Post by Deleted on Oct 19, 2015 13:46:35 GMT -6
The gentle sound of water flowing and birds singing cause me to awaken from my slumber, I look around at my surroundings and I am lying on a layer of beautiful vibrant green grass that covers the land as far as the eye can see. I stand to my feet and look down at my apparel to see that I am wearing a long crisp white dress and nothing more, my attention moves to my surroundings as I see many different flowers, all shapes and sizes, scattered all over the place. Pretty butterflies fly past me as I look around and see the birds perched on the large oak trees that also scatter this tranquil place. I walk over to the stream and the water is so clear, I can see all the way to the bottom of it as I watch different species of fish and other aquatic animals try and swim their way against the gentle current.
“Where am I?”
I turn around and notice a figure in the distance, I place my hand above my eyes to shield them from the scorching hot sun, trying to work out just who it is. As the figure gets closer, I begin to realize that it’s a male, and he appears to be dressed in what looks to be white pyjamas. Suddenly, my heart fills with happiness as I suddenly realize who this man is who is walking towards me, I begin to run as fast as I can towards him, the grass tickling my feet on the way. As soon as I reach him, I jump into his arms and wrap my arms around his neck in an embrace.
“Dad!”
He chuckles and gently rubs my back, tears of joy roll down my cheeks as I bury my face into his shoulder.
“I’ve missed you so much...”
Chuckling again, he strokes his left hand through my long black hair.
“As have I my dearest Stacy...”
Suddenly, a very disturbing thought pours into my mind, forcing me to break away from my embrace with my father. I look into his eyes with a look of concern, fear and guilt.
“Whatever is the matter my child?”
“Dad...am I...dead?”
Placing his hands onto my shoulders, he smiles, looking into my eyes and slowly shakes his head.
“No my dear, it’s not your time yet...you have only just begun your new life. You have new friends who care deeply for you, and a lovely young woman who would do absolutely anything for you. Not only that, but you are yet to accomplish your biggest dream, it will happen in due time...I guarantee it...”
“I don’t know, Dad...”
“Trust me Stacy...you need to start believing in yourself a lot more. You’re such a selfless person, always putting the needs of others before your own...and that’s a good thing, it’s what makes you, you...but you need to also think about yourself and what you want out of life. You need to believe that you can achieve anything that you set your mind too...”
I look into his sparkling blue eyes and smile.
“I’ll do my best to make you proud, Dad...”
“You’ve already made me proud sweetheart, you’ve made both your mother and I proud. But alas, I must leave you now...”
My heart sinks, seeing my father again after all these years since his passing makes me wish he didn’t have to leave me again.
“But why? You’ve only just got here...”
“I must go, because you’re about to wake up...”
He then turns around and begins to walk away, with every step he takes, he becomes more and more transparent until suddenly, there is nothing left and everything goes black for a moment. After a few moments, I begin to hear the beeping noise of a heart monitor course through my ears as my eyes begin to slowly open. At first, everything is a blur and all I can make out is the silhouette hovering over me.
“K-Katie?”
As my eyes begin to adjust and my surroundings become more clearer, I notice the person standing over me is in fact my mother.
“Hi sweetie...don’t worry...I’m here for you...”
I slowly push myself up the bed so I can sit up in an upright position, a sudden sense of dizziness overcomes me, causing me to clutch onto my head.
“Take it easy honey, your body has been through a lot recently...”
Once the dizzy spell has passed, I look around my hospital room and see dozens of flowers all over the place. Looking over into the corner, I notice Zelda sitting in the chair, fast asleep, her hands resting on her stomach, as if she was protecting the tiny life growing inside of her. Scanning the room some more, my heart begins to sink as I realize that the main person I wanted to see more than anyone, isn’t here.
“I think Zelda will want to know that you’re finally awake...”
I watch as she walks over to Zelda, placing her hands onto her shoulders, she gently shakes her.
“Zelda, wake up honey...”
Zelda jumps slightly as she slowly opens her eyes, stretching a bit to get her body feeling comfortable. As she fully wakes up, she notices me sitting up and she immediately jumps up and runs over to me, tears rolling down her face.
"Stacy, y...you're awake! Are you okay? H-how do you feel?"
“I’m a bit dizzy...but I’m feeling okay...not too keen on having all these tubes stuck in me, but hey, I guess that’s what happens when you do...”
I pause, my mind has gone completely blank on why the fuck I’m here to begin with.
“What exactly happened?”
"W-well...I mean I couldn't exactly explain what was going through your head after you ran backstage from your address to the fans at the event, but apparently you tried to kill yourself. Katie found you in your dressing room with both your wrists slit and you were bleeding out bad. Had she found you any later you probably would have died...Joey tried to moderate the situation, and I kinda had a breakdown in his office when he told me what happened. We rushed to the hospital while Katie was with you in the ambulance, and well now you are here."
My heart suddenly fills with shame and guilt, putting Zelda through all of this is bad enough on her, but getting a pregnant woman stressed can also affect the baby too. If I discovered that I was responsible for Zelda losing her baby, I’d never be able to forgive myself.
“I’m so sorry Zelda...I’m so sorry to everyone I have hurt...especially Katie...”
A single tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away before looking back over to my best friend.
“Where is she? Katie, I mean...”
"Oh right, Katie...well, to put it simply, she is in her own hospital room being evaluated at the moment."
I suddenly jolt forward, a throbbing pain suddenly rushes through my head causing me to grab my head. Both my mother and Zelda look on, slightly worried at my sudden reaction, but I wave them off.
“I’m fine...and why is she in her own hospital bed? What happened to her? I need to see her!”
"Um...so when you got here, as I said you lost a lot of blood, to the point that you were on the brink of dying. Well, they immediately scheduled you a blood transfusion, the only problem is they didn't have enough of your blood type to get you stable. That's when we found out Katie and you actually have the same blood type, so they checked her through quickly to make sure she was healthy, and she basically gave up a healthy but pretty decently sized amount of blood that is now inside you."
I’m completely speechless, my entire body is suddenly filled with a warm sensation, the sensation of what can only be described as love. But it’s also met with fear, regret and guilt, I need to see her, I need to see her now!
“I have to go and see her! Now!”
Zelda looks at me very nervously and fearful as she walks closer to me.
"I mean, I know you need to see her Stacy, but look...right now she has Tyler looking over her and she is going to be fine. The doctors need you to rest, and I just..."
Zelda stops herself, she looks very strangely at me before taking in a deep breath, a tear rolling down her face as she stares at the ground.
"If you turn left, she is about six rooms down the hallway. I'd suggest you not to go because of how you are feeling...but I'm going to let something else guide you in this situation for once."
I smile at her before I throw back the covers, I disconnect myself from the various machines, pulling the tubes out from my skin. Shuffling to the side of the bed, I place my feet down onto the cold plain floor and stand to my feet before instantly collapsing due to my legs not being strong enough.
“God fucking damn it!”
Zelda runs over to me and slowly lifts me back up, sitting me back down softly on the bed.
"See, this is what I meant by you not exactly feeling great enough to do much at the moment. You need to watch yourself Stacy."
“I’m fine...I may just need a little assistance from you and Mom to get me to see Katie. I need to see her Zel, for all we know, we could lose her...I could lose her...and it’ll be all my fault! I need to see her now, just in case the worst case scenario occurs...”
A silence fills the room as Zelda just looks over at my Mom, who at this point is filled with so much shock and fear herself about how I'm acting. Just then, I begin to break down crying, why, I don't know, but before I can even think about why, I feel myself being lifted up off the bed. I focus back my eyes and see Zelda struggling with getting me up, before seeing my Mom run over and grab onto me from the other side.
"You did everything you could for me a few weeks ago, it's time I return the favour."
Slowly and steadily, they help me towards the door and my Mom pushes down the door handle, opening the door as we all begin to make our way down the hall towards Katie’s room. Once we reach the room, Zelda raises her arm and softly knocks three times on the door and we wait for Tyler to answer.
“Please be okay Katie...I love you...”
Zelda looks at me quickly, a bit of shock on her face that quickly changes to a smile as she slowly looks back towards the door which begins to open. Tyler is standing there, confused as he notices me being held up by Zelda and my Mom.
"Hey guys...Stacy, what in the Hell are you actually doing out of bed right now? You aren't in any condition to be walking."
“You’re right Ty...I’m not...but I haven’t been in any condition to do a lot of things lately, and I’ve just found out that the woman I love just risked her life to save mine. I’m full of guilt and anger towards myself...”
I begin to choke as I continue to say these things, it almost sounds like I’m telling Tyler off for questioning me being here.
“...and I’ll be damned that if Katie only has a few minutes left on this Earth, I’m going to spend those last few minutes with her! So please...let me see her...please...”
Just as I'm saying this, I feel my right side slightly drooping. Zelda looks like she is in a bit of pain at the moment.
"Sorry guys, my sickness stuff is starting to hit me...plus my ribs aren't feeling great right now."
Tyler walks over and takes a hold of me, then looks over to Mom.
"Marie, can you please take Zelda back to Stacy's room and make sure she is okay?"
Mom looks at Zelda and nods as she walks her back down the hallway. As she does, Tyler walks me into the room, closing the door behind him, and picks me up to carry me over to the chair sitting next to Katie's bed.
"Just letting you know, I think she is going to be fine, she is just really weak right now. She gave up a shit ton of blood for you after all."
I deserved that tone from Tyler, as much as at times I’ve felt like I have had no control over the things I have done or said, I cannot complain if Tyler is annoyed with me. Quite frankly, every single one of my friends has the right to be mad at me, they all tried on multiple occasions to help me, and I refused to let them in. I just hope they can all forgive me, I don’t want this to ruin what we have together. I look down at the floor, fidgeting with my fingers.
“I’m so sorry Ty...I never wanted any of this to happen...”
Tyler just paces in front of me, rubbing the back of his head as he tries to relax himself.
"Look Stace...you don't have to apologize to me. I mean, I don't fight with the same mental demons you have went to battle with for these past couple of months, and honestly I wouldn't wish even my worst enemy to be put through the same torment you have went through. But it's time you understood how important you are to a lot of people here. It is really sad in a way when all I have to do is look at Joey and know what you did before he tells me a single damn thing, but at the same time it's a testament of how close you and I have gotten as friends. Whether I like this situation or not, you are family and damn it, I'm not gonna let family go through this shit alone."
Tyler reaches into his pocket and pulls out a picture, handing it to me. It's from the first time I hung out with Zelda and Tyler, Zelda and I are sitting next to each other so happy, Katie very shyly smiling in the background as well.
"And as far as Zelda, she sees you as her sister Stace. And not just in a metaphorical "oh, you are so close to me you are my sister" kind of way. Like she sees what you go through and sees what happened to her own sister, how she tormented herself very similarly to you and it got to the point nobody wanted her around except Zelda, and that bridge got cut because of another certain someone that graces this company now, but I don't get into that situation because it's none of my business. Zel doesn't want to lose you, I can honestly tell you that if you weren't around, Zelda might have never wanted me to stay here in VoW. She also might not be around at all because you saved her fucking life a couple of weeks ago, as well as the life of that little child in her that has been our dream for so fucking long!"
“Ty...I...”
"Hold on...before you say a thing, just look beside you."
I turn my attention towards Katie, her sweet, angelic face filled with tubes fill me with so much agony. Watching her chest slowly rise and fall, almost lifeless due to how weak she is. She risked her life to save mine, and she didn’t have to do that, she shouldn’t have had to do that. I look back down to the floor, feeling ashamed of myself before I look back up at Tyler.
"That girl right there, Katie Moicelle, is absolutely one of the most amazing individuals I have ever come across as far as how far they are willing to go for the ones they care for. Stacy, I am not sure how obvious this is to you, and how obvious it is to a lot of people, but Katie loves you more than you can ever imagine. I mean when she realized she had the same blood type as you, she was demanding the doctors to let her save you. They advised against it over and over, I mean Katie is still decently young and they aren't sure what this kind of stress on her body is going to cause, I pray to God that it isn't anything serious. But she didn't care, she broke down at the thought of "no" being an option. She would rather die for you than live on a planet without you, and if that isn't true love to the core I don't know what is. She stands by you through so much, everything with Tayla you went through, all this suffering, she could have given up. But she didn't, she fought on, because you two are polar opposites in some senses at the moment but at the core are two of the most similar people imaginable. You two may be more compatible for each other than Zelda and I, and that says a whole lot when you consider what I put Zelda through after my ex-wife and first child died together."
Tyler takes a second to breathe, then walks over to me, getting down on both knees as he lays his hands on mine.
"You think this world is going to be such a better place for everyone when you are gone, but you have three very big examples that are proof that without you, life is worse if not meaningless. We all love you Stacy, me and Zel consider you family and we want you to be there when we introduce our new life into the world, because without you that new life may be gone as well as my dear Zelda. I cried, thanking the man upstairs that you kept history from repeating itself for me. And Katie...she loves you so much Stacy, she loves you more than any person has probably ever loved you before other than both your Mom’s and Dad. She needs you...you are her rock and she is yours. It's time to embrace reality Stace, you have a world that can't live without you, even for your flaws you are perfect in our eyes and we want to help you through the pain. So...are you ready to throw open that door for us finally? Because we are knocking on it hard right now Stace, we are looking under the door crack begging you to let us in."
He’s right! He’s fucking right! I knew this all along but damn it, I needed to hear it from someone else to realize it. I grasp the arms of the chair I’m sitting in and slowly push myself up onto my feet. Tyler looks as if he’s about to help me up but I shake my head, causing him to back off, before I release my grip, now standing up straight. I wobble slightly, but quickly manage to regain my balance and turn to face him, tears rolling down my cheeks as I just lunge towards him and wrap my arms around his neck, burying my face into his chest.
“You’re right Ty...you’re absolutely fucking right...and I’m going to do exactly that! It sucks that it’s come to this for me to finally wake the fuck up and realize it, but damn it, from this day forth, I’m going to be stronger than ever! I’m going to put my past where it belongs and focus on the future...”
I break away from the embrace and look deep into his eyes.
“I’d like to have a few moments alone with Katie if that’s okay...I’ll be fine, I know I’m still a bit weak but I’ll sit back down so you’ve got nothing to worry about...”
He just stares at me for a few moments before smiling as he gives me a hug.
"Thank you...for everything you have done for my family, and for you finally realizing that the torment isn't worth holding us back anymore. I'm gonna go check on Zel, she has been puking so much since she got here, I assume from the stress. Right now though, you and Katie need your moment...she needs her true love next to her, not a good friend."
I nod and smile towards him before he turns around and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I turn my attention back to Katie, sitting down beside her and taking hold of her hand whilst softly stroking her hair with my other hand.
“Why did you do this to yourself, Katie? It was a stupid thing to do...you’re so young...you could have died...”
I know exactly why she did what she did really, and it’s all my fault, I’ll never forgive myself if she didn’t make it through this.
“I’m so sorry...for everything that I’ve put you through...all of the heartache...all of the pain and suffering. For not allowing you to help me through my problems when I should have done...I can’t tell you how sorry I am for all of that, Katie...”
Tears begin to slowly roll down my cheeks, seriously, the amount of times I’ve cried today, I’m surprised I’ve still got any form of liquid left inside my body. Still looking at her beautiful face, I stroke her cheek before moving my hand over the top of hers, so I’m cupping her hand between both of mine.
“I can’t believe it’s taken this for me to realize this, Katie...but I don’t want to lose you because...I...I love you, Katie. I love you more than life itself...I want to spend every single waking moment with you. Please, don’t leave me...I need you...”
I bury my face into her hand and kiss it before I begin to sob uncontrollably. After about what seems like a lifetime later, which in real time was about fifteen seconds, I hear a quiet...
"Don't cry. I hate it when you cry."
Lifting my head suddenly, I look towards Katie and see her looking back at me, her eyes slightly droopy due to how weak she must be still after what she went through. I wipe away my tears, smiling as I start crying again, but this time, they’re tears of joy.
“K-Katie! You’re awake!”
She weakly nods and smiles.
"I forgive you. I did the moment you said all the things you just said."
She heard me? She heard everything I said to her? I cannot even think about anything right now, I’m just so happy that she’s okay, and she finally knows how much I love her. I slowly stand to my feet, still feeling a little weak myself and I lean over the bed so I am mere inches away from her, softly stroking her cheek with my hand.
“And I meant every single word of it...I love you with all of my heart...”
Leaning forward and staring deep into her beautiful big brown eyes, I give her a long passionate kiss. I then climb onto the bed and lie down beside her, wrapping my arm around her and resting my head on her chest. I feel her heartbeat racing, at first I’m worried that she may be having some trouble breathing, but then I realize that the reason why her heart is racing is because she’s excited. And I don’t blame her because I’m the same, I’m so excited for the future that Katie and I will have together, what will happen? I don’t know yet, but I’m going to enjoy every single moment of it with the woman I love.
"I love you, too...Ms. J."
Katie returns the kiss, the hug, everything. She nuzzles the top of my head, wanting to savour this moment.
“You know...now that we’ve taken our relationship to the next level, you’re going to have to start getting used to calling me Stacy...”
We both laugh a little as I look up at her, she looking down at me, both of us gazing into one another’s eyes.
“Thank you, Katie...thank you for never giving up on me...”
Smiling, we share yet another passionate kiss with one another before I cuddle up into her and we both drift off into a deep sleep, holding one another in our arms.
