No Fear, But All The Negativity.

I’ve never had this problem before, not wanting to face someone out of fear that I’ll seriously hurt them and myself. Physically, that will always forever and a day come with the territory. As the old cliché goes, this is professional wrestling, not ballet. I couldn’t tell you when to make a turn in ballet, and I couldn’t tell you what mental repercussions there are in losing everything possible in three seconds, other than your confidence and your drive. I could tell you that the turns you’re making in ballet are good for animation costs, or that someone is sad that they lost two titles within a month. All of that said, I can’t predict the future, and it’s my belief that no one truly can, and that the future is unwritten and what you make of it, just like Back to the Future.

Act I – You’re The Best (Man)… AROUND! Nothin’s Ever Gonna Keep You Down!

Date: May 1st, 2016

Location: Stacy’s Place of Residence.

Well, here we sit. Just two seemingly average women, looking on a phone while a television plays in the background. What a difference a year makes, huh? At this point last year, this woman was my trainer, and now I’m her fiancée, and in about two weeks or so, I’m her opponent. It may seem like nowadays I say this all the time, but there are many, many emotions I feel about this, with a lack of confidence being one of them. In the meantime, there’s a special someone supposed to show up in about 10 minutes time, and it seems like Stacy’s excited to meet him for the second time. This special someone is my older brother, Michael. He’s the most bearded one in the family, and I think he just finished up his studies in college and now he just awaits graduation. He could make music with just about anything and it’ll sound like music, if not actually good.

“Are you wondering at all what kind of music he’ll be playing out of his car?”

I say as she bites away at her fingertips whilst looking at her phone. After a moment of silence, she turns to me finally as if she was in some kind of trance and not paying any attention.

"What, sorry? Oh...right...I was kinda thinking about something completely unrelated actually, honey..."

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’m nervous about this as well. Nervous… but excited at the same time. Last time I saw him was this past Christmas, and we both know how that went, unfortunately.”

"I'm not even thinking about seeing Michael again in all honesty either. I mean, don't get me wrong sweetie, I am looking forward to seeing him again under better circumstances. It's just..."

She lets out an elongated sigh as she puts her head into her hands. I know what's on her mind, because the same exact thing is on my mind as well, although I should at least say otherwise.

"...this is all my fault, Katie. I should have known she would choose you..."

I get up onto the couch and seemingly latch myself onto Stacy, laying my head on her shoulder blade, facing her head. You know, for a human, she makes for a really nice pillow.

“Hey, hey, let’s not worry about that right now, as much as I will in about a week or so. I’ll tell you right here and now, Stace, I’m honestly scared about our match. I really don’t wanna go through with it, as much as that would rip people off, and I don’t wanna do that, either. However, right now is supposed to be a happy time. For at least one day, forget that you’re a former two time Xcel Champion and remember that you’re a soon to be Montes.”

Of course that’s only honorary, I’d rather be Katie Jones. It just has a nicer ring to it to me. She looks at me as a small, soft smile appears on her face before she gently nods.

"You're right...I'm sorry...and I love you..."

Leaning forward, she plants a loving kiss on my lips and wraps her arms around me in a hug.

“I love you, too, sweetie.”

As soon as I say that, we both hear a car door close. Sounds like it could be Mikey, or on the off chance, it could be Tyler. I’m not sure, we’ll see as soon as the front door opens.

"That could be him..."

Stacy gets to her feet and walks over to the front door, opening it just as Mikey is about to knock.

"Hi Michael, it's so nice to see you again..."

Michael has his fist still raised, ready to knock, before slowly lowering it. He’s always been quirky like that.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Jones, glad to see you’re both…”

He hangs on the ending suffix of –th for a split second to glance over Stacy’s shoulder at me before jilting his view right back towards my fiancée.

“…in good health.”

Dressed in, from top to bottom, a brown hat with a question mark block from Super Mario Brothers on, a light brown jacket with long sleeves, since it was rather dreary today with a black polo shirt underneath, denim blue jeans, and a pair of New Balance shoes, in a completely jet black color, about the same as Stacy’s used to be before she dyed it.

"Well, what are you waiting for...come on in...can I get you something to eat or drink?"

“No, not right now. I stopped at the gas station down the road and grabbed a… let’s say, not very healthy for you meal…”

Mikey states as he walks in and nabs a seat next to me as quickly as he can. Thankfully, it’s not where Stacy was originally.

“It involved a few plain hot dogs and what seemed like as much Dr. Pepper as I weigh to wash it down. I weigh about 170, by the way.”

"Fair enough..."

Stacy says as she makes her way into the kitchen and opens up the fridge.

"Katie, honey! Do you want anything?"

“If there’s any Pepsi left, than some of that, pleeeeease?”

I fold my hands in fake begging, which makes Mikey look over, with a slight smile on his face.

"Hmm... Pepsi...Pepsi..."

After a few minutes, she closes the fridge and makes her way back into the lounge with a bottle of Dr. Pepper in one hand and her other hand behind her back.

"Sorry Katie, there wasn't anymore Pepsi left..."

“Oh. I see.”

I slowly nod with a bit of a grimace about me. I look over to Mikey, who is looking over at Stacy’s… arm, I think. With a gesture, he tells me to come closer to him. He lifts his hand over his mouth to whisper to me.

“I think she’s hiding it.”

Suddenly, Stacy shoots a glare over to Mikey.

"Hey! You spoiled it!"

Sticking her tongue out to Mikey, she reveals that in her other hand was indeed a bottle of Pepsi after all and she hands it to me before sitting down beside me, putting her arm around me and giving me a quick peck on the cheek. That rise Mikey got out of Stace made him laugh quite a lot to himself.

“Oopsiedoodle. Guess you gotta hide it a bit better than that. Don’t worry, I gotcha, sis.”

The three of us let out a chuckle before Stacy and I take a drink from our bottles of our preferred soda.

"So then, Michael...how have things been since we last saw you?"

“Aiee, let’s see… I finally finished up my studies a couple days ago, and finally caught another break after Good Friday. Got to play a couple shows on Vandy Campus, and raised a lot of funds for pediatric cancer research a couple months back, which was amazing. Otherwise, it’s been about average, just been doing school work. How about both of you girls?”

"Wow, that's awesome. And well, we've been doing well. Katie's still kickin' ass as the Zero Gravity Champ. I finally got out of my losing slump and won a couple of matches...and other than that, we've been sorting stuff out for the wedding, which as a matter of fact, Katie has something she wishes to ask of you..."

“Oh, really, now?”

“Do what, now?”

Mikey and I (respectively) say at the same time. I wasn’t ready for this now, GAH!

"Well, it was one of the reasons why we invited him over, honey...no time now like the present."

“Yeah, that’s true… Michael? Or MMM, as the ladies have called you on occasion… would you do me the honor of being my best man at the wedding?”

Michael’s eyes widen for a moment, as if my words hit him like a pillow.

“Oh, wow, I wasn’t expecting that today… Of course I’ll be your best man, Kathryne. Wow, I’m really glad you asked that, that just made my day.”

"No trying to sleep with any of my bridesmaids...understand!"

Stacy says, pointing to him whilst trying to maintain a stern facial expression but the hint of a smirk is too obvious to us that we both know she's only joking.

“Of course not, Ms. Jones. I know better than that, give me a little credit.”

Mikey’s face retains its risen-ness, while adding a slight smirk to his genuine smile.

"How many times do I have to tell you Michael, call me Stacy...I am going to be a Montes and part of your family come September..."

Again, an honorary Montes.

“Understood. Surely politeness isn’t dead in the year of our lord 2016?”

"Of course it isn't, I appreciate your politeness of course. But we are family after all. And I am truly honored that you are going to be Katie's best man. I would be truly honored if we saw all of Katie's family there, even her Grandmother..."

Aaaaaand she went there. Man, I hope this doesn't get sour; things got pretty heated between Grandma and Stacy at Christmas dinner. I don't blame Stacy for getting so angry with her, but it was still tough to deal with.

"I know her opinion on same sex relationships, and because of it I may have my issues with her, but it would be nice nonetheless if she were to at least show her face for a period. I've even written out an invitation for her, even though she'll probably just throw it away..."

Mikey’s face drops from a smile to a cringe.

“Hoo, boy… She won’t just throw it away, she’ll probably tear it up, spit on it, possibly shit on it, clog up her toilet with it, serve it with toast… like I would highly suggest not sending that one out at all. I can hold on to it as a memento of sorts, if you’d rather do that.”

"Well then, I think that would be wise...maybe in the future if she ever had a change of heart, it'll show her we were willing to invite her."

“Yeah, but seeing how old she is, I’m not sure she’ll ever have a change of heart. Or a face turn as wrestling calls it, which that is really sad, honestly. But, back to this…”

He points towards the floor, as if to say back to now.

“… I’m truly honored myself, seeing how I’m Katie’s best man and all. Like, I wasn’t expecting to be involved in any wedding talk today, I thought Katie just wanted to hang out for a bit.”

"Well...surprise I guess?"

Stacy flashes Mikey a cheesy grin before she turns to me.

"You've been rather quiet, sweetie...is everything okay?"

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess. While Mikey now being my best man fills me with so much…”

I hold my fist up to my heart, basically saying this moment just pulled at my heartstrings.

“…Oh, mi gusta… Uh… just… you know, I hate to bring up our match against each other that Mikey doesn’t know about yet, but…”

“Wait, you two are having a match?”

"Yeah, it was kinda my fault. The woman I'm having issues with, we're having a match at the upcoming Pay-Per-View event and I thought it would be a good idea to do a pick your poison thing to work out who picks the type of match. Basically pick your poison in wrestling terms means the people involved picks each other's opponents, and I walked right into it basically..."

“Oh. Ouch… that’s gotta suck…”

“Like you wouldn’t believe, brother.”

There's a moment of awkward silence, maybe I shouldn't have brought it up.

"It's something we need to talk about...but it's also something we can work our way through and hopefully come out of it stronger than before."

“I hope so, dear… if not, then I’m not sure what to do other than hold you as tightly as I can.”

I look over to Stacy with a bit of a distressed look about me.

"Hey, listen. I'm not going to let Winter win...WE'RE not going to let Winter win!"

Wrapping her arms around me tightly, she rests her head against my shoulder.

"Nothing will break us apart, our love is stronger than anything she can throw at us..."

I hear Mikey walk up and hug me from behind.

“You two can do this. Remember what I told you after you lost to this Winter? Be optimistic, sister!”

I reciprocate both hugs as best I can, managing to make a circle out of the three of us.

"Michael's right...and hey, look at it this way...if you beat me, yeah there's a chance I won't be able to pick the match stipulation, but you'll have helped boost your own career even higher by defeating a former two-time Xcel Champion."

Again, it may seem like I say this lots as well, but she’s right. It’s like all of this comes to the same conclusion of me being reluctant to face the truth that I know is there. It’s like 8th grade all over again, but this time, my significant other can’t hurt my heart via a nice berating.

Act II – Stepping Out From The Shadow Of Ms. Jones.

Date: May 8th, 2016, at 2:00 AM CST.

Location: The hotel near the Frontier Fieldhouse, Chicago Ridge, Illinois, inside the bathroom.

My camera is all set up, as I sit in a fetal position with my head leaned on to the nearest wall. If it wasn’t obvious enough yet, I really don’t want to go through with this. This is a match that I’ve been fearing since the beginning: a match with my future wife, The Joker to my Harley Quinn, the Tom Morello to my Zach de la Rocha, and I have to face her in a match. Thoughts of not showing up have crossed my mind, but in the spirit of competition, I don’t wanna do that. That would make me a coward and her very upset. So, based on that, with a heavy heart, and in fairness, I guess I’d better talk about my… opponent.

I get up from my fetal position in the bathtub, which is almost pearly white, as if someone who was here before us cleaned it down to the last pore with a lemon-scented bleach. It has a certain yellow tint to it, which is why I guess the bleach was lemon flavored, or at least scented. I don’t leave my spot, but at least I’m standing now.

“You know, just when I thought these past weeks couldn’t get worse. First, Stacy doesn’t get to see her kids, then I hit my head outside of the ring not once, but twice, which put me out of the past Breakthrough, and now I have to face said fiancée, who is a former two time Xcel Champion. That same title was once considered tops and Stacy held it twice before the World Title was established. “

I left my title in the bedroom where Stacy actually is currently. She’s asleep, and hopefully I don’t wake her with all of this.

“Now, coming from me, and considering whom I’ve beaten before, that shouldn’t be an issue, which it’s really not. If I can beat someone who beat Casanova English, then I can beat a two-time, two-time Xcel Champion. No, the issue is Stacy is who taught me practically every single thing I know about professional wrestling, and it’s a real student vs. master situation for me. That same Stacy is my future wife, and as much as I want to keep this Relevancy Crusade going, I don’t want to hurt said fiancée. But, alas, I have no real choice in the matter, much like I have no idea why Emma Carlisle got dragged into this. If I want to be taken really seriously, this is the best time for me to go to war. It’s like a paradise inside of a warzone.”

Since I have very little walking space inside of a bathtub, I decide to step out and walk towards the camera so I can remove it from the crappy tripod it usually rests upon.  The view rises up before cutting to the parking lot, with cars lining either side of the shot, with a view of the Chicago skyline filling the rest of said shot. I walk into the shot to interrupt the skyline.

“You know, not to stray away from the subject, but do you ever feel like you live in a world where if one single thing about you is changed, then it’s always going to be met with negative ridicule, or if one match ends out of the ordinary, then it’s considered an ‘upset?’ Because no matter where I go in this world of wrestling, that’s the aura that’s going to surround me due to my size, or my kindness, or whatever other perceived ‘flaw’ I might have.”

I hate getting worked up, but here she is: worked up Katie.

“Seriously, what’s going to happen on the off chance I actually beat Stacy, hmm? Let me predict that for you: nearly everyone in the building is going to flip his or her shit and say something like ‘OH MY GOD, WHAT AN UPSET FROM KATIE! SHE JUST BEAT A FORMER TWO TIME XCEL CHAMPION!’ except for one person, and they’ll probably be asleep, or bored, or a total and utter bitch about everything until they get another busted lip.”

I point towards my own bottom lip, to show where exactly the anonymous person in question got busted.

“I feel like I wrestle in a world that judges by physical statistics. The larger you are, the better you’re viewed, and the smaller, the worse. I’m one of the smallest people in VoW in general, and look at what I’ve accomplished: current Zero Gravity Champion, most successful Zero-Gee Champion of any active Visionary, and what do I get for my efforts? I get people still saying ‘meh, she’s a fluke. Now, this Kincaid guy, HE’S a real champion because he’s six-foot-eight, and nearly three hundred pounds!’ You know, I like him, but I beat him. Clean. When will you people learn that it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog, huh?”

Now, it might look like I’m getting red in the face, and your eyes don’t deceive you, trust me.

“I… I can’t do this right now.”

I walk over to the camera and seem to shut it off, as indicated by the horrific jump cut that occurs. I’m now sitting back in the bathtub, same scene as before, except I’m a lot more calmed down. Hopefully.

“Now, then, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let me talk about my future wife, Stacy Jones… and I am positive you’d want me to be honest, so here goes. I love you with every drop of blood, every tear that falls, and every bone in my body, but as the generic saying would go, we are wrestlers as soon as we step inside the ring. So, as a wrestler, I know a bad idea when I see one, and you walked right into one when you agreed to a pick your poison type of thing. You should have known that Winter would pick me to face you, as part of her stupid plan to get rid of you, which she’s going to fail at because she can’t ever get the job done which seems to be a trend for anyone in the Orphanage not named Casanova English. If you put your mind to it, Stacy, I am the least of your worries coming up, though, because I’m sure Emma Carlisle didn’t appreciate your calling her to do your own bidding that I know full well you can do on your own.”

I pace around the small space of the bathtub. It’s not much room at all, really.

“Stacy, you know better than anyone that this isn’t normally how I am towards people. It’s not in my nature to be this mean-spirited, but the fact that this match is even happening on your accord just… just pisses me right off. My mom used to tell me not to take stupid lightly. I’ve seen some stupid here in VoW, but I never EVER expected my own future wife to just walk right into a trap like that. But, it’s over and done with, now, and we have a match to do. I love you, but for just walking into that and not expecting Winter to bring up my name, that’s inexcusable, Stacy. In-fucking-excusable, and to prove my point, I’ll have to be the one to end this little run you have going for yourself. Believe me, with the way you’ve been wrestling lately, you’ll get right back to your winning ways. It’s not gonna be a challenge for you, it’ll be an inevitability.”

I shrug before looking away from the camera.

“Now, if you beat me, that saps away everything I’ve worked for, because part of this Relevancy Crusade was me attempting to step out of your shadow and become more than just ‘Stacy’s love squeeze.’ I am more than that, I am Katie Moicelle, Zero Gravity Champion, not Katie Moicelle, Stacy Jones’ accompaniment. I’m sure you’d rather me prove that against someone else, right? I’m sure you’d want me to prove that against Tyler, or Zahara, or Constance, or especially do what you didn’t and actually beat English for once. Kincaid did it, why can’t I? Oh, yeah, because he’s nearly 6 feet tall, and weighs almost twice what I do, right?”

I look over to the camera and give a bit of a disgusted glare.

“Or how about this? I could face Emevlas Stastias. You know, the woman that so desperately wants to face you. I could make sure she never does. What can someone like Matt Robinson or Ryder Blade do that I can’t do? What can someone like Emevlas Stastias or Elskerinne do that I can’t do? Though, the best question to ask here would be simpler, if you ask me.”

I get out of the bathtub, as if trying some form of symbolism.

“What can Stacy Jones do in wrestling that Katie Moicelle cannot do? Time for you to play God, Stacy.”