Post by Deleted on Apr 18, 2016 12:28:39 GMT -6
Stacy’s Perspective
Last night’s Pay-Per-View event, Nothing Else Matters couldn’t have gone any better in my eyes. Being able to pick up a second victory in a row, as well as said victory being over Winter and it being the Main Event of the Pay-Per-View! It was truly an amazing feeling, being able to make that woman bleed at my hands. To get revenge, not for me, but for my future wife and my best friend, it felt so good.
The only way this good feeling can be topped? Well, it’s about to happen soon because I’m planning on picking up my kids today to take care of them over the weekend. It’ll be the first time I will have seen them in two years and I’m so fucking excited about finally being able to hold my babies in my arms once again.
Nothing can bring me down today, absolutely nothing! I can’t wait to introduce them to Katie, to Tyler, to Zelda, to Zahara, to Farrah. And I know they are all dying to meet my kids too. This weekend is going to be the best weekend ever.
I make my way out of the hospital here in Windsor, after having a quick check up regarding the injuries I sustained at Nothing Else Matters. It sucks because due to how much of a number Winter did on me, I’m going to have to miss Breakthrough forty-four as a result, and considering how much I love this business, I hate having to miss shows.
However, I’m going to go and pick up my kids now, and we’re going to begin the long drive back to New York and back home where Katie, Ty, Zel, Zo and Farrah will all be waiting. So I make my way towards my car and unlock it before climbing into the drivers seat and just sit there for a few moments and breathe slowly, slightly nervous about seeing them for the first time in two years.
Suddenly, my phone begins to vibrate in my pocket so I remove it and check the caller ID and see that it’s Doctor Li. She’s probably calling to check if I’m on my way, I owe a lot of this to her and I will forever be grateful to her for everything she has done for me. Smirking, I hit the green accept button with my thumb before placing it to my ear and giving her a very cheerful greeting.
“Hi Doctor Li, don’t worry...I’m on my way now. I’m so excited to finally be able to see Nick and Chels, it’s been two long years and I just can’t contain my happiness!”
"Stacy...you may need to consider making other plans for today, we need to talk."
I raise my eyebrow in confusion, I don’t like the tone in her voice.
“Other plans? What do you mean?”
"Well...Matt brought the kids to the designated pick up location about an hour ago, and they were for lack of a better word..."
Hearing a deep breath from the other side of the call, worry begins to overshadow my excitement.
"I really hate having to say this to you...Stacy they were very adamant on wanting to stay away from you. Now before you get upset, Matt looked really shocked hearing this reaction from them as well, but talking to them they said it was something about watching what you did to Veronica last night while they were sitting in the crowd at the show. They looked afraid whenever I mentioned you."
No! This can’t be happening! They don’t want to see me? They’re afraid of me? Oh no! They think I’m a monster! Tears immediately begin to fall down my face as my lower lip begins to quiver.
“N-No...N-NO! Th-this can’t be happening! Please tell me this isn’t happening! Please tell me this is s-some kind of s-sick belated April Fools joke!”
"Stacy...I wouldn't do that to you. They aren't here, they went home with Matt, we can try again in a week or two but I couldn't force them to go with you, there was genuine fear from them. Whatever you did last night to her, they are seriously scarred by it."
“WE MADE A DEAL!!! I WANT TO SEE THEM!!! Can’t I at least try and explain things to them? P-Please Doctor Li! I beg you! I don’t care where I have to go to see them! I don’t care how far I have to travel because I will go to the ends of the Earth to see them!”
I’m struggling to breathe right now, I didn’t mean to yell at her, but I just really want to see my kids right now. It’s been two years since I’ve seen them, two FUCKING years!
"Stacy, calm down...as your therapist, hearing you in this state, I am highly advising you just take a day or two to calm down. You acting in this way are in no condition to explain anything to them, you need to have your head in the right place before I give my approval. I know you want to see them, I want you to get to see them, I know how much they mean to you, but I also know from common psychology that how they were acting, if you even tried to explain to them, anything you say will only be heard in their heads like a monster talking."
“So what? I’m just meant to go back home and live my life like nothing fucking happened when my kids think that I’m a God damn FUCKING MONSTER?!?! What if they never want to see me ever again? What if they never forget what they saw last night?”
"They probably never will, but you will get your chance to talk to them. For now though, you would only hurt their minds more confronting them, I've seen it happen before and it isn't pretty. I'm sorry I have to do this to you but if you want any chance to see them again, you need to just drop the plans for today and give them a week or 2 to breathe and let the fear die down."
Letting out a wail, I bury face into my free hand and begin to sob uncontrollably.
“I-I...I want to s-see my babies...I w-want to hold them t-tight and tell them e-everything is okay! WHY DOES EVERYTHING KEEP GOING WRONG?!?!”
"Stacy please just listen to me...I feel so bad doing this and I wish I could fix it all, I'm so sorry. If anything, maybe this is my fault for choosing a bad time to have you do all this. I'll take all the responsibility, I'm sorry..."
I just want to go home and curl up into a ball on my bed right now on my own, I don’t want to talk to anyone right now, I want to be alone.
“I-I’ve got to go...I just want to go home and be alone right now...”
"Are you sure? I can meet up with you still and we can have a small session to talk things out..."
“I’m sure...I h-honestly don’t know what I would do if I had any human interaction right now with anyone. I-I’ll end up proving my kids right by being the monster they think I am.”
"Well...just...promise me you will be okay?"
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Katie’s Perspective
Man, everything’s been fantastic recently. Successfully defended my title against a game Kincaid, made a new friend before that named Zahara, and now I get to meet Stacy’s little ones! EEK! I think for once, I can safely say there’s not much that could screw this day up completely. I sit on the couch, still trying to understand American football through Madden 16. Of course, I just picked the one team with the coolest name, which is obviously the Chargers. That lightning bolt even looks dangerous! So, it’s the third quarter, I think, and I think I’m winning by a little bit. The score says 24 for me, and 14 for the computer.
“Come on, quarterback, get the egg and throw it to Jones. It’s not that hard to throw an egg!”
All of a sudden, the door opens up, so I pause the game to go and see who it is. Immediately, worry crosses my face as I see Stacy in floods of tears and without her kids. She immediately begins to run upstairs, not saying a single word to me as I quickly follow behind her.
Of course, I’m able to keep up, but I’m not quick enough to get into our room, so the door hits me right in the face. I hold my nose in pain before getting up and knocking on that door.
“Stacy, what’s wrong?”
No response, except the uncontrollable sobbing coming from my future wife. I try opening the door but it’s locked from the inside. My worry begins to increase even further, loads of thoughts begin to flood my brain, and none of them good.
“Gah...Stacy, come on, please open up...”
Hearing her cry, it’s just breaking my heart.
“Stacy, please! Open the door!”
All of a sudden, her crying stops, perhaps she’s finally going to let me in and explain things to me? So I wait...and wait...and wait. Nothing. Not a peep, and that is when my worry hits it’s peak, given her history.
“Stacy...if you’re still there...please open the door so we can talk. You’re hurting my heart by not doing so...”
While her crying has stopped, mine has started. At least this time, it’s for a good reason.
Still nothing. I start banging on the door hard, shoving it with my shoulder trying to break it down. My shoulder is killing, but I don’t care because right now my heart is hurting more than anything. Damn these strong doors!
I give it one final stronger budge, but still...nothing. I give up on trying to bust the door down and slowly sink down to a semi foetal position.
“Pl...please, M-M-Ms. J...open the door. Please? Please open the door?”
Tears stream down my face as I get no response again, there’s only one option I have now and that’s to get someone else here to help get through this damn door. I take my phone out of my pocket and find Tyler’s number and hit the green call button before placing it to my ear.
But, no answer...so now I have to tweet at him.
“@tlrstorm?”
Again, I’m not getting much of an answer. Perhaps he thinks this is some kind of April Fools joke. DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A JOKE TO YOU?! Of course it takes a couple minutes for a reply, but those couple minutes pass without a single word.
“Seriously, @tlrstorm...this is...it’s serious. I know, considering the day, you’d expect something crass, but this isn’t it, I swear.”
“Come on, Tyler...please answer...”
Still nothing. Mmm...
“@tlrstorm! SERIOUSLY! PLEASE ANSWER! YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WORRYING ME RIGHT NOW! AHHHHH!”
Inside, that’s just...it. I just want to scream, this is a damn nightmare!
Lowering my head onto the floor, my phone slips out of my hand and drops to my side as I curl up into the foetal position once again and sob uncontrollably, saying these words over and over again...
“Please don’t be dead, Stacy...please...”
Small puddles of tears begin to form on the floor as all of these horrible thoughts continue through my head as I pray for some kind of response from Tyler.
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Stacy’s Perspective
Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this punishment? What can I possibly do now to get my babies back? They think I’m a monster and they want nothing to do with me! They want her...they want fucking Veronica! Their...new mother.
It’s been a couple of hours now since Katie gave up trying to get me to open the door, I can still hear the faint sobbing coming from the outside of my bedroom door.
As I lie on my bed, hugging my pillow close to my body in the foetal position, my face stained black with dried mascara, I suddenly hear more commotion from the other side of the door. Various frantic voices faintly heard when I jump slightly as I hear loud knocking on it, these knock seem much stronger and louder than Katie’s.
"Stacy?!? It's Tyler, come on now and open the door! I don't know what the fuck is going on in your head right now but you have your family right out here wanting to help you, please just let us in and we can talk about everything."
As much as I know they want to help me, I just want to be alone right now. I’ve put them through too much already and I don’t want to put them through any more shit that I’m having to constantly deal with because of how much of a fucked up failure I am. I refuse to respond, much like I did earlier with Katie and I just bury my face into the pillow, hoping that my mind takes me elsewhere, somewhere happy, somewhere I don’t have to feel all of this pain.
"Stacy come on, I know you can hear me! Open up, let us talk to y-"
Just then, I can hear a loud yet very breathy heavy scream coming from who I think is Zelda, followed by Elena crying out. Tyler's voice becomes a little faint as he walks away from the door.
"Zahara, try talking to Stacy. I need to take Zelda and Elena into a different room. We don't need two more panic attacks right now too add onto this."
The young magician had kept her distance as Tyler tried to get through to me, but when she heard Zelda wail like that, followed by the little one, I guess she flinched. It wasn't until Tyler spoke to her directly that she got back to her senses I guess.
"I'll do what I can..."
Taking a deep breath, I hear her wander up to the door, leaning on it and knocking gently.
"Stacy...open up, hon. You don't need to deal with whatever is eating you up by yourself. I...WE...want to help."
Poor Zo and Farrah. They’ve never had to deal with as much crap as Ty, Zel and Katie have. Sometimes I wish I had never allowed them into my life, not because I don’t love them to bits and value their friendship as much as I value Ty and Zel’s. But because they don’t deserve to be dragged into this Hell that is my life right now.
I slowly lift my head up off the pillow and look down at my bedside drawers. A label plastered on the front of it reads ‘Bad Things’, I slowly open it and inside is a black rose...and beside it...
The small amount of light that creeps through my bedroom curtains, bounces off the razor blade and glimmers in my eyes. Part of it still showing signs of dried blood from the first time I tried to take my own life. Should I do it? Should I leave them all behind?
Just then, a rough stomping sound moves it way towards the door and a short gasp from Zo as the door is slammed against hard followed by Tyler's voice with an angrier tone.
"Stacy, open this fucking door! This isn't a game any more, this is where we need to stick together and talk through all this! Get yourself together and stop hiding from the people who want to help you."
A few more slams against the door as I remain silent to Tyler's plea.
"You are about to not be given a decision Stacy, open the door God damn it! I don't want to be forced to cause property damage today!"
"Come on, Tyler...you're gonna hurt yourself and yelling at her isn't gonna make her open the door any quicker!"
Her voice trembled when she spoke but Zoey sounded just as concerned in her own way, trying once more to reach her friend.
"Come out of there, Stacy! Hiding is only going to make things worse!"
I place the blade against the skin on my wrist, now sitting on the edge of my bed, I glance over to the door with tears rolling down my cheeks. I finally decide to open my mouth and speak, but I know it’s not going to be what anyone wants to hear.
“Leave me alone! I don’t want to put any of you through any more of this crap I have to deal with! Goodbye forever...I love you all...”
Now there comes two slams against the door, one weaker than the other yet still insistent. Those words, the meaning behind them, have Zoey slamming into the door along with Tyler.
"Stacy! Zo, move the fuck out of the way!"
The sound of a rough run away from the door comes from the other side, Zo gasping as the run sound now begins coming closer and then...CRASH!
"Motherfucker!"
The shock of this sends the blade flying to the ground as the bedroom door flies open, one of the hinges breaking off with parts of the door and the other hinges bending roughly as the force of the door slams against the wall and shakes the room. Tyler, who came in right behind the door back first and landed rough against the ground, lays in pain in front of me with splinters and dust flying around him, a few cuts brandishing the back of his arms as well with some blood visible when his body tries moving.
"Everyone in the fucking room now!"
Tyler yells this out as he manages to roll himself onto his stomach and look up towards me, then back to the ground where he sees the blade.
"Please, for the love of God tell me you didn't do it yet..."
Zoey's first move is to check on Tyler...that is, until she sees the blade. Her eyes naturally widen and she looks up to me, tensed like a bowstring but afraid to move. She stays near Tyler, glancing between him, the door and I...looking every bit the deer in the headlights.
“I...I...n-no...I d-didn’t do it...”
Burying my head into my hands, I begin sobbing again as Katie practically jumps onto me, wrapping her arms around me tightly, also sobbing away. Well, that brings a sigh of relief out of the magician, as does the appearance of Katie.
“Stacy, don’t...you...EVER...scare me like that ever again.”
"What she said..."
“I’m s-so sorry...to all of you...I just...m-my babies!”
Again, I let out a wail, much like I did earlier when Doctor Li gave me the worst news I could ever possibly imagine.
“What about them, sweetie? Please, tell us.”
“Th-they think I’m a monster! They don’t w-want anything to do with me! They HATE me!”
The waterworks continue. Everything was going so damn well and then just like that, everything goes back to square one.
“They want their new Mommy...they want Veronica...”
"Wait...what? What kinda knocked-up horse crap is that?!"
“They were there...at Nothing Else Matters. They saw what I did to Veronica in our match, and now they’re terrified of me and want nothing to do with me...”
"...that's...that's...it's gotta be some kinda plot on Robinson's part, don't it?"
I slowly shake my head at Zo’s comment as I slowly rub the back of my distressed fiancee.
“I don’t think so, Zo. He may hate me, b-but he wants me to be in my children’s life...”
"That's kinda what I'm saying! If he knew you were gonna throw down hard with Winter, cause that woman had it coming, making sure your kids were at the show...maybe he wanted you to scare them!"
“I-I don’t know...I don’t know what to think...I just want my babies back in my life...”
Helping Tyler to his feet, Zoey looked over her shoulder as she prepared to lead him to the bathroom to see about checking for splinters and what-not.
"And that's what we want, too. So please let us help...and no scaring us to death."
She offers a weak if genuine smile before helping Tyler out of the room. Now it’s just Katie, Farrah and I left and now is when the guilt trip begins. I feel terrible for subjecting Zo and Farrah to this for the first time, and putting Ty, Zel and Katie through this pain yet again. I’m such a fucking mess.
“I’m so sorry about all of this Farrah, you didn’t need to deal with this...none of you did.”
"Honestly?"
Farrah rubs the back of her neck.
"I've...dealt with it before. I'm just glad that in your case you didn't go through with it."
She offers a small smile, but this situation must have taken her back unpleasantly.
“I probably would have gone through with it, had Tyler not busted the door down in time.”
Looking down at Katie, I kiss her softly on the top of her head.
“Had it not been for Katie all those months ago, I’d be dead right now because of the exact thing I was about to do.”
Katie lets a big sniffle escape, she’s an absolute mess.
“I-I thought we were past all this...really, I did.”
Farrah looks between the two of us, then silently slips away.
“I thought we were too, sweetheart. Clearly I need more help, because I’m obviously still pretty messed up.”
“I wish I could do more...”
Katie buries her beautiful brown eyes into my right shoulder, trying to dry them off.
“You can do more, you all can. I just need to talk to you all instead of just hiding myself away. I need to let you all in rather than shutting you all out. I do that, and then you can all do more to help...”
“Th-that’s true, Stace...”
Around that point, Zoey pokes her head back in around the corner.
"I'm...sorry to interrupt, but I'm gonna run Tyler to the hospital. His back looks and feels kinda bad so...y'know, better safe than sorry. I'll have my phone, though...so please call me in a few?"
I slowly nod, looking down to the floor in shame for what I’ve forced Tyler to suffer. The stuff I’ve put all these people through, sometimes I wonder why they still stick around with me. Zelda’s always saying she doesn’t deserve the people around her because of the past that she’s ashamed of, but I’m the one who doesn’t deserve the people around me because of the present that I’m ashamed of.
“O-okay Zo...I’m sorry...”
"Don't be. Just stay with us, okay?"
She offers up one of her heart-warming smiles, then slips away as Katie and I continue to embrace one another tightly.
It seems like I’ve taken a step back in terms of my recovery with my mental stability. But the overwhelming heartache of not being able to see my kids when it was looking like I was, just took over.
I need to make sure something like this never happens again. Because if this continues to happen, next time I may not be so lucky. Matter of fact, I know eventually my luck will run out with someone being there to stop me from ending it all.
Problem is, it’s quite clearly easier said than done...
