Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2016 18:55:14 GMT -6
So I finally figured that it was time for me to start getting back out into the world to try and find a new girlfriend. I wouldn’t say that I’m completely over Katie just yet, but as the old saying goes, time heals all wounds and I do feel a lot better than I used too regarding the whole situation.
It feels weird being single again, and I’m really fucking nervous about this date for several reasons. To start with, I haven’t been on a date like this since my relationship with Tayla ended before I first started going out with Katie...and secondly, that date was a huge disaster and I had to get Seifer to call me to pretend our mother had been rushed to hospital just so I could get the Hell out of there.
Maybe I’m over-thinking this too much, maybe this girl might be perfect for me, I don’t know. Guess I’ll just have to wait and see...
I’m sitting here at a table in the Yarusso Bros Italian Restaurant, awaiting the arrival of my date. Dressed in a pair of black thick high heeled shoes, a black and white striped sleeveless cat suit type outfit (because I can’t stand wearing dresses) a matching blazer and a black Panama Jack hat, I peruse over the menu whilst waiting.
Hearing the door to the restaurant open, I look up and see a curly haired brunette dressed in a bright pink dress and white high-heeled shoes. I recognize her from her profile picture on the dating website so I raise my arm and wave to get her attention and she spots me.
As she gets closer, I spot that she’s caked in fake tan, looking like a fucking Oompa Loompa and instantly I think to myself, great, she’s going to be one of those dumb bimbos who can’t tell the difference between a chocolate bar and an armbar.
“Howdy there, sweetie...”
Oh great! She’s got that stereotypical annoying Southern accent as well. No offence to any woman with that kind of accent, but I just cannot stand it. However, I pull through by standing to my feet and we kiss on both cheeks before we both sit down. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I think it’s gonna be, she may actually be an intelligent woman.
“Y’know...I had no idea they had Indian restaurants here...”
Sweet Jesus, someone kill me now.
“Italian, actually. This in an Italian restaurant...”
She waves her hand and smirks.
“They all the same to me anyway, sweetie...”
And she’s racist too! This is going to be fan-fucking-tastic!
“So then, it’s nice to meet you, my name’s Stacy Jones, I’m originally from New York. I’m a mother of two and I’m a professional wrestler...”
“Well it sure is nice to meet ya, Sarah. Name's Carla and I’m from Austin, Texas. I’m a mother too as a matter of fact, five kids to my name...and I do a little strippin' for work myself.”
Oh for the love of pug! Nothing against strippers but this woman is just your stereotypical stripper who is just so uneducated. I’ve spoken with intelligent strippers before, so I know not to judge them on their lifestyle choice, but this woman here is taking the biscuit! And did she call me Sarah?
“Wow, five kids? Must be difficult taking care of them all on a stripper salary.”
“Ah nah, they all live with their deddys...I couldn’t care for youngins myself, wouldn’t know what the Hell to do with 'em...y’know what I’m sayin’?”
She lets out a shriek of laughter as I just stare at her with a vacant expression on my face. How the fuck did I end up going out on a date with this bitch? She doesn’t even bother looking after her kids that she’s had with several men because she can’t keep her fucking legs closed.
I let out a short, fake laugh and just nod at her stupid comment, as much as I just want to throttle this stupid fucking whore.
“Well then, I better go to the little ladies room before I have an accident...”
Standing to her feet, still laughing at herself, she disappears towards the bathroom as I just let my head drop and it hits the table. I softly and repeatedly hit my head, wondering why the Hell a woman like that exists in this world, and why of all people did I have to suffer going out on a date with her.
“This is a disaster...”
"You sure know how to pick them, don't ya Stace?"
Glancing up, I see the black-haired girl that was sitting a few tables over from us. Wait a second? I know that blonde peeking through and that face from anywhere! Zelda! Little butt must have been spying on my date!
“Zel?!?! What the Hell are you doing here?!?!”
"I...kinda snuck on your phone the other day and saw the messages you had with this girl. My bad date senses went off and I thought maybe I'd spy on you and make sure nothing bad happened. I know, invasion of privacy, I'm a bad friend, I'm sorry..."
She moves from her original position and sits down at the table opposite me and looks down, obviously feeling ashamed for prying into my business. A small smile grows on my face as I place my hand onto hers.
“Hey, you’re just looking out for me to make sure I don’t get hurt, and that sure as Hell doesn’t make you a bad friend at all, I appreciate your concern.”
"R-Really? Well...you know, I'm sorry this date isn't going so good for you...you deserve so much better Stacy."
I shrug as I begin to play with my fingers a bit.
“What can I say...I can’t always expect everyone I go out on a date with to be perfect like Katie...Zo...or you...”
Zel begins to blush a little as she shrugs.
"Oh hush, I'm not perfect. I wouldn't make a good date either...I'd probably be just as bad as that Texas bimbo."
“Pfft! Don’t be stupid, Zel, of course you’d make a good date! And as for being as bad as that woman? Zel, did you see and hear her? She’s unattractive, dumb, racist and is a terrible mother! You’re the complete opposite to all of those things...”
"Hah! May not be racist, but not being good enough to keep Tyler around for Elena makes me kind of dumb and a terrible mother. Plus the stretch marks from pregnancy don't do me much justice, I have nothing compared to a lot of you girls..."
Poor Zel Zel, she’s too hard on herself sometimes, she may never ever see herself as being a great mother and an amazing woman, but to me she will always be that. Just as I’m about to retort, our attention is diverted by a deliberate attention seeking cough and we look in the direction it came from to find Carla standing there with her arms crossed, glaring at Zel.
“Excuse me, blondie! This is my date, not yours! So why don’t you get your uggo ass outta here and go bother someone else!”
Oh...oh no she just fucked up bad...I only say that because right as she finished, I look over and see that spark in Zel's eyes that she gets when she is really upset about something.
"Pardon me, Snooka Loompa, but I'd like to ask you tone your ass down a bit while I talk with my...with...with my ex-girlfriend here. I haven't seen her in a long time and I was just trying to see if she was doing okay. Hate to see she has lowered her standards so much after all these years, but hey, as long as she is enjoying herself. Which from the frown I saw after you left the table earlier, she doesn't seem to be enjoying this at all."
She scoffs, placing her hands on her hips and tilting her head to the side. If she keeps insulting Zel like this, she won’t just have to deal with her.
“I’ll have you know, bitch...that I am an absolute catch on a date! Your ex here is probably not enjoying herself because you’re here, ruining our date! You’ve had your shot...now beat it...before I beat your sorry ass all over this place!”
"Oh, the stripper farm girl is trying to act all tough now! I bet you haven't even gotten a legit kiss from Stacy yet, your fake tan probably caked up your lips so much you can't even give a proper one."
I can’t believe this is going on right now, I just want it to be over, I just want to go home. This isn’t what I wanted from this, I’m trying to move on with my life and this is just the complete opposite.
“We’ve only just met! Once Sarah realizes how much of a catch I am, she’ll be all over me! Just you wait!”
"Come on sweetie, it's so simple, Stacy loves a girl who can kiss her quickly! Damn...guess I'll have to teach your Oompa date a lesson, Stace!"
What is Zel...so without any kind of warning, Zelda hops up from the table and slides closer to me, and grabs onto my cheeks with her hand and...w-wait, she's...
"Pucker up, beautiful."
She then leans in quickly, not giving me a chance to retort, and begins kissing me right in front of my date.
“What the Hell?!?! You bitch! Get your damn hands off of her!”
Carla pulls Zelda off of me and gets ready to slap her across the face, however I quickly get up and grab hold of her wrist and squeeze it tightly.
“Don’t you fucking dare touch her!”
Letting go and pushing her back a little, I put my arm around Zel, glaring at Carla.
“Carla, you are one of the worst human beings in the world! You’re racist...you’re a bad mother...and my God are you stupid!”
Using my free arm, I point to Zel.
“This woman right here is the nicest, kindest, sweetest person I know! She is someone that women all over the fucking world should aspire to be like! If there were more people in this world like this woman, then it’d be a better place!”
I feel my blood boiling right now, I still can’t believe this bitch tried to slap my best friend!
“You don’t deserve to have someone like me as your girlfriend! Oh and by the way, it’s Stacy! Not fucking Sarah!”
Turning to my bestie as Carla looks on shocked, I smile at her.
“C’mon Zel...let’s get out of here...”
Both of us then turn around and begin to make our way out of the restaurant, leaving Carla alone, dumbfounded over what just transpired as we exit the establishment.
"Damn Stacy...nice one in there!"
Removing my arm from around her, I walk forward a little in front of her as she stops. My hands on my hips as I turn to her, a slightly annoyed look on my face.
“What the Hell was that all about, Zel?!?!”
"What was what about, Stace? Was it something I said?"
I look up to the sky and shake my head a little before turning my attention back to my friend.
“You kissed me!”
"Oh yeah, that...I'm s-sorry Stacy, I was just getting into character is all. Plus I knew if I did that she would try something, I was ready to deck her, I just needed an excuse."
Tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes as I stroke my hands through the ends of my hair.
“Zel, as much as I appreciate you stepping in for me to save me from that awful date...I’m trying to move on from Katie here! It’s been so fucking hard for me to do that...and I know you’re trying to move on from Tyler as well, and I will fully support you and be there for you whenever you need me, but you can’t just do shit like that!”
"Stacy..."
Just like that, Zelda begins crying too as she pulls off the black wig she was wearing.
"...now you see why I think I'm an idiot. I knew I shouldn't have stuck my nose in this...I...I..."
Seeing her cry, I honestly can’t stay mad at her and I quickly wrap my arms around her in a hug.
“It’s...it’s okay, honey...I’m sorry for yelling at you. Plus, in all honesty...the kiss was...kinda nice...”
"Like a kiss from me makes up for anything...I ruined your date..."
I snort, chuckling a little.
“Honey, that date was ruined the moment that stupid bitch opened her mouth.”
"But...b-but..."
Breaking away from the hug, I suddenly lock lips with her myself before moving back after a few moments and smiling.
“It’s fine, Zel...now c’mon...let’s go get take-out and we’ll watch some cheesy movies back at the hotel to help make us feel better.”
Zelda places her hand up and rubs at her lips, blushing bright red as she hugs close to me.
"I'd like that...you're the best friend in the world, Stacy."
“Ditto.”
The two of us then head off arm in arm down the street to find a place that does take-out food.
Well that was an absolute disaster of a date. But thanks to my best friend, at least it ended well. I’m so lucky to have an amazing friend who looks out for me and cares enough for me to make sure that I find someone who is perfect for me.
Hopefully I can do the same thing for her...
