Post by Winter Pine on Jun 11, 2016 22:15:29 GMT -6
If I told someone I'm not proud of who I am sometimes, would they ever believe me? At this point, more than likely no, as much pain as I like to deliver to others I can understand why anyone that looks at Winter Pine will instantly think of her as a monster with no remorse. In some ways even I can't help but think that's all I am...and to tell you the truth, I think Winter Pine is a monster without question. However, that is where my mind tends to roam now days, with that thought of Winter Pine being a monster, being this fiend of terror and remorseless pain. Meanwhile...because of how much my life has changed, I wonder if that monster carries over to Veronica Pinelli.
I've been part of VoW for a good little while now. I believe it's been around 8 months now since I broke my way into this company, and in that 8 months I've done a lot more than I could have ever dreamed. My dealings with Trampy Jones are one thing, how I continue this task of decimating her mental stability to where it destroys her in every form imaginable, and with it all coming to an end here soon I feel like maybe I owe a lot of this change in my life to my connection and planning around this girl for the past few months. It revived my career to have such a rival that even though I know I have the psychological advantage, when it comes to physicality she may be one of my biggest tests I've ever dealt with. Stacy, for being the pile of sad trash she is, has something that rekindled the fire burning inside me that made me one of the most excelling people in this business.
All of that though...that is Winter...Veronica's matters come from another thing in my life that has changed. The placement of love...this weird emotion to me that I still don't feel like I 100% understand, it has played a major factor in me rediscovering Veronica. Ever since I have connected with Matthew, the lines between Winter and Veronica have felt more faded than they ever have. Ever since I had that thing happen to me all those years ago with that blonde whore, the thing a couple years later with that one guy I dated on a whim after moving away from that evil woman...things just always revolved around Winter and she became me in every sense.
Now days...Winter isn't around as much, and I think that has a lot to do with how loving Matthew has been to me. I can't say enough how great it feels being with someone who took the time to understand I've been through pain after endless pain when it's come to love, yet he still gave everything he could knowing he was more likely to fail. Part of me thinks Veronica came back because of him, part of me thinks it's because of his kids and that feeling of motherhood, something I never considered a reality any time soon, yet here I am with two kids I consider my own and a man that actually wants to be my ultimate supporter. I think ultimately, it's a little of both, and because of these big changes I have seen the old me return. A kind heart still existed in me, and to be honest it's weird. I don't see myself as some kind of role model, a great person, or even a true loving individual. But that's mostly because, I'm still Winter more than I am Veronica. The thoughts of anger and torment still haunt my mind more, the feeling of revenge still boils the blood in my veins, the psychological demon that I have come to be still finds ways to put the loving woman Veronica is in her place. Winter is my safety, Winter is my sanity, and in every way, I am still more Winter than anything. But, Veronica is getting stronger...overpowering some might say.
Before I even allow her to get to the point of wanting to take over though, I need to make sure I know WHO Veronica is. As for Winter...she'll never go down easy.
It's not usual I get a lot of days just to myself since moving in with Matthew, but with him taking the kids out today for a dentist appointment, I get to relax a bit and think over some things. Around this home, Veronica has herself marked clear in this home, but she still barely knows who she is. My talks with my own conscious have become so frequent recently, I just think I need to find someone to talk about who I am exactly. So I figure, why not turn to...dad.
A phone call away, that's what he always told me even after he and mom kicked me out of the house because of my want to be involved in a stupid career. It was more mom, but dad wasn't too happy for me either, I think in time he came to accept more though. Of all the men I ever had fuck me over in life, I admit I was a daddy's girl, meanwhile mom had a problem of slut-shaming me more often than not.
I take a deep breath as I pick up the phone and dial that oh so familiar number...but one I haven't dialed in nearly 3 years. What if he doesn't even pick up...what if he has turned just as bad as momma? What if-
"Pinelli residence...Anthony speaking, may I ask who's calling please?"
"D...Daddy?"
There's a brief pause on the other end of the phone, I honestly expect to just hear the dial tone in a second but instead, a response.
"V-Veronica? I-Is that you?"
"Yes...yes daddy it's me. I'm sorry it's been so long, but I promise your puppy has never forgotten about you."
"And I have never f-forgotten about you either, darling. I-It's so great to hear your voice again..."
That one got me, I could feel the tears coming but now I see them falling against the floor under me.
"I'm happy I'm giving you something you have missed daddy. It's...it's been interesting for me recently. I know this isn't the reason I called you, but I know you should know...daddy I'm engaged."
"E-Engaged? To whom? When did this happen?"
"Not too long ago, it's a guy though don't worry. I know you and momma got really mad at me back in school because of the girl thing. He is one of my co-workers, a very sweet man with two kids of his own."
"H-Honey, I can't speak for your mother as we haven't exactly talked about you at all really, as much as I have wanted too. But honestly, as long as you are happy...then that's all that matters. Tell me more about him, he has two children of his own you say?"
"Mhm, from a previous marriage, they are absolute sweethearts too. I know it's not much, but I know how much you wanted grandkids one day daddy, so I hope this counts until I decide to settle down more. But he is a real sweetheart, has a very nice home here in Florida, he used to be a cop in New York before becoming a wrestler. It's the first time I can say I really have someone to trust, I know how bad it was with me and dating in school, but this one is very different. You know I wouldn't have accepted that ring otherwise."
I can't help but want to ask about momma, but it scares me to even mention her...suck it up hun, you got this.
"So...momma hasn't asked about me at all?"
"She hasn't, because I haven't spoken to her in about two years myself. It seems like both of us have big news that we've kept from one another."
"Haven't...wait, daddy, you and momma...?"
"I'm afraid so, sweetheart. I don't want to make you feel like you are to blame when I say this, because it was her not being able to accept your ways. But, I never wanted to disown you...I was honestly completely okay with your lifestyle choices..."
He chokes up a little, his voice breaking and I start to do the same as I hear his words.
"...but your mother? She just couldn't accept your choices and eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. So I left her..."
"She...she didn't even went to say bye to me or tell you any message for the day I talked to you again?"
"I'm sorry, sweetie. You don't want to know what she said when I brought you up, trust me..."
"N-no, I do...please, I'm grown up enough to know."
"Sh-She said she doesn't have a daughter..."
"She...oh..."
That tear in my heart hearing that...fucking hell.
"So I'm not even good enough to be a daughter for my own blood mother. Great, just great daddy. That feels so fucking good to hear!"
Instantly, I break down crying in my chair, slowly slouching down onto the floor with tears rolling down my cheeks and onto my chest.
"Sweetheart. Your mother is just a fool who refuses to accept your choices in life because of how she sees the world, that's not your fault. Do you know what I used to see? And what I can tell has happened now? I saw a beautiful, sweet little girl that grew up into a smart, independent strong woman..."
I continue listening to his words, still upset over the fact my mother doesn't even want to know that I exist anymore.
"You are Veronica Estelle Pinelli, my only daughter...my only child...the light that brightened up my life...the final piece of the jigsaw that is my heart."
"Daddy, what qualities do I even possess that made me worthwhile as a daughter? Who is Veronica really? What did she ever do other than make mistakes? Why...why did she have to become her imaginary friend just to survive in this world?"
"Veronica, you were a lovely young girl who was such a sweet, kind, caring girl...but because you were unique in your own way, you weren't accepted and it made you feel weak, so you closed yourself away from the world and created your own friends, in your mind."
"Did I ever show a want to become stronger? Or was it only when I turned to my friends that I could feel strong?"
"Not at first, but I could see the fire in your eyes that you wanted to do just that. I tried to help as best I could, but you wouldn't even let me in...you thought the whole world was against you."
"Daddy, if only you knew...and you know, Winter is sorry for pushing you away. But she began seeing another man more than a father, another person who would betray me like the ones I tried to love. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry I forced myself to listen, but she has kept me safe and still does."
"That's fine, if you feel safe that way then great. Just make sure you keep control of her, okay? Do not allow her to consume you entirely. Make sure that Veronica will always exist, or you'll end up pushing away this new man and his children away from you...and I know you don't want to be alone for the rest of your life."
Dad saying that almost brings me to laughing as I finally begin to calm myself.
"I think that's kind of why I fell in love with him daddy. The funny thing about those 3 years, Winter did consume me, it's why I became so distant. But finding Matthew, him taking me in and loving me...Veronica has slowly returned and showed herself again. It's a big reason why I called today, because I want to make sure what I'm feeling is Veronica, and if it is her, making sure she is someone I want to keep around. I assure you daddy, Matthew will keep Veronica around, and Winter will still be protecting me too. She is the one who pays the bills for me after all."
"Well then this Matthew fellow certainly sounds like a keeper, perhaps I will have the opportunity to meet my future son in law in the future. If you've still got time for your old man?"
"I promise daddy, you'll meet him soon. I'm gonna talk to him about coming to see you soon or flying you out. And I really hope you'll be able to give me away whenever we do have our wedding. The great thing is, with you around, Nick and Chelsea will finally have a grandpa around to love."
"It would be my honor to give you away. And don't they have grandparents already? Or is that something I should wait to hear another time. Or is it a touchy subject? I apologize if I've stepped over a line..."
"No no daddy it's fine. I'm not sure about their other blood side, but Matthew lost his parents at a young age to a murder and was orphaned most of his life. It's...not a pretty story, something you and him will talk about most likely. I haven't told him much about you, but daddy, I bet he'd feel pretty great having a father figure for the first time in his life."
"I see, well I shall do my best, sweetheart."
"I know you will daddy...well, I'm sorry I made this all so emotional for you, but I do have to head off now. But, I promise my next phone call isn't gonna be 3 years, just promise me you'll be there for me."
"I will always be here for you..."
"And I'll always love you...thank you for helping me get to know Veronica again."
"Any time sweetheart, I'll look forward to hearing from you again soon, and I am certainly looking forward to seeing your face again, and your new fellow and my...grandchildren. I love you my pup, I never stopped...I hope you knew that."
"I love you too daddy...I'll never forget that."
I hang up the phone, slowly because it honestly did hurt to tell daddy goodbye. I needed that conversation so badly, I needed to hear all of that, the good parts and the bad. Now I know who Veronica is, and I know I can accept her. But I also know this and was reminded of this...Winter is around because Veronica needs a fighting force. For that reason alone...I must have them continue to coexist, and I trust they will. Daddy is right though in that Winter will drive people away more. The wolf is savage and cruel to all, even her loved ones...Veronica must find the way to stand up to her.
"Well well, look who got home just as Mommy was about to get worried!"
"We gots ice-cream from Daddy for having such good teef!"
Smiling, I lean down and take a small lick of Chelsea's treat, rubbing my stomach or rather my 'tummy' for the humor of it.
Chelsea smiles and acts all shy over the comment, like she always does. Just then, I feel a grip around my wrist and I look up at Matt who is staring into my eyes with a slight look of concern on his face.
The kids look up and nod before trotting off up the stairs to their rooms, and I stay stood in front of my fiancé a bit confused as his grip on my wrist feels rather tight.
"Everything is fine with me. But not everything is fine with you, is it?"
"Matthew...nobody hurt me I swear. It's actually a bit of happy tears more than anything. Before you guys came in, I actually got off the phone with my dad."
He seems to calm down a bit now, although I kind of liked how angry he did get over the thought I may have been hurt by someone. Shows me how much he cares about me.
"It was, for the most part at least. First time in 3 years we have spoken so...it was nice knowing he still loves me a lot. I sadly can't say much about my mother, but that's besides the point. I called him more so to help me find out more about what I was like before the pain in my life began to set in, and he helped a lot in getting me to remember who Veronica is...at least for the most part."
"That's great to hear, babe. I hope that I've been able to help you remember who Veronica is too, because I feel like I know exactly who Veronica is. She's my fiancé, she's the mother to my children...the woman I love more than anything in this world."
I chuckle to his response there, an almost déjà vu kind of feeling as it is nearly similar to what my dad said earlier to me in our conversation. Smiling, I lift my hand up against Matthew's face and kiss him softly.
"Matthew, you did so much more than just merely remind me of who Veronica was, you revived Veronica, you gave her life once more in my soul where for the longest time Winter was all I had. She allowed you to see the real me because you gave the heart I always needed in someone. I love you sweetheart, more than anything, and it's exactly why I want to be your wife, because you helped me regain my humanity. I can be more than a monster with you, and that to me is incredible."
"Well I'm glad I was able to revive the greatest woman I have ever known..."
"And that woman is blessed to have found you and your kids. She'll never forget or be able to truly repay what you three have done for her. She'll certainly try, but it's gonna take a lot in her mind to truly give you all what you deserve."
Slowly, the tears come back to my eyes once more as I hug tightly onto Matthew and rub my head against his chest.
"Just staying with me is more than enough to repay me...I truly mean that."
Matthew shares a kiss back with me as he walks me up the stairs and to the comfort of the two puppies I adore so much. Humanity...that is what Veronica is...she is the humanity, the simplest thing to say but it explains all I needed to be explained. Winter has the moments of humanity, but she's more monster, more fantasy, more imagination than reality. But...reality is gonna get hit with the surreal soon, for now I focus on love and care among my guy and my children. After all that ends though...I think it's time we visit our lair and set the stage for the final battle of the war on poison.
Just then I hear the front door open and I turn my attention towards it as my King enters the house along with my beautiful little pups. All three of them with an ice-cream in hand, licking away on them as Matt is carrying a few bags.
"Guess who's home!"
"Mommy! We're home!"
"I'm here too, Mommy!"
"Well well, look who got home just as Mommy was about to get worried!"
I jump up from my seated position in the floor, wiping my face against my shirt so I don't show my tears too much to the kids or Matthew. I walk over and kiss my two pups on the head, then lean up and kiss my man on the lips, remembering how loving he is and how Veronica is one lucky girl to find someone that cares so much.
"So what did the dentist say, all good on you two?"
"We gots ice-cream from Daddy for having such good teef!"
Chelsea raises her ice-cream up to me.
"Mine's stwawbewwy...wanna try?"
Smiling, I lean down and take a small lick of Chelsea's treat, rubbing my stomach or rather my 'tummy' for the humor of it.
"Mmm mmm mmm, you know Mommy loves strawberry so so much. It reminds her of how sweet her little princess is."
Chelsea smiles and acts all shy over the comment, like she always does. Just then, I feel a grip around my wrist and I look up at Matt who is staring into my eyes with a slight look of concern on his face.
"Kids...why don't you both go and play for a bit. Daddy needs to have a chat with Mommy."
The kids look up and nod before trotting off up the stairs to their rooms, and I stay stood in front of my fiancé a bit confused as his grip on my wrist feels rather tight.
"Is...is everything okay baby?"
"Everything is fine with me. But not everything is fine with you, is it?"
He can read me like a book. Either that or I didn't wipe my tears away very well.
"Don't try and hide it from me, V. Did someone hurt you? Because nobody fucks with my Queen!"
"Matthew...nobody hurt me I swear. It's actually a bit of happy tears more than anything. Before you guys came in, I actually got off the phone with my dad."
He seems to calm down a bit now, although I kind of liked how angry he did get over the thought I may have been hurt by someone. Shows me how much he cares about me.
"Your father? V...that's...awesome!"
"It was, for the most part at least. First time in 3 years we have spoken so...it was nice knowing he still loves me a lot. I sadly can't say much about my mother, but that's besides the point. I called him more so to help me find out more about what I was like before the pain in my life began to set in, and he helped a lot in getting me to remember who Veronica is...at least for the most part."
"That's great to hear, babe. I hope that I've been able to help you remember who Veronica is too, because I feel like I know exactly who Veronica is. She's my fiancé, she's the mother to my children...the woman I love more than anything in this world."
I chuckle to his response there, an almost déjà vu kind of feeling as it is nearly similar to what my dad said earlier to me in our conversation. Smiling, I lift my hand up against Matthew's face and kiss him softly.
"Matthew, you did so much more than just merely remind me of who Veronica was, you revived Veronica, you gave her life once more in my soul where for the longest time Winter was all I had. She allowed you to see the real me because you gave the heart I always needed in someone. I love you sweetheart, more than anything, and it's exactly why I want to be your wife, because you helped me regain my humanity. I can be more than a monster with you, and that to me is incredible."
"Well I'm glad I was able to revive the greatest woman I have ever known..."
"And that woman is blessed to have found you and your kids. She'll never forget or be able to truly repay what you three have done for her. She'll certainly try, but it's gonna take a lot in her mind to truly give you all what you deserve."
Slowly, the tears come back to my eyes once more as I hug tightly onto Matthew and rub my head against his chest.
"Just staying with me is more than enough to repay me...I truly mean that."
Matthew shares a kiss back with me as he walks me up the stairs and to the comfort of the two puppies I adore so much. Humanity...that is what Veronica is...she is the humanity, the simplest thing to say but it explains all I needed to be explained. Winter has the moments of humanity, but she's more monster, more fantasy, more imagination than reality. But...reality is gonna get hit with the surreal soon, for now I focus on love and care among my guy and my children. After all that ends though...I think it's time we visit our lair and set the stage for the final battle of the war on poison.
*RECORDING
The camera allows the area around me come into view, rather static-like but that's my fault for not buying newer equipment for my messages I guess. It's rare I allow access into my chamber of preparation, the pale stone walls covered in chains and cobwebs, the floor covered in dust and traces of what is probably my own blood. I sit silently in front of the camera, smiling deviously as I slowly lift my head, my piercing grey eyes glaring into the lens.
"Good evening children, my it's been a good while has it not? Apologies on my end for being so absent as of late, some things have been rather hectic for Ms. Pine recently, but fear not as in the meantime I've found a new story to share with my pups. Tonight I bring to you, The Tramp Without Life."
I slowly lift up a tattered notebook to the camera, opening it and licking my finger as to flip along the pages easier.
"Long ago, there lived a woman of pure evil named Stacy Marie Jones. Now I could go into detail how pathetic her life was, from her emo personality to her ways of going about hurting the ones she loved, but I think it's better I focus on a tale that defines everything Stacy Jones is. One day, poor Stacy was walking along in the woods of fear when she came across an old man. Seeing her miserable face, the old man laughed and offered her all the riches in the world in exchange for whatever pain her heart held that moment. Thinking that only the thought of a wolf being better than her was what hurt her heart, the tramp quickly agreed and the old man promised to return in three years. But when young Stacy returned home, she found her true love Katie in the arms of another woman."
I grin as I turn the page slowly, savoring the moment more as I see what is written next.
"When the old man returned, the tramp's puppy girl ran off with this new woman, vowing to never love her old flame again, sighting her as another mistake just as everyone else saw her in her life. Frustrated, Stacy demanded the old man rekindle the relationship with her love. But Katie fought off the tricks, deciding to seal her new way of life and her new woman, who was just as emo but at least accepted her tramp nature, by fucking her new little whore mate. Stacy was enraged and saddened by all this, ordering the old man to end her life, but this time the old man shook his head, for he said he was unable to kill something that already had a heart of death. Unsurprisingly, Stacy decided to leave home after this, grab a bottle of pills and booze, and say "If I can't be killed by man, I shall end my life myself!" But poor Stacy, she couldn't even do that right, just like everything else in her life. She failed...again...and again...each attempt more pointless than the next. The cutting got deeper, she aimed for the kill, but she chickened out each time."
No longer needing the book, I throw it to the side and stare back to the camera.
"Poor Stacy, although your life continues to falter, you still fail at being a failure. You can't do anything right, and you beg someone to end it all but nobody wants to ever truly help your dying soul. However, Stacy, you finally have a friend. Someone willing to end the pain, someone who knows she is what you crave. I am your cure Stacy, I have been the cure of VoW for so long, and I thought I would have to be the one to cure this company of you. But it turns out, I just have to cure YOU of you. It all makes sense, kill the failure to save the failure. That is why we are lead to Fate of the Gods, that is why I was told a steel cage is where we end our war, that is why I do all this to you. Because, to make you fail, I have to save you by killing your biggest falter, which is yourself."
Laughter fills my lungs and expels itself through my mouth, and slowly I lean forward a nudge against the lens with my nose.
"It's okay, don't worry Stacy. The story isn't all as bad as you may think I'm making it out to be. This war has been a welcomed one for Winter Pine, don't feel like everything you have done is a failure. Your biggest accomplishment was reminding me who I am inside, what I was truly capable of doing to people. You saved me Stacy Jones, and for that I thank you, and what better way to thank you than to end you, to save you, to save this company from you. I finally get to solidify myself among the GODS, where I have always stood. I make you realize at this event that you were never destined to win the war, you were only the pawn of Satan that drove me to prevail and show the world I am their savior!"
I lean back once more, smiling softly and rubbing my hand through my hair.
"It's true what I say Stacy. And it's true the story finally ends here. I need not worry myself with you after this, if our paths cross again, they will, but my main objective will be completed once Fate of the Gods ends. And I'll even spoil it for you Stacy...the story ends as it always has for you. Everyone abandons you again as they see you fall to the true queen of darkness. They all watch your body fail, your mind fail, and your organs stop working as you lay encased in that ring among the steel, crying for someone to save you. One Frostbite, one stomp across your skull, one...two...three. The pain ends, the worry ends...you'll see that bright light for one moment, then blackness hits, the fire burns your soul, and hell takes it's next demon for good. And finally, as the story always goes, they will all live...happily...ever...after. Sweet dreams Stacy, but the nightmares will rule. Winter Pine reigns, the GODS always beat fate."
The laughter returns to my lungs once more as I grab hold of the camera and pull it slowly to the dirt-covered floor before shutting the device off and laying it aside. A nice little piece, simple and symbolic, a vintage piece of mine I feel. I don't normally feel so confident in my physical ability, but come Fate of the Gods, Winter takes hold of the Alpha power and will decimate Stacy Jones.
Veronica may be the hold on my humanity, but the monsters and animals will be the only things that exist come the time I step foot in the four sides of steel. Winter will arrive, Winter will rise, Winter will prevail.
The laughter returns to my lungs once more as I grab hold of the camera and pull it slowly to the dirt-covered floor before shutting the device off and laying it aside. A nice little piece, simple and symbolic, a vintage piece of mine I feel. I don't normally feel so confident in my physical ability, but come Fate of the Gods, Winter takes hold of the Alpha power and will decimate Stacy Jones.
Veronica may be the hold on my humanity, but the monsters and animals will be the only things that exist come the time I step foot in the four sides of steel. Winter will arrive, Winter will rise, Winter will prevail.
