Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2016 11:16:30 GMT -6
Well that was probably one of the worst fucking nights of my life! Probably second place after the night when I found out Veronica had cheated on me. Not only did I strike Veronica at Breakthrough and threatened to end her career, but I let English down, not once but twice. I let him down because of my personal business with Veronica, and then I let him down by losing to that mannequin loving freak, Elskerinne.
Thankfully though, I’ve been given the next show off which will hopefully give me some time to think over all this shit. I just want to try and forget about everything that’s been going on in my personal life right now. It’s time I just relaxed and had a chilled out night, with a few pints.
Here in some random bar, the first one I came across actually, the bartender passes me my pint of lager and I drop the money for it on the bar before making my way outside to the smoking area.
Sitting down at one of the free tables, I place my drink down before removing my carton of cigarettes from my pocket along with a lighter. Taking a cigarette out, I pop it into my mouth and light it, inhaling the nicotine and letting it coarse through my system giving me the buzz I so desperately craved.
Taking a gulp from my pint, I begin checking some random shit on my phone, just trying to zone out and enjoy the evening.
"Hey there, big guy..."
I look up from my phone to the voice and see standing over me a very well dressed female. A blonde haired beauty with some red streaks all pulled back into a well brushed out ponytail, wearing a blue button up and very short sleeved shirt and a black skirt that reaches down to just a slight but above her knees.
"I apologize for catching you off guard and everything, but I noticed when you walked in that you looked very down on yourself. I've seen many a man come in here looking to drink away some pain through my years living here, but your eyes are telling a few different stories."
Taking another drink along with a drag of my cigarette, I shake my head and go back to my phone.
“Last time I opened up to someone about my personal problems, it fucked things up for me even more. So, without sounding like an asshole, unless you want a light or something...I’d like to be alone...”
She stands there for a moment before shrugging her shoulders.
"Suit yourself, sorry to trouble you."
The woman walks back off over to her seat at the bar, glancing over her shoulder a bit towards me as she does so. Looking up from my phone, she turns her back to me, pretending she wasn’t staring, causing me to chuckle. You know what, fuck it, at least it’s unlikely she’s going to reveal that she’s fucked Veronica too.
“Okay!”
Getting up from my seat and putting my phone away, I finish off my cigarette, putting it out in the ashtray before walking over to her and sticking my hand out for a handshake.
“Name’s Matthew, but people call me Matt...can I buy you a drink?”
Smiling, she takes hold of my hand.
"If you so wish, Matthew. But I certainly don't want you to feel like you have too. I'm Abigail, it's a pleasure to meet you."
“It’s a pleasure...and I feel like I owe you after the way I treated you just now, so what will it be?”
"Surprise me, I like my strong drinks just as much as my girly ones."
The two of us head back into the bar and Abigail takes a seat in one of the free booths as I approach the bar. I quickly down the rest of my pint and place the empty glass onto the bar as the bartender approaches me.
“Same again?”
“No...can I get two Godfather’s please...”
The bartender nods as he grabs two old fashioned looking glasses, putting some ice cubes into them. He then grabs a bottle of Scotch along with a bottle of Amaretto Almond Liqueur and mixes up the cocktail before pouring them into both glasses.
“Thanks...”
Placing the money onto the bar, I grab the drinks and head back over to the booth Abigail is sitting in, and sit down opposite her, placing the drink down in front of her.
“There you go Abigail...a Godfather...on the rocks...”
"Going weak on me huh? Alright big guy, that'll do."
Abigail laughs as she downs a good bit of the drink, then looking back to me in a questioning way, strokes my hand on the table.
"So come on now, what's troubling you? Even with you deciding to be nice with me, I can see that battle in your mind through your eyes."
Taking a few large mouthfuls of my drink, I let out an elongated sigh before looking over to her.
“I’ve just been unlucky in love, that’s all...I just seem to always end up picking the wrong ones, I guess...”
Finishing off my drink, I stroke my beard and shake my head.
“But hey...enough about the crap I’m dealing with, tell me a bit about yourself. I take it from what you said earlier that you’ve lived here in New York for a long time?”
"Indeed I have, my whole life to be exact. I've moved a bit around the state, mostly when I was younger with my family, but I think I've been around Syracuse for about the past five years now. But back to you, I'm finding it hard to believe a nice gentlemen like yourself is having relationship issues. You look about the right age to have girls wanting to be with you, not the opposite."
“Well I’ve been married twice, my first wife committed suicide and my second wife divorced me after realizing she preferred women. Since then I’ve had two relationships, my third relationship ended through jealousy and my last one...well...she did something to me that in my book is one of the worst things you can ever do to a partner...”
"Ouch...I'm...sorry. You really don't seem like you deserve any of that. Honestly, and pardon me for the language, but screw those other gals."
“I can easily say that for the first three no problem, I’ve moved on from them...it’s just my latest...I just...”
Pausing for a moment, I let out another long sigh.
“As much as she hurt me, I just can’t get her out of my mind...it’s a fucking nightmare!”
I hit the table with my balled up right fist before putting my head in my hands.
“I need another fucking drink...”
After a few moments, I feel a slight touch next to me as I look up and see Abigail has moved from her spot to come over to me, placing a hand on the back of my head.
"I think you just need a friend. I don't know the torment in your mind, but I do know I'm not going to just watch you feel so beaten. Sure I just met you a bit ago, sure love isn't my biggest expertise, but I can see you have a good heart and just need someone to listen."
Dropping my arms down onto the table, I stare forward as Veronica’s face sits there in my mind, refusing to leave.
“I just...I don’t know what the fuck I did wrong, you know? I confessed my love to her...I let her into my home...I let her get close to my kids. I gave her everything a girl could ever ask for and then she goes and fucks some other guy behind my back...”
Abigail leans her head over in front of my face.
"Hey now, you should know better than to let that gal get to you that much, and to take advantage of you like that. She does not deserve to be stuck in your mind if she does something like that to you, man or woman that is sick and pathetic in my opinion."
“You’re right...I know you’re right...it still doesn’t rid her from my mind though, I don’t know what to do, I really don’t. Maybe I should just give up on trying to find someone, maybe I’m destined to be a single father for the rest of my life...”
"Sweetie let me tell you from my own experience, love is a tricky thing to get. I have had a lot of relationships in my life, and none of them ever work, honestly that's why recently I've went to just going on a no-commitment route. If that guy pops up for me that stays long term, great, but you can't let love control your life."
Abigail places her arm over my neck and smiles.
"Sometimes, we just got to have fun with the life we are given, ya know?"
Maybe she’s right, perhaps Veronica is just a lost cause that I’m desperately holding onto for no fucking reason. And considering how this mess has gotten in the way of our plans for our revolution with The Orphanage, maybe it’s best if I just forget about her and move on. Turning to her, I smile before nodding a little as I study her face in more detail.
“You know, did I ever tell you how beautiful I think you look? I mean...I have quite the collection of whisky back at my hotel room, fancy joining me for a few drinks there?”
"My my Matthew, such a gentlemen. I would be delighted, I really think you could use some cheering up from Abigail. Plus, you aren't such a bad looker yourself big guy."
I smile before we both stand to our feet, grabbing our coats and making our way out of the bar back to my place.
Like Abigail said, sometimes you’ve just got to enjoy yourself more, live life to the fullest and not get all hung up on certain things. And it’s about time I did something like that, Abigail is such an amazing and beautiful woman, she almost makes me even forget about...wait, who am I trying to forget again? Guess it worked.
Back at my hotel room and we’ve had a few drinks, tried various whiskeys that I have, because I sure do love a good glass of whiskey that’s for sure. We decide to move things into the bedroom, because why the fuck not? I’m not tied down with anyone, I’m a single guy looking for a one night stand that could maybe lead to something more? I mean, Abigail, she’s sophisticated, smart, funny and absolutely gorgeous.
She listens to me, and respects me, it’s hard to find people in the world like that nowadays.
We head into the bedroom together as I pull off my T-shirt and place it onto one of the chairs nearby, turning to Abigail, I notice she’s already getting undressed herself.
“Just make yourself comfortable, I’m going to quickly pop to the bathroom...”
"Hurry back big guy, I think you are gonna really like what I have for you. And I'll give you a clue, it involves a good bit of touching, a lot of sweating, and if you really got something for me you could be getting some nice moans as well."
Abigail pulls off her shirt to reveal the lace black bra she is wearing, walking over and stroking her hand against my chest before turning her back to me and pulling down her skirt to reveal the matching black thong she has on underneath.
“Damn...”
Smiling at what I see, I then make my way into the bathroom, closing the door behind me except it remains slightly open. Twisting the cold tap on, I look up at my reflection in the mirror and quickly check my teeth to see if anything is stuck in them.
“Okay, teeth fine...”
Cupping my hand over my mouth, I let out a sharp quick breath out and sniff up, pulling a slight face at the smell before then quickly sniffing under my armpits and almost recoiling in disgust.
“Shoulda taken a shower after training today...ah well...nothing good ol’ deodorant can’t fix...”
Picking up a can of deodorant, I spray it under my arms before then opening up the medicine cabinet and taking out a small bottle of fresh breath spray and press down a couple of times, sending two small quick bursts of minty freshness into my mouth.
“Much better...”
Cupping my hands underneath the running water, I then splash it over my face before turning the tap off and grabbing a nearby towel and dabbing my face dry. As I place the towel back onto it’s hook, I look down in the near empty trash can and notice something.
“What is that?”
Bending down, I pick up the photograph and sit down on the edge of the bathtub staring at it. The photo depicts myself with my two children...and Veronica. We look so happy together, all four of us...my kids are always asking where she is and it kills me having to lie to them all the time, but if this isn’t meant to be, I’m going to have to tell them the truth eventually.
"Oh Matty, I need you to hurry back in here. I think I lost my bra in my drunken stumbling, silly ol' me."
Suddenly I snap back into reality. Shit! Abigail! I can’t do this, yeah Veronica may have done this to me, but if I do the same thing, I’m just as bad as she is. And I’ve never ever even dreamed of cheating on any of my partners. I can’t do this too her, I love her too much to do this. I don’t want anyone else, I want Veronica.
“Coming...”
I say half heartedly as I continue staring at the photograph before finally looking up to the door and making my way out of the bathroom. Abigail is there, sitting up in my bed, covering herself up with her clothes strewn all over the room, her bra is actually hooked onto the corner of the fucking door, I have no idea how the Hell it could have gotten up there but I guess that explains why she couldn’t find it.
“I’m sorry, Abigail...I-I can’t do this...”
I walk over to the bed and flop down on the edge of it, once again looking at the photograph.
"Aww come on big guy, you don't have to be shy around me ba- wait...what's that."
Abigail, a bit slowly, crawls her way over and leans against me, which I really wish she wouldn't do because having a naked woman against me is not what I want right now, but at least I can tell she is in a different mindset at the moment.
"That's...a beautiful photo Matthew. I'm guessing that's Veronica."
“It is, yes...and my kids too. She loves them so much she calls them her cubs, and they love her equally as much...”
I let out a sigh as a single tear slowly trickles down my cheek as I let out a short, small chuckle before wiping away the tear.
“You must think I’m just a big baby crying over a girl...but...I still love her so much. And where you may be able to move on from your past relationships and just enjoy yourself with whoever you want, I just...that’s not me...I just can’t...”
"Hey, I never expect everyone to be able to move on as easily as me. Matt...are you sure this girl doesn't feel guilty for what hurt she did to you? Because, this picture, that look in her eyes...I don't know a woman with that much love in her eyes that would actually cheat or if they did, they did it only because of a really good reason. THAT look, that isn't just some joke look."
Abigail smiles as she wipes the tear trail off my face.
"I may be a girl who loves to find a nice fuck buddy and just enjoy her time, and Matthew you are an amazing man with a misunderstood heart. That being said, even if it doesn't really look like it with me being a naked gal sitting next to you and in my mind I feel a little crappy not getting to see a little more of you, I don't want you to feel guilty by having a night of ecstasy with me. You're heart is with Veronica, and if you really think it needs to stay there, then you certainly don't need to be sleeping with me."
She’s right, I already know from what Veronica has said to me whenever she’s tried talking to me that she regrets what she did. I can’t believe I almost threw something so amazing away for just one night of meaningless sex!
“Thank you for understanding...”
Standing to my feet, I collect up all of her clothes and pass them to her before taking my wallet out from my pocket. Removing a twenty dollar bill and placing it onto the bed, I look away from her out of respect so she can get herself changed.
“That should cover you for a cab back home, maybe next time you’re out on the prowl you can find a guy who’s not emotionally tied down like I am.”
I can hear Abigail put on her clothes before she walks over to me and gives me a hug, then handing me back my twenty.
"I don't need the handouts babe, trust me, earning a new friend tonight and getting you to see the light of things is payment enough. Next time you are around here, give me a call, I think my number is still saved in your phone from when I used it to find my phone when I lost it for that little bit before we got a bit drunk. But yeah, honestly, I'm glad I met a friend, and I want to hopefully hear about good things from you and Veronica, I really hope you two can work all this out."
“Me too, thanks for everything Abigail, and sorry tonight didn’t end the way you were hoping for...”
Abigail laughs as she releases me from the hug.
"Big guy, I have a good vibrator at home, do not worry about me. You bought me drinks and gave me a good conversation partner tonight, that's good enough for me."
Abigail walks away and to the door, looking back at me with that same look from earlier tonight before she smiles.
"Keep in touch, Matty. And if I end up being wrong about Veronica, well...Abigail may not mind trying to settle down with a guy like you."
Abigail laughs again as she exits the hotel room, leaving me alone in my thoughts once more.
I guess the big question on my mind now is, do I go and see her, or should I wait for her to come to me? It’s a difficult one to say the least, because if I wait for her to come to me, she may end up moving on herself in belief that I want nothing to do with her anymore.
But at the same time, I don’t want to be the one going back to her when she was the one who is in the wrong.
I’m so confused right now on what to do.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So I figured I would go back home and spend some time with my kids since I’m not scheduled to wrestle at Breakthrough 42. And I rarely get the chance to see them anyway what with me being on the road all the time. I must have thought that spending some quality time with them would help me get my mind off of Veronica...but it doesn’t.
If Nick or Chelsea aren’t asking where she is, I’m seeing her beautiful angelic face whenever I look at my kids faces, it’s as if Veronica herself were their mother not Stacy. I just want to forget about her, I’m here to spend time with my kids, it’s not fair to them if I can’t enjoy my time with them.
I’m busy play wrestling with Nick whilst Chelsea is upstairs having a nap. Jade, the nanny is busy in the kitchen rustling up some sandwiches for lunch when I hear three hard knocks on the front door.
"Jade!"
I yell through towards the kitchen.
"Can you get that for me, please?!? Nick's got me pinned to the floor right now!"
As I go back to wrestling with Nick, I hear Jade open the front door and I’m just barely listening to the conversation. I’m more focused on Nick that I can’t tell who is at the door, all I know is that whoever it is, it’s a woman.
"May I help you, dear?"
"Hello there ma'am..."
Rolling around on the floor with Nick, I continue to listen in slightly to the conversation.
"I'm not sure if Matthew is busy or not, but I really need to speak with him if that is okay."
"Certainly dear, come on in..."
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Jade make her way into the house followed by the woman at the door. Once they enter the living room, I look up and see Veronica standing there and honestly, as pleased I am to see her, I’m also not happy to see her either as all the pain comes flooding back.
"You have a visitor, Matthew."
I get up to his feet, picking Nick up with me and holding him in my arms. Nick's smile brightens up as he looks over to Veronica, but it fades instantly as he sees the emotionless expression on his my face.
"I didn't ask who she was, but she seems to know who you are. I hope it's okay that I let her in."
"It's fine, Jade...here, can you take Nick and look after the kids whilst I go out for a walk?"
"Certainly, dear."
I hand Nick over to her, he’s looking as though he wants to say something to Veronica but is taken away by Jade before he can get anything across. I brush past Veronica on the way back into the hallway, turning to her with almost remorse in the way I respond.
"Come on..."
Grabbing my leather jacket and putting it on, she follows me as I open the front door and just as quickly as she entered my house, she’s now heading back out.
It seems like we walk for ages just in complete and utter silence, I’m puffing away on a cigarette as the awkward silence drags on longer and longer. I don’t know whether to say something myself or wait for her too, just something better stop this painful silence soon.
"So...nice weather out here, huh?"
She says nervously, as if weather talk is going to make me feel any better about all of this. What is she, a teenage girl?
She says nervously, as if weather talk is going to make me feel any better about all of this. What is she, a teenage girl?
I refuse to respond, we keep walking alongside one another in silence without even glancing over to her.
"Um, was Nick winning?"
"Cut the crap, Winter...what are you doing here?"
Yes, I referred to her as Winter rather than Veronica. I hope that stings, because she’s never going to feel the pain I felt.
She stops herself from walking any further, maybe me referring to her as Winter stung a little too much.
"I just want to figure this all out, because after Breakthrough I've been miserable. I've felt more broken than you could ever know and I just need something to come out of this so I know if I'm even worth your time anymore."
I let out an elongated sigh, finishing off my cigarette and throwing the butt to one side before stuffing my hands into my jacket pockets.
"If I was going to be brutally honest with you...I've been miserable too. I keep thinking to myself over and over, what did I do to you to deserve what you did to me? I keep wondering if maybe I was being too distant since Cera's death, and because of that, you didn't feel like you could confide in me when you needed me the most."
Turning to her, I look deep into her eyes and I can see the pain.
"When I told you at Breakthrough that my love for you was stronger than the love I had for any other woman I've been in a relationship with, I meant it. And that...that's the reason why this has hurt me so much."
"And I can see your pain."
She lets out with agony trailing in my voice.
"You did nothing to deserve this torment. If anything you have learned something I felt a long time ago and I never wanted you to feel that, especially from me."
She takes a deep breath and slowly walks up to me.
"I don't have an excuse for why I hooked up with Greer. Everything was happening so fast and I felt so flustered from the alcohol and the kindness, it just happened and from there I betrayed you. I may have in my mind at the time let this all go as a way to give myself something while you were stuck on Cera, but I am a fool for even considering that a reason. If I lost someone close to me, someone that was family in my heart, I'd act no different. I was in that same state of mind when my sweet Lacey was taken from me by the deity of cruel acts. I had a lot of people comfort me during that, and if anything I am the most pathetic scum on this planet for letting you feel that pain alone and looking more towards my own desires."
The waterworks begin to flood from her eyes as she peers her head back down at my feet.
"I am a fool of a woman who barely understands love, and because of that I made the biggest mistake of my life and betrayed my soul mate. I'm a harlot! I'm a whore! I'm filth beyond doubt and I don't even deserve the release of death during all of this. I fucking hate my body, I fucking hate my soul, I hate my desires, I hate my feelings, I hate Veronica, I hate Alpha, I hate Winter, I hate everything I am because I am a pathetic piece of shit for hurting you!"
I take hold of her chin and lift her face up so we’re once again meeting with our gazes.
"Veronica...by the sheer fact that you said all of that, shows you do understand love, you may not have understood it before, but you do now. And as much pain and suffering you have caused me lately...I just...can't let you go forever...I don't want to let you go. You made a mistake and you understand that...and...I forgive you."
There, I said it. I can’t continue without her any longer. I need her in my life, I know what she did was wrong. But I love her more than life itself, and I know she’d never do this to me every again. She collapses in front of me as I say this to her, probably because she didn’t expect me to say what I just said.
"I don't deserve your love, I don't deserve anything in your life Matthew, the biggest among all of that being Nick and Chelsea. They are everything to me, but they have been hidden from my true colors. Your kids are so precious and adorable, and with me around I am just going to set a bad example, and I can't let my pups be raised by a whore. I lied to the man I...to the man I...love."
She finally said it? She actually...finally...said it to me.
"Matthew, I love you...I can finally push past this fear and this agony. I want to embrace the emotion, for once in my life I want to let it be known to someone I know truly cares, I love you!"
Bending down in front of her, I slowly stroke the hair out of her face before taking hold of her arms and slowly helping her back up to her feet, and then I place my hands onto her hips.
"You may not believe you deserve my love right now, and you may believe that you are the worst person in the world right now. But you're far from that Veronica...there are people out there who cheat on their partners and do it over and over without a care in the world for how they make their partners feel. You did this once, in a lapse of judgement, consumed with alcohol and feeling like you were alone."
A small smile begins to grow on my lips.
"Those people are the worst people in the world...those people don't deserve to be loved. I'm giving you a second chance because I believe you will never do that to me again...I did it because I want you in my life and in my kids life...I did it because I love you too."
A smile slowly grows on her lips as well as she wraps me in a hug. I feel so amazing right now, I never thought this day would ever happen. Once again, I feel complete again.
"I'll never forget this..."
She leans in closely to me and embraces her lips against mine, and this time I’m not pushing her away. I hold onto her tightly as we both smile through the passionate moment.
"If it's okay with you...I still want to give you the real apology you deserve. And if Jade is okay with watching over the kids, can you please take me somewhere a show me how a real man makes love?"
"I know just the place...my Queen."
I pick her up, cradling her as we again lock lips with one another and I carry her away. A night of forgiveness, of pleasure, of true love...awaits.
