Post by Elskerinne on Jul 7, 2014 22:59:31 GMT -6
I'm... exhausted...
Maybe I stayed up too late. Or maybe I partied too hard. I'm startin' to see shit. I should probably put the bottle down; I've started sleepin' with it. So it's time to play a different card. I mean, poker ain't my strong suit. I'm losing money, I'm losing health. Betting against death, in a game I'll never win. And for what? Fortune? Power? What good is either, if you're on a road paved with pain. This is real life. You don't get upgrades. No power-ups. No mushrooms that make you magically bigger or stronger. Life's not a... video game or board game or anything like that. It's a party. But it's a party full of people you can't trust, with food that'll make you sick, and punch that's been poisoned.
Where do I go from here?
I wonder how many times I've asked myself that? Prolly around two hundred and forty six, over the last couple of years. But it ain't cuz I'm all down on myself. I'm actually a positive person. When I wanna be. But I'm gettin' older. Growing up. And you start realizing, as time goes on, ya can't just keep floatin' wherever ya darn well please. You've gotta tie yourself down... otherwise, you'll fly up too high... and no one will be able to reach you. I've been at that point. Tried clawin' my way back... then floated right back up again.
This time, I've got rope.
So now... now I decide where I go. Who I'm with. My loyalties, my desires. My friends and my foes. Who deserves my respect... rather, who's earned it, and who needs a good coffee mist to their effin' face. This ain't the time to just let bygones be bygones. I'll teach people why I was known as the Queen of Extreme. They mess with me, with who or what I believe in... well, iono. What should I do? Play it off like a joke? Use it against them? Or do what I've done throughout my entire career... and use my actions to portray exactly how I feel?
Even I can see, that last option is the best.
♫ I think it's time you realiize, you're only wasting your time. Addicted to attentiion! You need an intervention. So why you acting like you're sick... sittin' 'round and talking shit. Don't you get tired of being alone? ♫
"I'm all talk."
I sighed aloud, staring at the rope (a piece about two feet long) in my grasp. Jessie J blasted in my ears, as I had my iPod on repeat. I was tryin' to use more upbeat songs to bump up my mood. But it wasn't happenin'. Lady Gaga, Kesha, boy bands, and all that shitty bubblegum pop... nope. Rippin' the earbuds outta my ears, I then rubbed my temples and scowled slightly. This was hard. I was starting to wish October would come already. Cooler weather. Girls in sexy cat costumes. Life was good during Halloween. Those were the best parties. But nooo... it was July. Particularly, July 5th. The fireworks were still booming at 3am (and would all weekend), and people were still causin' mayhem. Which I'm usually cool with... except...
It didn't help that it was my birthday...
"Why are y-you in a train, Nessa?"
This familiar voice came nervously, and I peered out from my safe haven to see Jessi Brennan standing below, looking around for security. We were at the Railroad Museum in Duluth, which was my cute blonde assistant's attempt at making my birthday a 'good day'. Or 'tolerable day'. She knew why it couldn't be. She knew what I'd gone through on this day. Why I dreaded it. Why I hated this entire month. Blargh. I slapped my cheeks a few times, glanced sneakily around, then climbed out of the old train. Hopping down next to Jessi, I stuck my lower lip out.
"I thought sittin' in one of these cool trains would give me inspiration."
"Inspiration for... your match this week?" Jessi questioned, a bit bewildered, and I nodded firmly. I noticed she was holding drinks, and graciously took the coffee she handed me. Slurping some down, I let it burn my throat, before responding carelessly.
"Yeah, against Scotty."
"Scott Knight..." My assistant reiterated quietly, leading me toward the exit of the museum we'd already explored. "Should you really be taking him so lightly?"
"Oh I ain't takin' him lightly. But I certainly don't respect 'em. Submissive bitcchhh!"
"But..."
"But wut?"
Jessi went red, hiding her face by burying it in her own coffee. I lifted an eyebrow, before poking her side repeatedly. She squeaked and jumped away, nearly spilling her drink as she shouted at me. People were staring. They always did, when I went out. Sometimes it was just because I was being loud, weird, obnoxious. Other times... I was just recognized. I was THE Vanessa. THE Queen. Fans adored me... I couldn't stand 'em. I didn't believe them. I saw them as party goers who cheer on a fight because it's entertainment. Who don't really care about the sides... they just pretend to pick one.
I didn't want people cheering a name they didn't care about.
"Jessiiiii... answer meee!"
We were almost out of the museum, when Jessi finally responding after torment by poking. "Well... aren't y-you... sub... submissive?"
"Oh, you mean sexually?" Jessi went even redder, and I laughed and nodded firmly, snappin' the rope a little. "Oh hell yeah, I love bein' tied up! Dominatrixes... oh Athena, my fantasies..."
"And now you're b-basically against one. S-sort of?"
"Well, yea kinda." I nodded in agreement. Mistress Lovecraft? Defo a dom. Scott Knight's, in particular. But what happens in the bedroom, and what happens in the ring, are two different things. "Lovecraft basically orders him what to do. Yeah, it's been proven he knows what to do even when she ain't around... but he follows her every whim. He's like a zombie, controlled by the all powerful mistress. I mean, she turns me on too... but c'mon now. Have some balls, think for yerself. You can be all muscular and hardcore as you want... but that don't mean jack if you can't back it up with ring experience, knowledge, and general intelligence. Knight's just a train..."
"And Lovecraft is the c-conductor!" Jessi finished my thought, and I grinned at her as we exited the building. We continued heading down the sidewalk, as I couldn't help but think that Jessi and I hit the nail on the head there. She controls him. Tells him what direction he goes. And he bends down and kisses her feet. Built like a train... still can't truly run without it's conductor.
Our walk didn't last long... we had another destination that we were heading right toward. Possibly the only thing that could cheer me up on this day. The house came into sight, and I felt the pressure. It was worse than what I felt about my match of this week. A big guy like Knight? I'd have to utilize my skills as someone who tires their foe out, uses opportunities... all that jazz. I knew how to fight the big bad wolves of this industry. But... there was somethin' I wasn't so great with. And that's admitting that I'm wrong. Arrogant by nature, it was something I had to work on. Big time. So I couldn't help but cringe as Jessi and I stepped up to the door of the house we'd gone to. My assistant noticed me hesitating, and she hurriedly leaned over and knocked, then took a few steps back, as I tensed and stared blankly at the door. As soon as it opened, my throat tightened.
"Ah... hello." The gentle voice on the other side of the door made my heart skip, as that familiar tone tugged at me. But I kept my steady, confident tone, throwing away any mask or persona to make sure that this decision was sound.
"Hi... Reya."
"Happy birthday, Vanessa." The door to Rayne Draven Omega's house opened wider, as Reya Serra (my half sister) came fully into view. There was a pause after I thanked her, and we smiled sheepishly at one another, before she invited me in. Tightening my fists, I shook the Queen's protests away... before stepping forward, chin lifted.
Like I said... it's time to tie myself down.
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~This has been a V rp, thanx for reading and have a great f*cking day!~
