Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 19:34:12 GMT -6
At Breakthrough 45, Winter Pine and I went through with our pick your poisons. Winter did battle with my choice of opponent in Emma Carlisle and I did battle with her choice of opponent in Katie Moicelle, my fiancee.
Can I even call her that anymore? Is she still my fiancee? Does she want to be my fiancee anymore? I don’t want to think about those questions, but I can’t fucking help but think of them every minute of every day since that fateful night.
She was right. I’ve gotten myself so caught up in destroying Winter, that I’m failing to realize that certain things I do, cause pain to others that I care about. And that’s what happened after our match on Thursday, when I struck the woman I love with a metal pipe.
The match results are irrelevant, I couldn’t give a fuck that because I was victorious and Winter wasn’t, it means I get to pick the stipulation for our final battle at Fate of the Gods. All I care about right now is being back in the arms of the woman I love, because that’s what’s most important to me right now.
The camera flickers to life as I’m here in my New York home, dressed in a pair of dark purple plain silk pyjama bottoms and a light purple plain tank top with no make-up on and my long black and blue hair tied back into a ponytail, sitting in a room that I haven’t been in for a long time; my art room.
Not many people know that I’m quite the artist, but to be honest, I rarely have the time anymore to do any. And not only that, but I normally go to drawing when I’m feeling really low and upset, and boy is this one of those moments. So now, I find myself sitting in front of a large white sheet of paper attached to my artist board, a pencil in my hand.
Stretching my left arm to reach the CD player resting on the table beside me, I push play and “Here Without You” by 3 Doors Down begins to play and I begin to press the lead against the blank canvas as tears begin to slowly fall down my cheeks.
“First of all, I want to apologize to my fans...if I have any left that is...for not being scheduled to compete at Breakthrough 46, as well as for what you all had to witness happen to Katie at my hands after our match at Breakthrough 45. I treasure your support and hope to rectify myself one day to you all...”
Continuing my drawing, I pick up an eraser and rub slightly at a specific area before blowing the debris away and going back to using my pencil.
“I also want to apologize to all of my friends for shutting you all out when you’ve been trying to contact me, to try and help me get through this terrible time in my life right now. I love you all and value how much you care about me, and I hope you all understand that I don’t want to talk right now...”
As the song kicks into the chorus, it hits me pretty hard as I burst into tears but quickly wipe the tears away before it ends up ruining my picture.
“But most importantly of all. Katie, if you’re watching this...I’m so sorry...for everything. You were right when you said that I’ve gotten so Hell bent on destroying Winter that I’m failing to realize the consequences of some of my actions. I never intentionally meant to harm you, whether you want to believe that or not...that is the truth. I love you...I love you more than life itself...I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the light that brightens the darkness in my life, you are the Harley Q to my Mr J...you are my everything...”
Finishing off my drawing, I lean back a little to look over my work, and once I’m satisfied that it’s okay, I turn my attention to the camera.
“I hope you can forgive me and accept me back into your arms, because I honestly don’t know how I can survive without you in my life. That’s why I said yes to you when you got down on your knee and proposed to me on my birthday...”
Standing to my feet, I walk right up to the camera, my eyes red raw due to how much I’ve been crying.
“But, I understand if you want nothing more to do with me...you deserve better, Katie. I’ve put you through too much already, you’re young...go and live your life and find someone who deserves you. Just know, I will never stop loving you...and I will never ever forget you...”
I then kiss the tip of my fingers, close my eyes and press my finger tips against the lens before disappearing off camera.
The camera then slowly moves towards my drawing and pans around to show it on screen as the song on the CD player comes to an end as the scene slowly fades to black on the picture.
I’m not sure if I will be able to move on from this. I don’t think it would be possible for me to move on and find someone else. I’ll never ever love anyone as much as I love Katie, and I would do anything to have her back in my life.
I don’t think my life could get any worse from here. It won’t matter whether I manage to defeat Winter at Fate of the Gods or not, because she’s already won. I’m a broken woman, she has taken everything away from me and has broken me.
Congratulations, Winter...Stacy Jones is dead.