For Dad Oct 6, 2016 17:01:58 GMT -6
Post by Stacy Jones on Oct 6, 2016 17:01:58 GMT -6
Wednesday, June 25th, 2003
I can’t believe he’s gone. My rock. The only person I could confide in about anything. I had no idea about this double life he was leading. I’m so confused. Trying to understand why my brother, Paul would get himself involved with taking and selling drugs to the point where he was a wanted man by the police.
He was always there for me. All the countless times I would return home from school in floods of tears because I was bullied constantly for being different. He would always be there to make me feel better. He would always be the one to tell me that they bullied me because they were jealous of me. Jealous of my creativity, my smarts and because of my natural beauty on both the inside and outside.
His words, not mine. But now, I won’t have that anymore. No longer will I be able to cry into his arms. No longer will I hear him tell me that everything is going to be okay and that we can play Streets of Rage on his Sega Megadrive so I can pretend that the enemies are the mean kids at school.
All of that gone…
I’m making my way down the dark streets of New York City, dressed in a pair of black and white sneakers, a pair of black baggy denim jeans, a black Nightwish Century Child T-shirt, a sleeveless blue denim jacket, a pair of black woollen fingerless gloves, a black studded dog collar around my neck and my long brown hair under a plain maroon colored woollen hat.
Glancing across the road, I spot a dark alleyway not far from where a group of hookers are congregating, trying to flag down cars passing by to see if any of the drivers want to have a good time. In said alleyway, I spot a figure in the darkness, so I check left and right to see if it’s safe to cross and I do so.
The place seems dodgy enough, so clearly someone around here must be selling drugs somewhere. Maybe this guy in the shadows is. Okay Stacy, be cool. Resting against the wall not far from where the figure is standing, I look around to see if there are any cops around. Once I’m satisfied the coast is clear, I glance over to the figure.
“Hey you…got any drugs?”
There’s a moment of silence. I’m crapping my pants right now because for all I know, this guy could be a serial killer, but all I can think about right now is getting something to take away the pain of my brother no longer being around.
All of a sudden, the figure begins to move towards me causing me to back away slightly, just in case it is indeed some kind of killer.
“You’re better than this, Stacy…”
I freeze on the spot as I recognize the voice instantly. Now coming out of the shadows and into the light from the street lamp, his short spiked graying hair and matching beard come into view as well as his thin rimmed glasses. He’s dressed in a pair of light brown loafers, a pair of light blue denim jeans, a plain olive colored jumper and a long brown trench coat.
“Come on. Let’s go…”
He responds with a stern tone to his voice as he swiftly passes me without making any eye contact. I slowly nod and begin to follow him with my eyes glued to the path. I feel so ashamed. How could I have been so stupid? I glance up for a few seconds as we pass the group of hookers as they take an interest in my father.
“Hey there, good lookin’…wanna have a good time?”
“No thank you, I’m married.”
My Dad shows the woman who asked him the question the wedding ring on his left hand as he continues heading down the sidewalk.
“She doesn’t have to know, baby…”
He ignores her and continues walking as I continue following him, my eyes back to the floor. After what seemed like a eternity, we finally reach the car and he climbs into the drivers seat as I climb into the passenger seat.
Moments pass and we just sit there in silence before eventually, I can’t take it anymore and burst into tears.
“I-I’m so sorry, D-Daddy…I didn’t mean to m-make you angry…”
Holding the steering wheel with both hands, he just looks forward, not making eye contact with me.
“I’m not angry with you, Stacy…just…disappointed.”
I continue to sob as he sticks the keys into the ignition and starts up the old banger before beginning the journey back home.
“I don’t understand, Stacy. Why would you want to get yourself involved with the same thing that got your brother arrested?”
Shooting a glance up to my father, I realise that was the first time since his arrest that he’s spoken about him, at least in front of me anyway.
“I…I don’t know…I miss him…and I just…I want the pain to go away…”
“I know you do, sweetheart. But taking drugs isn’t the right way to do that.”
“Then what can I do? It hurts so much, Daddy. He was my rock…he was always there for me whenever I needed someone.”
“What about your mother and I? We’re always here for you.”
“Are you, though? You’re always out fishing or playing golf and Mom’s always visiting her friends.”
I hate having to bring that up to him, but it’s the truth. Paul was the only reason why I never felt lonely. He lets out a small sigh as he pushes his glasses up a little.
“You’re right, honey. We haven’t been there for you as much as we should…and I’m sorry for that. Tell you what, this Saturday…you and I will do something together. What do you say my sweet little Glampire?”
A large smile grows on my face as I look up at him, my eyes wide with happiness and he glances over to me and chuckles.
“I’d love that so much, Daddy. Thank you…”
I lunge towards him and wrap my arms around his arm, causing him to chuckle again and kiss the top of my head. We pull up onto the drive outside of our home and Dad puts the car into park and switches off the engine and turns to me.
“Stacy. Promise me that you’ll never get yourself involved in drugs, okay? I’ve already lost my son because of it…I don’t want to lose my daughter too.”
“I promise, Dad. I love you…”
“And I love you too, darling. Now, lets get inside and have dinner.”
And with that, I nod as we both exit the car and make our way into the house to see what Mom has rustled up for dinner.
Had it not being for my Dad being there that night, God knows what could have happened to me. I could have gotten my hands on some drugs and accidentally overdosed, or I could have ended up being killed by someone.
But had that night not have happened. It wouldn’t have started the relationship I remember most between my Dad and I. And little did I know that the special day out we were going to have that Saturday would spark one of my biggest loves today.
Sunday, October 14th, 2013
The day I lost my father was one of the worst days of my life. And 2013 had been a pretty awful year for me already after suffering not one, but two miscarriages. I still remember the phone call clear as day when the doctor rang me to inform me that he’d had a heart attack and was being kept on life support to give me the chance to say my goodbyes.
At first, I didn’t want too. I couldn’t bear going to see him. To look at him lying there in the hospital bed. Too weak and frail to move. To watch the shallow, short heaving of his chest as I took the final breaths of his life.
I didn’t want him to die…
As I’m sitting here in the Lower Manhattan Hospital, dressed in a pair of white sneakers, a pair of plain black skin tight leggings and a plain black hooded top with my long blonde hair tied in a ponytail, I hold onto my Dad’s hand in both of mine as I just stare at his almost lifeless body, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Daddy? Please don’t leave me. I need you here.”
He slowly opens his eyes and looks towards me, not being able to turn his head due to how weak he is.
I smile as I lift his hand up to my cheek and rest it upon his frail, wrinkled hand.
“D-Did I…ever tell you…th-that I al-ways…preferred you…w-with darker hair?”
He lets out a sharp cough and winces in pain, his breathing shallow yet hoarse, as if he’d been smoking for forty years.
“All th-the time, Dad. I h-hate it too…”
A smile comes across his thin lips. Without his glasses he almost reminds me of when Alfred was bed ridden with sickness in the Batman & Robin movie.
“I…I’m s-so proud…of y-you, h-honey. You w-were able t-to realise…y-your dream.”
“I c-couldn’t have done it w-without you, Dad.”
I softly kiss the palm of his hand before placing it back down by his side.
“Plus…there’s still o-one of my d-dreams I’m yet to f-fulfil. And I…was w-wanting you to b-be there if I e-ever accomplish it.”
Another cough, this one a little longer as he whimpers a little before I begin to stroke my hand through his thin, gray hair.
“I-If? Don’t….you mean…wh-when? I…know y-you can do it, S-Stacy. One day…y-you will be a W-World Ch-Champion. And even th-though…I won’t b-be there in b-body…I will be th-there in spirit…inside y-your heart.”
I lean forward and kiss him softly on the cheek, staring deep into his pale blue eyes.
“I l-love you, Dad.”
Another smile crosses his face as his eyelids become heavy and then eventually close as I hear nothing but the heart monitor flat-lining and I bury my face into his chest, crying.
I will never forget that day. It feels like it was just yesterday that it happened. It was horrible. Why did he have to die? Why does death always have to overcome life all of the time? Some say that the meaning of life…is to die. But I say to them that the meaning of life is to live.
It’s kind of ironic how after all the death I’ve had to live through during my lifetime that to finally realise my final dream is to overcome Death herself. I know I’m not the only one who has suffered the loss of those I care about, it’s a daily thing that happens and everyone has gone through it some way or another.
Back then, my father believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. But now? Things have changed and I do believe in myself. I can do this!
Thirteen years ago, a fourteen year old girl from New York started training to become a wrestler. From that moment, she dreamed of getting signed to a professional wrestling company. Dreamed of winning championship gold. But her biggest dream of all, was to one day be able to call herself a World Champion.
That girl was me. Stacy Jones. And thus far I have accomplished both getting signed to a professional wrestling company and winning championship gold. However, over my near eight year career in this industry, there has been that one dream that has always alluded me. Becoming World Champion.
On October 14th, 2016 live from the Charles E. Smith Center in our nation’s capital of Washington D.C at VoW’s third annual Armed & Dangerous Pay-Per-View event, I finally have the opportunity to realise the only dream that has escaped me thus far.
The champion? Emma Carlisle. Leader of the Horsewomen of Chaos. Death Incarnate herself. She is a woman who I have a lot of respect for in this industry. She is a woman that has proven herself to be one of the most dominant females in professional wrestling. The challenge is monstrous. I know that I will be spilling a lot of sweat, a lot of tears and maybe even blood, just so I can make sure that once that final bell tolls and the match is over, that my arm is raised in victory and I am handed that World Visionary Championship.
This is the biggest match of my entire career. And I will fight with everything I have to make sure I walk out as champion!
The camera flickers to life and all that can be seen is a large withered away stone angel. As we slowly pan down, it soon becomes apparent that this is in fact a gravestone and that the location we are in is in fact the New York City Marble Cemetery. Continuing to pan down, I finally come into view, sitting at the foot of it with my legs crossed, looking down to the ground as my long black and silver hair covers my face from view.
I’m dressed in my usual attire, consisting of a pair of black leather high heeled boots, a pair of skin tight black leather trousers, a black leather jacket, but this time…the shirt I’m wearing is different from usual.
Raising my head to look into the camera, this allows the shirt to become visible to the camera and it’s a black shirt with a white symbol on the front. The ankh symbol, also known as breath of life, the key of the Nile or crux ansata which is Latin for “cross with a handle”. It was an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic that read “life”, a triliteral sign for the consonants Ayin-Nun-Het.
“There are two things in our existence that is always guaranteed…”
I point to the symbol on my shirt.
Now looking up at the gravestone I sit beneath, I point up to it as I turn my attention back to the camera.
I rest my arms on my thighs now that I’m giving my full attention back to the camera.
“At Armed & Dangerous III, I will be partaking in the biggest match of my entire wrestling career when I do battle with Death Incarnate herself, with the richest prize in VoW on the line.”
It took me a while to accept the position I find myself in. But I’m ready for this. I know that I am capable of winning this match. And I’ll prove it at Armed & Dangerous.
“You see. When it comes to this match. I know that there are people out there who think I don’t have a snowball’s chance in Hell of walking away with the victory and the World Visionary Championship in my possession. The same people who didn’t think I would be able to defeat Emevlas Stastias in her own match. The same people who didn’t think I would be able to defeat Casanova English! Yet I proved those people wrong by defeating both Mevy and Cass, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to prove them wrong yet again at Armed & Dangerous!”
A sudden gust of wind blows my hair across my face and I tuck it back behind my ear.
“I know this match is going to be tough. I know it’s going to be physical. Emma will try and destroy me by beating me down. But you see Emma, the only way you’re going to be able to walk away still World Visionary Champion, is if you kill me! You should know already by now that I never give up! I never quit! Whenever I’m knocked down, I get back up and continue fighting! It’s been my dream since the age of fourteen to one day become a World Champion and now I am just a fingertip away from turning my dream into reality.”
I smirk into the camera as I put my palms together in front of my lips, as if I am praying.
“Remember at Breakthrough, Emma…when I first announced that I am the new number contender for your title and you came out and we exchanged words with one another? I remembered a line you said…that line being that you could see the fear in my eyes…”
Chuckling a little, I shake my head.
“Well considering I’ve been completely honest with you thus far, I’m going to continue. You were right. You did see fear in my eyes that night…but it wasn’t the fear that you thought, oh no. I know you think that I fear you, Emma. I know that you think that I am scared of Death Incarnate. As I told you that night…I have stared into Death’s evil, cold piercing eyes before and I have come out the other side stronger than ever before!”
I drop my head again, staring at the floor for a few moments before once again raising my head to look into the camera.
“No, Emma. The fear you saw in my eyes that night…it was the fear of failure. It was the fear that if I don’t defeat you at Armed & Dangerous and become World Champion that I will be letting down all of my fans that will be in attendance that night who have been with me since day one! That I’ll be letting all of my friends down who have stuck by me and helped me through my darkest of times and helped me become a better person! That I’ll be letting down the love of my life who had it not being for her support, I wouldn’t even be in the position that I am right now! And of course, that I’ll be letting down my father…who on his death bed said to me that I WILL one day become a World Champion!”
If my words could spit fire, they would be right now as a single tear rolls down my cheek.
“I remember when you tweeted me a few days ago in response about my focus on our upcoming encounter, and when I questioned that you were underestimating me, you said I was welcome for the extra fire in my gut…”
Again, I chuckle as I run my hands through my hair.
“...thing is…I never needed that extra fire in my gut, Emma. I don’t need anything from you to help me defeat you at Armed & Dangerous. I have enough fire within me to manage on my own because whenever I meet a young kid with cancer who says that I am their hero…or when I meet a teenager who tells me they finally picked up the courage to tell their family that they’re gay because I helped inspire them! Whenever I think about my father, listen to my friends and family who believe in me! THAT is all the motivation I need to help build the fire inside of me that will ultimately help me dethrone you!”
I remove my electronic cigarette from my jacket pocket and take a few puffs from it, watching the vapor evaporate into the sky.
“Some people want to win championships for money and power. Others want to win them for dominance and glory. I don’t care for those things because they do not matter to me. What matters to me is proving to myself that I can achieve the highest honor in the sport that I love with all of my heart! I want to prove that my father was right with his final words before he passed away! When I finally become World Visionary Champion…it won’t just be for me…it will be for every single fan who has stood by me since I first started! It will be for every young kid who has a dream! It will be for all of my friends and family, and especially for my father!”
Taking another drag from my e-cig, I fold my arms across my stomach.
“This match is going to be one Hell of a war between two wrestlers at the top of their game. It’s going to be a contest of the ages. Something will go down in history as one of the greatest World title matches in VoW history that will talked about for many years to come! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Emma…I respect the Hell out of you…and before we begin our battle, I will offer my hand as a show of sportsmanship and respect to you. I’ll leave it up to you on whether you shall accept or not, but once that bell rings…I will be giving you everything I’ve got! I will prove to you and VoW management why I was made number one contender! I will prove to everyone that after thirteen years of spilling my blood, sweat and tears…scratching and clawing my way up the proverbial mountain…that I am capable of becoming the brand new VoW World Visionary Champion!”
I look up at the clear blue sky as the sunlight bounces off my dark chocolate colored eyes.
“I once again find myself in a championship match at this great Pay-Per-View. The very event that I became Xcel Champion for the first time when I defeated three of this companies greatest wrestlers in Vanessa, Brett Carson and Scott Knight. At the second event, things unfortunately didn’t go my way and lost the Xcel title to Ryder Blade and now, I find myself battling you for the World title. And I’m going to make sure that I get another victory this time around. It’s time for a new revolution…the Stacy Jones revolution. And on October 14th, 2016…you, Emma Carlisle shall suffer my Judgement! Your final penance…is coming.”
And with that, I stand to my feet and disappear off camera, finally revealing the name on the gravestone I was sitting in front of, and it reads “Albert Jones, beloved father and husband, Born August 4th, 1947 - Died October 14th, 2013.
The fact that the day I will fight Emma for the World Visionary Championship on the three year anniversary of my father’s death makes this night even bigger for me. He always believed in me. Always pushed me to be the best and to overcome every single obstacle put in front of me.
If Emma Carlisle wants to retain her title at Armed & Dangerous, then she’s going to have to break every bone in my body. She’s going to have to make me spill all of my blood. She’s going to have to kill me! Because I will never quit. I will never give up. I will never stop until that title is in my possession.
Because I’m doing it for my Dad…