Machetes and Interviews what a day

Every day is a new set of challenges that’s what most people say but then again MOST PEOPLE HAVENT BEEN SITTING AROUND BORED FOR SEVERAL WEEKS WITH NOTHING TO DO! I mean honestly how can they justify treating a lady this way they book me one show and ignore me for two whole shows after that and I have been so bored and I can’t go kill time because that’s counted as murder for some reason what a drag. Anyway to kill some of the boredom I have decided to go for a shopping trip to cheer me up maybe something fun will alleviate my crazier than normal disposition I mean all that time with no one but Billy and Betty for company would drive anyone loopy. So I got dressed in my favourite leather corset top and red leggings with black leather boots and get out into the hustle and bustle of St Paul Minnesota and oh my god it’s so boring.

Beatrice: No Betty I don’t hear banjos what are you talking about? SHUT UP BILLY!

As I shout this a girl passing me lets out a squeak scream leaping on the spot making me laugh.

Beatrice: Oh priceless.

I give her a pat on the head before carrying on to skip down the street, I have to say they are so nice here making sure to get out my way as I head down the street.

Beatrice: Now then where is fun where is lively where is… Oh my Isn’t that just adorable yawl.

I skip across the street to come face to face with a geek collectables shop looking in the window to see all the goodies inside. I skip inside and there aren’t many people here and the few people there is I doubt has ever seen a real woman before especially one like me. I browse the shelves for a moment till someone walks up to me.

??: Can I help you Miss?

I look at him and he’s wearing a nametag his name is Dustin what an unfortunate name.

Beatrice: Well hello there and sure you can hun what have you got here that’s fun?

Dustin: Well what do you like?

Beatrice: I’m a horror girl, I love those serial killers.

Dustin: Well follow me we have some cool stuff over here.

I follow him slowly skipping along with the music playing in the shop and he shows me a glass case with some stuff that made my eyes light up.

Beatrice: Oh my darlin that is fun.

I scan the shelves and the first thing that meets my gaze is taken too a replica of Jason’s machete.

Beatrice: Oooh let me look at that one sugar.

Dustin: Good choice, Jason’s machete is a must have for any collector.

He unlocks the case and takes the weapon out passing it too me when a look comes over his face makes me want to stab him but I hold that impulse back even with Betty screaming in my ear.

Beatrice: Whats wrong hun?

Dustin: Aren’t you Beatrice La Fay?

Beatrice: Yes, I am hun I see you are a wrestling fan?

Dustin: Yeah, didn’t you lose your last match against Ace Watson and Dustin Holt.

Beatrice: Now you are gonna piss me off darlin I didn’t lose that match it was that pathetic man Holt that got pinned not me.

I can see him startled like a bunny in headlights and it makes me smile a little as I stroke the flat side of the machete.

Dustin: I’m sorry Beatrice.

I raise a hand cutting him off.

Beatrice: Miss La Fay if you don’t mind.

I let out a little giggle inside, I love winding people up like this and I have him in my trap.

Dustin: Yes Miss La Fay, I am sorry for the insult I can get you a discount on that machete if you want.

Oh what deliciousness ripe for abuse, Betty you are right being evil can be so appetising. I let out a bigger grin on my face staring him dead in the eye seeing him let out a little gulp.

Beatrice: Ok Dustin how much a discount are we talking here?

Dustin: Oh I’m sorry Miss La Fay that's not my name, we were playing a game hang on.

He takes the sticker off his nametag revealing his real name underneath.

Beatrice: Seth huh a slightly better name, makes you sound really old though if you ask me.

I let out a chuckle which makes him recoil a little I guess it’s a bit intimidating while I am carrying a machete.

Seth: You know what Miss La Fay if you sign a picture for us for our wall you can have that for free.

I smile and laugh a little in my head oh this is perfect.

Beatrice: Throw in the mask and you have a deal.

Seth: Yes, Miss La Fay.

He walks over to the case taking out the Jason mask as I walk to the counter being followed by him I can feel his eyes on me the whole time making me smile as I place the weapon on the counter. Just before he gets too it himself taking a camera out from under the counter.

Beatrice: Ok hun I hope you appreciate this.

I strike a pose as he takes my picture and transfers it too the computer to print out handing me it oh it’s a good shot but I’m not going to tell him this.

Seth: Is it ok?

Beatrice: It will pass we guess.

I grab the pen from the table and sign it as he wraps up my purchases and putting them in a big bag.

Seth: Hope to see you back soon Miss La Fay.

Beatrice: Oh I bet you do darlin.

I grab the bag and spin around on the spot and skip out the door with a big smile on my face. I so much love to play with peoples mind it’s so much fun and that was way too easy an opportunity to pass up.

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Beatrice: Well it’s taken them long enough I’ve been here how long now and they finally get little ol me some interview time with what’s his face, you know that guy that no one remembers damn it can’t remember what’s his face. What you talking about Betty his name isn’t Darius don’t be silly.

I stare around the room and I see the whole VoW set up with the pictures on the walls and the camera and stuff and its completely void of people, who was I talking too?Oops I must have been talking to myself again I really need to learn how to use my inside voice. God where is this guy what’s his face it’s very rude to keep a lady waiting like this there isn’t even a person here to get me a coffee. I let out a sigh and think about standing up before I see the door open and in walks the guy, dressed in a pale blue suit, a pair of black smart shoes, a white shirt and a red tie.

Darius: Miss La Fay, nice to finally meet you...my name is Darius Yates, head VoW Interviewer.

Beatrice: Well hot dawg finally, yawl have been keeping me waiting for an entire.

I look at my wrist like I'm looking at a watch.

Beatrice: A whole five minutes what's his face I mean Darius. Shut up Betty I know you were right.

Darius: Are you...feeling okay Miss La Fay?

Beatrice: Well of course silly puddin. Are you well also this fine day?

Darius: I'm great thank you, very pumped for our biggest show of the year...it should be a classic.

Beatrice: Well of course ya are excited what's not to be excited about its a star studded event. BILLY NO ONE ASKED YOU! Also that's so rude, I'm sorry he said the bookers where idiots for putting me on the pre-show.

I can tell there is a little awkward silence so I give him a smile.

Beatrice: Shall we start?

Darius: Well I can assure you Miss La Fay, you may be on the Pre-Show, but you are involved in a pretty big match. But yes, indeed, once our camera's are rolling...we can begin...

Beatrice: Ok hun.

I watch him walk over and sit on the seat opposite from me and waits for the camera man to give him the signal to start as he counts down from five to one.

Darius: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this VoW exclusive interview with me, Darius Yates and joining me at this time is one of our newest acquisitions, Miss Beatrice La Fay. Thank you for joining me here this evening, Miss La Fay...

Beatrice: Well I say it’s a pleasure puddin, its my first official VoW interview and this is gonna be fun.

Darius: Indeed, so before we get into your big Pay-Per-View debut...I want to talk about your first couple of matches here if I may?

Beatrice: Well of course Darius fire away darlin.

Darius: Well first of all, you had a pretty good showing against Valerie Beasley in your debut match. Albeit you won under some rather questionable tactics, it was a victory nonetheless. So how did it feel to pick up your first victory in your debut, against someone who has been a staple in VoW for quite a while now?

Beatrice: Oh that was a great night for me it was so much fun to be out there in that ring again. but Darius what do you mean by questionable tactics?

Darius: Well I mean, you tried to rip the woman's top off when she had your arm in her submission. It's not exactly a very sportsperson like thing to do in my opinion.

Beatrice: Darius have ya ever been in a armbar its three or four of the thousand moves that that's available and it hurts, I was just trying to get some feeling into my arm to escape the move and it’s not my fault her top got in the way. If you ask me she needs a stronger bra.

Darius: Okay, fair enough. Moving onto your second match, you found yourself up against Dustin Holt and Ace Watson. That was where you introduced your mallet, Mr Smashy to the VoW faithful and thus, you took advantage of there being no rules in a Triple Threat and proceeded to use it along with hitting both men below the belt. Unfortunately, that wasn't your night that night...so how did it feel to lose your first match here in VoW?

Beatrice: What are you talking about puddin I didn't lose that match?

I let out a chuckle and a smile.

Beatrice: Dustin lost that match silly goose.

Darius: Well, you weren't pinned or made to submit...but you still didn't win, therefore you lost.

Beatrice: Silly boy I am still undefeated so therefore I didn't lose.

I chuckle again with a big wide grin on my face.

Beatrice: Of course the victory was stolen from me I had Dustin dead to rights out there.

Darius: Well anyway, now we move onto your big Pay-Per-View debut where you find yourself in a Quest for the Case qualifying match against Jamo, Katalina Star, Dustin Holt and VoW legend, Patrick Jones. How are you feeling going into such an important match so early on in your career?

Beatrice: I am a mixture of excited and not surprised clearly yawl lot in booking has realised the talent they have in their company I just wish they gave me better opponents for a challenge.

Darius: Well in all fairness Miss La Fay, Dustin Holt is the only person in this match you are familiar with and he did come close to defeating you several times in your match.

Beatrice: Oh please darlin the sane psycho has nothing on me, I know how hard he hits and I have felt a stiff breeze cause more damage.

Darius: But don't you think it's a bit much to downgrade each of your opponent’s abilities in the ring before even facing them?

Beatrice: Aint no downgrade hun its calling it as I see it, I mean look at my other opponents I'm facing Patrick the starfish, Marmaladeo, Sane Holt and The only one that may be able to touch me Hurricane Katrina Star who is as unlucky as New Orleans.

Darius: So do you honestly have no worries at all about having to face any of these Visionaries?

Beatrice: Look at it this way Darius we have Patrick the starfish who is a wet fart good guy, please who likes the good guys. Then you have Sane Holt who I've already talked about and you have Marmaladeo who wants to be a rattlesnake but comes off more like a right trouser snake if you know what I mean. Of course not forgetting about Katalina but seriously do you honestly think she can win with her record I mean come on cheerleader come domanatrix, sounds more like someone's fetish fuel than a wrestler.

Darius: Well, I guess I can't deny your confidence Miss La Fay. I wish you the best of luck going into this match and maybe the next time we meet, you'll be one of the participants in the Quest for the Case match at Heatstroke.

Beatrice: Well thank you By… I mean Darius sorry you remind me of someone I used to know anyway ill leave it on this message, life is a joke so if you don't laugh you may go crazy and remember.

I stand up and walk to stare into the camera.

Beatrice: Serial killers are people too if it wasn't for the voices I'd be just like you.

With a wink and a smile I skip out of the room humming too myself with a glow in my heart of excitement for the fight oh I can’t wait for it, the chaos is going to be through the roof and I am going to win and I know I am going to leave this place with my shot at the quest for the case and eventually well we never know where it may take me.