. These things happen, but you have a beautiful fiancée, two great friends, and even a little goddaughter now ready to cheer you up."
Hearing that, lights me up, just like whenever I see or hear about Elena.
“Her name is Elena Marie...they named her after both mine and Katie’s middle names. Oh and we’ve decided to get married on September 10th, we’re yet to decide on a venue yet but when we do, I’ll let you know. We figured since Katie proposed to me on my birthday that we’d go full circle and have the wedding on her birthday.”
"That sounds like an amazing idea, and the name of that little girl sounds adorable. I bet she is going to feel really special once she realizes she is named after two amazing godmothers."
“Yeah...we love her to bits...as if she were our own daughter...”
I glance up at the clock and realize that I’m supposed to be going to visit Ty, Zel and little Elena soon with Katie.
“Well Doctor Li, I better get going, I’ve got plans...and I’m sure you’ll have some more clients to see so I don’t want to get in the way of that...”
We both stand to our feet and make our way over to the door. Turning to face her, I reach into the inside pocket of my jacket and pull out a photo that has Tyler, Zelda, Katie and myself with little Elena and I hand it to her.
“I want you to have this...I wanted to find a little frame for it but I forgot...”
Doctor Li smiles as she looks at the photo.
"You have a really loving family Stacy...make sure to remember that. And thank you for this, I'm sure I'll find a frame for it."
I smile before embracing her in another hug and we then say our goodbyes before I leave her office.
Well, I guess that could have gone better when it comes to Matt’s attitude towards the whole situation. But the important thing is, I’m going to be able to see my children once again and to say I’m happy about that is one Hell of an understatement. I can’t wait to see my babies again, I can’t wait to introduce them to Katie, to Zahara, to Tyler, to Zelda and of course, to little Elena.
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Breakthrough 42 will be a night that I will never forget for a very long time. Because on said night, I finally put an end to my losing streak in VoW, by defeating Tristan Ambrose. The guy is a Hell of a talent, without a doubt, and he’s certainly got a bright future ahead of him here in VoW. And the fact he’s such a tough opponent, makes my victory over him even sweeter, and I can’t wait to continue my path on the way up and the next stop is of course Nothing Else Matters.
If things couldn’t get any better, the moment I got the call from General Manager, Sky Sangue about my First Blood match against Winter Pine being the Main Event of Nothing Else Matters, I was so excited. It’s amazing to think that me, Stacy Jones is headlining a Pay-Per-View, and the match isn’t even for the World Visionary Championship! It’s an amazing feeling.
Something tells me that even after this match with Winter, our war won’t be over...but maybe I could be wrong, who knows? One thing is for certain though, and that is that once this war with her is over...I’m going to focus everything on my ultimate goal in my professional wrestling career. Becoming the World Visionary Champion!
The camera flickers to life as I turn it on showing the inside of my house here in New York City, my face right up close to the camera lens. Pressing record on it, I place it down on the tripod before making my way over to my dark brown leather sofa and taking a seat, crossing my right leg over my left.
Dressed in a pair of black leather high heeled boots, a pair of skin tight black leather trousers, a black Five Finger Death Punch T-shirt, a black leather jacket and a black beanie hat, I grab my electronic cigarette off the table in front of me and take a few drags from it before setting it back down.
“Hello VoW faithful! It’s me...Stacy Jones...coming off my first victory here in VoW in a very long time, and I have to say I’m feeling so pumped about it. Thank you all so much for the sheer amount of continued support I get from all of you guys...you are the reason why I love doing this and I wouldn’t be where I am now without you...”
I pick up a glass of water off the table and take a drink from it before continuing.
“Not only am I pumped about my victory...but I’m also pumped about the fact that I’m going to be headlining Nothing Else Matters when I go one on one against my arch-rival, Winter Pine...in a First Blood match!”
Just saying her name makes my blood begin to bubble, I cannot wait to spill her blood all over the canvas at Nothing Else Matters.
“Throughout my seven year career in this sport we call professional wrestling...I have been through a Hell of a lot! I’ve been kidnapped multiple times...I’ve suffered miscarriages because of certain people from my past...I’ve had many matches against people who have tried and failed to break me physically as well as mentally.”
I let out an elongated sigh, taking another few puffs on my e-cig along with a drink of water.
“And I’ll admit, Winter...out of everyone I’ve fought in the past, who have tried to break me down mentally and physically...YOU...have been the one to come closest. But of course, it was easy for you wasn’t it? And it wasn’t easy for you because you are good at what you do...no...it was easy for you because I was already weak in the mind!”
Chuckling a little, I slowly stroke my tongue across the top row of my pearly white teeth.
“But now Winter? I’m no longer afraid of you! I am a lot stronger now! And I guess I should really thank you for making me stronger. But you don’t deserve to be thanked for anything! You don’t deserve anything from me! You don’t deserve my respect! You don’t deserve my sympathy for what I am about to do to you at Nothing Else Matters either!”
Stroking my hands through my long black and blue hair, I chuckle a little.
“Do you want to know what continuously plays over and over in my head, Winter? That moment at Double Jeopardy when you tried to take out Zelda whilst she was still pregnant with Elena! That moment after you defeated Katie and proceeded to beat her down before I made my return to stop you! Those moments continue to play over in my head...and I will never EVER forgive you for those things you did!”
Turning serious now, my blood is at boiling point, the rage is probably visible considering my usual pale complexion. The fire burning in my eyes as they pierce the camera lens.
“At Nothing Else Matters...when we step into that ring with only one goal in mind...to make the other bleed...it will be a Main Event that the VoW faithful will never forget! It will be a Main Event that the Visionaries watching in the back will never forget! But more importantly...it will be a Main Event that you will never forget! Because when it’s all said and done Winter, the one moment that will continue to replay over and over in your mind...will be you looking up at me from the canvas as your life force pours down your face! And the image you will be looking at...will be me...with my arm raised high above my head! And then it will dawn on you...it will dawn on you that you ended up messing...with the wrong woman!”
I stand to my feet and walk towards the camera, glaring right into it with the fire still burning.
“Winter...at Nothing Else Matters...you shall suffer my judgement! Your final penance...is coming!”
And with that, I stop the recording and then turn the camera off, causing it to cut to darkness.
Everything for me is riding on this match. I have everything to lose and everything to gain when it comes to this match. I need to end this once and for all, I need to make Winter Pine bleed! And at Nothing Else Matters, I will do exactly that!
I guaran-damn-tee it!
