Glad You Aren't Here

The scene opens to a beautiful shot of the city from a penthouse suite in an undisclosed city. I’m dressed in my dark tracksuit pants and Spider-Man pyjama top with a cap on backwards, reclining in a soft leather chair, enjoying the view. I do a double-take at the camera, sarcastically implying I wasn’t aware I was being filmed - even though I’m the one holding it.

“Oh, hello,” I smirk. “Didn’t see you there! Welcome to my penthouse suite. I’m just chilling out, taking it easy, enjoying a breathtaking view…” I pan the camera around for another shot. “The camera surely doesn’t do it justice, guys.”

I bring the camera back to me, resting it on the table beside me so I can open up a bag of Lay’s.

“Why am I on vacation, you may be asking?” I take a chip out of the bag, place it into my mouth and immediately spit it back into the bag. “Oh my god, what the hell even is this?! You Americans eat this crap?!” I toss the bag at the opposite wall, where it explodes on impact out of frame; I take a huge sip of water to get the revolting taste out of my mouth, and quietly mumble, “Smith’s are way better.”

“Where was I? Oh, yeah… Why am I on vacation? The answer’s very simple - I deserve it. I’ve been through hell since I returned in March, and I’ve earned my break.” I lift the I4NI Championship belt into frame. “I went through hell to rescue this - yes, rescue this - from that drugged up psychopath, Heath Williams!”

I rest the title belt comfortably on my shoulder and reach for a Granny Smith apple. Taking a small bite, I continue, “I went through a grueling match with Xcel Champion Constance Chapin - in which again, I emerged victorious. I’ve been on an absolute tear lately in VoW; actually, I don’t recall ever actually suffering a loss since I returned! See, the thing is, as someone who’s won match after match against top opponent after top opponent, I’ve become quite the commodity in the wrestling world. I’ve had promotions all over the world contacting me, practically begging me to sign with them, because they know I’m going to draw the big bucks. They know that they can put my face on their pay-per-view’s poster, and tickets will be selling like hot cakes.

But, I’ve been politely turning them down. Typically, competitors signed to a VoW contract are able to compete for other promotions - and while that’s true in my case as well, I’ve never been one to do that. I mean, aside from one-off appearances for other companies - companies who paid out a ton of money to have me wrestle on their show - I’ve not signed to another wrestling federation since I became a VoW Visionary.”

I take a couple more bites of the apple before tossing it aside.

“I signed a year-long VoW contract on July 12, 2015. Because I have this…” I motion to the title. “...I agreed to sign a contract extension that covers me until Heatstroke on the 18th of August.” I pause momentarily, glancing up at the ceiling. “But, you know… I don’t think I’ll be staying with the company beyond that. I’ve had offers from companies in the UK and Japan who are willing to pay me a lot more money to sign exclusive deals to them. And I’ve gotta admit, they’re very tempting deals. I have no problem leaving the United States to wrestle elsewhere - I can’t stand this screwed-up country anyway!

VoW’s gonna have to start coughing up the big bucks if they wanna reap the benefits of my god-given talent. I look at VoW and the way it’s being run, and I don’t feel encouraged. I see people like Casanova English and Ryder Blade in the main event of the company’s biggest show of the year, while I’m forced to open that very same show! Kincaid - yes, Kincaid - he defeated Casanova English earlier in the year. Constance Chapin; she ended Ryder Blade’s Xcel Title reign.

But, you know what? I beat Constance Chapin! I beat Kincaid! That means I’m better than Ryder Blade, and I’m better than Casanova English! I should be promoted by this company in the same damn way they are! I should be getting paid just as much as them - if not, more! I’m an asset to Visionaries of Wrestling! I’m the freakin’ asset! And the people who call the shots around here are too stupid to see that!”

I notice my face is turning crimson, and I ball my fist to calm down.

“This kind of stress isn’t good for my health. It’s exactly why I needed this break. Between that, and trying to get away from that walking disease, Heath Williams… He just can’t accept that he lost, can he? Now he wants to come back and play with boxes? That’s fine. He announced he’ll be back at Breakthrough #48, and I’m sure all you fans are super excited about it - but, I’m not gonna be there. I’ll be getting a massage from a lovely young lady here at the hotel as Breakthrough goes on the air, as a matter of fact. Heath wants to continue coming back like a cockroach that just won’t die; he lives to piss me off, and I--”

I stop myself, bring my hand to my face out of frustration.

“You know what? Get out. Just, get the hell out of my room.”