You Thought You'd Seen the Last of Me~

I'm peeling the skin off my face
Cuz I really hate being safe
The 'NormalS', they make me afraid
The 'CrazieS', they make me feel sane...

Now I'll take a bow and throw a coin in your tipped hat... as you welcome me back.

Buy yourself some popcorn, cuz shit's about to get 'unreal'. A trip down memory lane reminds us when the word 'legend' rolled effortlessly off my tongue like a snowball down a hill; gathering more and more bullshit until eventually kersplat, and there goes Elsky into a wall. She stumbles back and falls down a rabbit hole, and everyone wonders where Alice went. Yet life goes on, min venn. Things keep a-rollin'. And the world spins and spins, around and around and... some get dizzy. Earth sickness, if you will. They feel it down to to their toes...

Some are more aware of this feeling; of their surroundings. The know-how and what-when-where, and sometimes even why. A sixth sense or the sense of something greater in this silly lil plane of existence. Call it faith, call it fate, call it a 'gut feeling'... whatever the name, the concept's the same-- we're not alone. We're never alone. Even when you lock yourself in your room, feeling the weight of everything dragging you further and further into your own miserable solitude?

You're not alone.

May it be the voices in your head, deities, or family and friends... you come to realize, after an interstellar journey through the space occupying your mind... that life's too short to play the 'loner', the 'manic-depressive', or the 'tragic villain'. Those masks just don't cut it. Take those scissors to your brain and snip out the part that's telling you that things can't move forward because the Earth. Is. Still. Spinning. And if our planet's still moving on, so can you.

. . .

So can I.





Listen, listen... a clink of a glass and the muffled laughter of people dressed in costumes reminiscent of a circus or carnival or some weird shit like that. They chatter about the building they're occupying, about Baltimore in all it's dreary glory, and of course about this little event. A social gathering with a 'show' later on. We currently occupied the upstairs lounge in a theatre for 'Everyman' (see what I did there?), where cocktails tailored to the current showing were being downed like wieners at a hotdog eating contest (or porno, depending on what kinda meat we're talking).

Peeking through the curtain of this room, where at least three dozen were intermingling, I adjusted the colorful, musical mask adorning my face; a beautifully sculpted costume piece at that, purple at the center with blues at the nose-piece, a bit of citrine at the upper corners, and musical notes within a light gold at the bottom portions... with a darker gold trim lining the eyes and making abstract little swirls all around.

To say I was dressed the part would be an understatement; in full ringmaster attire (though a navy blue, similar to that on my mask), with added frills and a mini top hat. Two lines trailed from either side of my mouth down my chin. Besides that bit, all those behind the curtain wore corresponding outfits. Those in charge of lighting and props, and naturally my assistants in this show!

"Visions under the stars..."

Dropping my hand from the curtain as this soft yet cold tone sliced through the air, I twirled on my heel and did a lil curtsy toward the two women now in front of me. Oh no, neither has changed this time (companions come and go for me, I know). First you have an adorably dressed lil pixie, or clown I suppose, with black diamonds painted over her eyes, white covering the rest of her face. Her blonde braids were piled atop her head in a messy yet somehow purposeful way. And of course a frilled clownish outfit in white and small bits of red splashed throughout.

"Say wut?" I questioned, slowly straightening as my companion and partner (both in crime and in the bedroom) looked up from her phone. J.B... the 5 foot nothin' blonde with looks so hot she melts steel beams and baby blues that pierce through the toughest terrain... held up her cell to me.

"That's what this says..."

"Oh!" Cue realization, "The event! I mean, the other event! The wrasslin' one!"

"Isn't that basically the point of you being here?" A new voice piped up, and I swiveled toward it with a grin. Speaking of hot, too bad this chica's as straight as a flagpole on a sunny summer day cuz god dayum! Dark yet shimmering hair and pale eyes the color of the ocean, with a smile that lights up this whole damn building? Who knew such a sultry vixen would hang out with a loon like me.

"Thea! Nice of you to speak up! I liiike the outfit ya picked out."

Thea Zenos; much taller, much nicer young woman with a gentle demeanor but looks that could (quite possibly literally) kill. She donned a stereotypical vintage carnival outfit, suspenders and white pork pie hat included. And it fit well. Very well. I also noticed dark lines trailing from one of her eyes in a very clockwork orange-esque fashion. My grin widened as the raven-haired beauty adjusted her bright red bowtie and smirked at me.

"I didn't want to go too over-the-top," she paused, then waved all that off, "Anyway... as I was saying, the entire point of these shows is to-"

"Make a point!" Abruptly, my cheery grin suddenly twisted into a darker one as my hired announcer began his introduction, and I spoke in a more foreboding tone, "As my favorite clown once said... it's not about money or about victory... it's about sending... a message."

"The one and only, our Sirkusdirektør herself... ELSKERINNE!!!"

The audience politely applauded as suddenly a strange mix of carnival music and dubstep started thumping out of the speakers in the corners of the room. The lights flashed brightly once, then as the song picked up they trailed around the room with a mix of blues and purples, illuminating the curious crowd. Finally these small strobes landed in the middle of the stage to illuminate your's truly... that music ending as abruptly as it'd started. I stood there, still, in an awkward position that resembled that of a puppet on strings. Cue J.B strolling casually on stage (her step not as peppy as I'd hoped but at least she was getting involved...). She held the control bar (in the shape of a bedazzled cross) and strings, stepping to the far side of the stage and holding this out...

"Come one, come all!" And there was Thea, putting on a show like I knew she would. She sauntered onto the stage like a woman on a mission, twirling a short cane that matched the glittery cross J.B held. "Welcome to our Marionette Show!"

The crowd began whispering in confusion, as J.B glanced over at me and slowly moved the control bars. As she did this, I moved flimsily into a curtsy position. Thea paced in front of me, snatching the nearest Carousal Cocktail (our themed drink) and putting it to my lips, having me down it quickly.

"Sorry, I was parched." Her lips twitched upward as I mouthed what she was saying. It was probably the corniest display you could ever imagine. "Thank you for coming, ladies, gents, and those who are undecided! We're here to entertain and spread the word!"

"What word is that?" J.B questioned in a bored tone, and Thea frowned slightly toward her, but kept up her act. 

"Now that is a good question! How about I leave it to the living dummy?"

"Dummy? I resemble that remark!" I piped up, garnering a couple sympathy laughs, as I only moved when J.B finally straightened her control bars.

Standing still, I gazed out into the crowd. A lot of them had really well put together costumes. But one in particular, seemingly louder in color than everyone else's, stood out. A woman, not too tall in stature, sat in the back... eyes trained on me. At least, from what I could tell. She was boasting a big, bright tutu of teal and plum with a glittery top and fishnets over her legs. Her jet black hair was piled atop her head in almost Victorian-style fashion, bangs sweeping over eyes that were concealed with a cat-like mask, sequins and the works, that matched the rest of her outfit beautifully. A strange wave of emotion (one I couldn't quite place) moved over me before I broke from my daze at J.B's annoyed cough.

"YOU!" I spit out, startling some in attendance before I lowered my tone, "... may be wondering why we're here! Three girls putting on a show that seems a bit queer! Well that's all I've ever done! All I've ever been! A show! A comedy full of sin! It's funny, right? So where are your smiles?!"

My voice got shrill there, before I giggled and took it down a notch (or two... or six), "This might take a while. You may be wondering what the point is! No jokes, no acts, no goofy tricks? You may be wondering what's to come of this! You may be wondering why there's popcorn where all of you sit!"

That made the crowd halt their confused stares to look at that tables, which of course were empty. But when they looked back to the stage... multicolored popcorn was covering it. Random acts of snackage. The grin went dark once again. "You may be wondering... when the show begins. Now I see those cameras, I see those expressions... word of mouth, the internet... heed my words, kids, here's a lesson! You thought you'd seen the last of me! Of lil old... Elkerinne?"

"The show starts now, a word of advice..." Thea murmured, twirling her cane into the air and catching it on one finger, "I'd listen well, it could change your life."

Dropping my act, I mockingly applauded Thea for her rhyme as she continued balancing her cane and eyeballing me. After a moment, I cleared my throat and looked back out toward the crowd, "I've gotta joke for ya. Why won't cannibals eat clowns? .... they taste funny!"

Ba-dum-tss?

"W-what's the gooey red stuff between the circus elephant's toes?" J.B spoke up, and I looked over at her curiously as she finished the joke, "... slow clowns."

"That's horrible!" I cried in disgust, and the smaller blonde scowled at me. The crowd seemed semi-amused by our antics.

"Right, and c-cannibals are definitely rated PG."

"Yeah. Parental Guidance. As in, parents guide your kids away from Carl the Cannibal next door."

"Neighborhoods seem like a random place for a cannibal..."

"You never know who, or what, you might find where." I pointed out casually, studying my glittery nails, "Cannibals in the cul-de-sac, cultists in the wrestling company... I mean, where else would you find 'monsters' or people seeking 'retribution' or 'chaos'... than a place specially designed for sports entertainment? Am I right?"

A few people in the crowd snickered, obviously wrasslin' fans themselves. I smirked and nodded toward J.B, who rolled her eyes and 'turned me' to face these people...

"VoW... Visionaries of Wrestling. Let's break it apart, shall we? A Visionary is someone with an original, unique plan for the future! Something not said or done! Of is a preposition. Wrestling... there's the ticket. Putting aside the fact that the industry has basically become the Bold and the Bastards now, a soap opera full of assholes who're trying to either gain power or control through fear or manipulation... yeeeah, that's the 'vision', now."

"What have things dissolved into..." Thea shook her head in dismay as I continued in an amused tone...

"Wrasslin'. Lockin' up and throwing down. Shoulders to the mat and wham bam, ty ma'am! Man would Sethy-poo be proud."

"Shh, you can't name-drop."

"Right, right sorry." Clearing my throat loudly, I eyeballed J.B again... who was getting more and more aggravated as she moved the control beams. I continued as my cheery tone had now fully returned, "How fitting is it... at Fifty Shades of Breakthrough... where there'll be, apparently, 'visions under the stars'... your's truly makes her triumphant return! Some of you know me, others should get to know me! I'm a bit... batty... but hey, the best people are!"

I threw my arms out on my own, a cocky expression painting it's way upon my face, "This is the show! Tune in every week! It'll be posted on the interwebz for allll to see! Where I take apart my opponents and show them what crazy truly means! Is sanity overrated... or is that just me?"

"You're overrated?" Thea snickered, trying to catch my mistake, but I shrugged a shoulder.

"Probably." Trailing that gaze back out at the crowd, I put two fingers up into a V formation, placing it over my eye. "We'll tell a story, of vices and devices they have or will use, good or bad... just silly words and verbiage, it's all in good fun, after all. But no worries! There's no bitter end, if my life depends on it. A smile a day could keep the razor away. A kind word could open the gates to a new world. So those villains and monsters, the faux crazies and the sane... the bitter loners who won't give you the time of day? Leave them to their universe and welcome to mine! Let's have a tea party, let's start a vision. Hearts and minds? Intertwined."

"Booo."

"Shaddup J.B." I hissed, stomping a bare foot on the stage. She lifted an eyebrow.

"Sooo corny. At least say someth-thing cool." The smaller woman stuck out her lower lip in a pout, the bewildered crowd still staring... like it was a trainwreck that they just couldn't look away from. I ignored J.B's rude remark and swiftly started up again!

"First on our list of evil clowns!" I put my hand out, and with an exasperated sigh my smaller accomplice sulked over and slapped a rolled up piece of parchment into my hand. Dramatically unraveling it, I glanced out into the crowd again to see that woman still sitting there in the back, hands placed elegantly in her lap as she continued to stare. Finishing tearing the parchment apart (I'm impatient), I noticed the slightest hint of one side of that woman's mouth twitch upward and I clenched my jaw, looking down at the name (drawn in shitty script)...

"Oh... my favorite sideshow..."

My companions shared a look, knowing full-well what I'd done. But I didn't know what they had...

"You talk about m-monsters. About all th-the little demons running amok." J.B suddenly started up, moving into the spotlight to stand next to me, eyes locked onto my blank expression... the crowd still believing this to be a part of the act, "You fail to remember that there are victims here as well..."

"WRONG." I suddenly exclaimed in the loudest, most deadpan tone you could imagine. It seemed to even startle some of the crowd again as I slowly turned the parchment to reveal the name.



"This name is an antonym for 'victim'. I would know. Mind you, some stories should never be told," my fists tightened on that paper, eyes narrowing, as a different part of me shone through... "Some memories should be left in the past. Ya know? It's funny... there are always heroes who step up and get knocked down. Sometimes they knock each other down... for that... Stacy, Zahara, Connie... Tyler, sweety... and yes, Rayne... I'm sorry. A good Sirkusdirektør doesn't leave her crowd wanting more. I shouldn't have just walked away. We shouldn't keep walking away. We have to-..."

My eyes widened in sudden alarm.

"I. I mean, I have to-"

Realizing what I'd just said, I began stumbling over my words now (not that I was doing a great job of speaking throughout this entire thing anyway, but I digress). J.B cocked her head to the side, the cold expression fading to one of slight worry. But Thea merely casually draped an arm over my shoulder and flashed her pearly whites out to the crowd.

"This was our first show so cut us a little slack! Our hi-jinks will only get bigger and probably badder from here on out! But there'll be free drinks and we're at least semi-entertaining!" She shot them a wink and flicked her wrist, making the cane she held twitch, and smoke immediately billowed up around us. Coughing within it, I jabbed an elbow into her side.

"The hell're you doing?"

"Saving your act. What's going on?? Don't know what mask to wear for-"

"Uh, guys-..."

"Rayne?? I don't have a mask for her. She's one of few people I've let see me naked!" With a pause, I slapped a palm to my face, "That came out wrong. But the point stands! I came back because I want to make this business what it was intended to be... entertaining. I wanna make sure people see actual wrasslin', maybe a bit of mixed style in there, but not have to listen to these fake ass broads talk about how they wanna eff up the established order and how they're so scary with their witchcraft and wizardy.... like, bitch this ain't Hogwarts! These ghouls gotta go, or at least be put in their place..."

"And what's that have to do with Rayne?"

"You guys do know...-"

"Kill two birds with one stone... the messages I send don't always have to be negative. Sometimes it's outstretching a hand and letting someone know that you support them. That even though you ran away and you fucked up that you're still here and you'll do anything to make things right because that person was your best fucking friend."

"Wait... I thought I was your best friend."

"Honey bunz, you're more than that you goofball." I jokingly ruffled her braided hair, and she swatted me away in irritation as to the side Thea scratched her head.

"I mean... is that how you really feel? Putting aside your act and putting aside what you want to accomplish in whatever time you have left in VoW... about Rayne, I mean..."

"When I say our Visions... it's not just mine, your's, the fans'... it's other wrestlers' too. The good ones; hell, the worthy ones. The ones who mean it when they say that they'll make a change, because from where I stand... certain people are just another Orphanage type group with added appendages. But Rayney Day stands as a beacon of hope. And I refuse to see it any other way."

"Good to know." Thea jabbed a thumb to the side, and I realized that the smoke had cleared. J.B shook her head.

"I was trying to t-tell you. Our mics were on the entire time."

The people chattered quietly amongst themselves as if trying to figure out what was going on. I'd say around half a dozen understood (either they were fans of VoW, or wrestling as a whole) and were nodding in appreciation. With a deep breath, I straightened and stood there in the middle of the stage, confidence having faded slightly as I felt vulnerable under their judging stares. After a moment, I took in the thick atmosphere and locked on to the nearest camera I saw recording this, voice ringing clear through the dimmed room...

"You thought you'd seen the last of me..." I lifted my electric blue eyes to everyone else's in the room... a small smile creeping onto my face, "... as if I could ever truly leave."

With that, the curtain just... dropped. There was no applause, no standing O. Just the bewildered buzzing of the crowd. And as that sank in, I loosened my jaw and stared into space. Getting back into the groove of things would prove to be a chore. Staying there, while maintaining this healthy doze of psychopathy that riddled me lately... well, that'd be even harder. But at least I had an easy week. Nothing to prove, but everything to say. My friend... no, my sister... Rayne.

This was a good choice. For our Vision.