Post by PKA on Jul 14, 2014 22:31:28 GMT -6
PKA is seated at a table in the middle of a fancy restaurant in Wichita, Kansas as the scene fades in to a Monday afternoon lunch. Patrick Kay Anthony is dressed nicely, with black slacks, a black vest, with a blue button-up undershirt. His hair is pulled back and he looks as professional as possible. He does, however, have eyeliner on. That's his thing, though. He takes a drink from his glass and looks across the table at his former boss, business partner, and one-time trainer, Joey Matthew.
Joey: She made mine strong as hell, bro.
PKA smiles as he takes another drink from his adult beverage.
PKA: Perfect for me, BROEY.
Joey: Treats is going to be mad when he hears you stole his line.
PKA: Look, it was a tweet, so its public and up for grabs. Besides, I disagree. I think he'll pop for it.
Joey shakes his head and has a drink. Joey is dressed in black slacks, and a black coat over a white shirt and black tie. He is professional as always.
PKA: I swear, people are staring.
PKA and Joey look around. It does appear that people are looking at the two men in the middle of the restaurant.
Joey: I can tell..
PKA: I think they think we're wrestlers.
Joey Matthew rolls his eyes.
Joey: Wrestlers, eh?
PKA: What else could it be?
Joey looks at PKA from top to bottom, or as much as he can see from where the table blocks his body.
PKA: What?
Joey: Eyeliner..really?
PKA: Its my gimmick, BROey..
Joey: They think we're, you know. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
PKA: No, not at all. You .. you think?
Joey: Look at those old people behind you. Look but don't look, you know. They have been making remarks since we got here.
PKA sighs.
PKA: Well, F em. Can't two prim and proper looking fellas go out for a lunch date? I mean come on.
Joey: You did call me 'bae' in a tweet today.
PKA: Like old folks are on Twitter. Your logic is flawed.
Matthew shrugs.
Joey: So, how are things in Visionary?
PKA: Good, good. Been there about two months. Been an up and down battle as far as winning matches go, but I feel like I never missed a step. Its like 2003 all over again.
Joey: Was it really that long since you were active full-time?
PKA: Nah, probably more like '04, but '03 was a big year for me. But yeah, I dig it in The V-Ow.. no doubt. Hugo just signed, so that's sweet. I can't wait to get with him and make some magic.
Joey: You on the card tomorrow?
PKA: Yeah, in a Triangle Match, the second since I got here. I was in the first one, actually. Lost that one.. but got an elimination after doing the Blockbuster for the first time ever. THAT was weird and shocking, but pretty damn awesome. Maybe I'll put away one of the guys with it again in this match.
Joey: Anyone good?
PKA: I'm better, so who cares?
Anthony takes a drink from his glass. At this time, the waiter brings over their meals and the scene fades.
---------------------------------------------------
The scene opens later that day as we see PKA arriving home in his black Mustang. He waves at the neighbors as they pull out of their parking space and drive off. PKA pauses to appreciate the day and comment.
PKA: Another day, another dollar. Another drink, another smoke. Another night of me wondering what in the hell am I going to do tomorrow night? I of course know what I'm going to do."
He walks to the porch and puts the key in the door handle keyhole while continuing.
PKA: I don't know WHO I'm going to do..
He opens the wooden door and escapes the dusk outside.
PKA: I'll just visit a local club after the show and pull it out on the dance floor. Ladies love that shit.
He wipes the sweat off his brow and undoes the rubber band from his hair to let his hair down as he enters the cool breeze of his air conditioned house.
PKA: I'll pull out a win at Breakthrough before then, though. Yeah, Breakthrough. Remember the part where I said I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow night? Yeah so. Who the hell am I facing?
He flicks the kitchen light on and digs a Bud Light out of the refrigerator.
PKA: Nah, I kid. I kid. Why would I admit to not knowing who I'm facing unless I was just kidding? Does that make sense? Like, I've got a lot riding on this match. I was in the first ever Triangle Match in the V O Dubya, and tomorrow night, daddy, I have another Triangle Match against Starrkadian and Drake Blake. Now I'm sure they are lovely talents but quite frankly, I've been far too busy living the good life to pay any attention to them.
He takes a big swig of the cool, refreshing adult beverage.
PKA: Now you might say, ain't that disrespectful? Fuck nah it ain't disrespectful!
He shakes his head in disapproval.
PKA: You could say, isn't that stupid? Hell yeah its stupid.
He shrugs and takes another swig of the beer while having a seat at the dining room table. PKA looks directly into the camera with his hands flat on the table. He slaps the table's surface once and he continues.
PKA: Look, you can't expect me to watch every single match, just like you can't expect me to win every single match, or ejaculate after a heavy night of drinking. Look, its called Whiskey Dick, and it happens to the best of us. Let it go!
He clears his throat after letting out that embarrassing fact.
PKA: Think about this: I've forgotten more opponents' names than I've won matches, I'll be honest. But sometimes you gotta lose a few matches in order to win the big one. And you know what? The big one is what people remember. That's when I'll remember the name. For me, the last time I had a big one was with a guy with a similar name to Starrkadian. He was Alexander StarrZoe. The man was amazing in that ring. I remember his name. I went to war with Hugo Strange recently. I remember his name, and now we're friends. How about that? How would you like to be my friend? First, we've got to have a sick feud. Quite frankly, I'm bored. I need something to do. I feel SO ALIVE again to be wrestling here in V- OW,baby. But I need something more. So Starrkadian, Drake Bell, do me a favor guys - make me remember your name. Cause quite frankly, I'm getting sick and damn tired of having forgetful opponents and matches.
He runs his right hand through his hair as he leans back in the chair. PKA grabs the can and takes another drink from it, finishing the can off already. He crushes it and tosses it in the trash can.
PKA: That was some damn good beer. I think I'll have another.
He stands up and heads to the refrigerator and retrieves another beer. CRACK! He opens it up and has a drink.
PKA: See what you're looking at , who you're looking at even, is the Ultraviolent Perfectionist. I've been saying it for over a decade now. When you look at the roster up and down, no matter where I am, if you were to put a score next to each wrestler's name, you'd always see the same letter next to the letters P..K.. and A.. - Grade A. There's no doubt about it. I love this business and I bust my ass out there to entertain. I'd trade it for nothing in the world. So Starr and Drake The Blake, bring your A-Game, cause you know I damn sure do each and every time.
PKA takes another drink as he has a seat on the chair at the dining room table again. He shrugs as he continues.
PKA: So I kind of lied. I mean, I know a LITTLE about these guys. Dude, Starr? You're nuts. I kind of dig the whole deal, though. So are you this guy who makes everyone think you're insane and not with it and then in the ring is where you turn it on? Is that your deal? Or are you just outright stupid? Maybe its all a put-on? I don't even know, nor do I care. See, I don't discriminate. I'm EOE. Equal Opportunity Extremist. I'll gladly beat the living hell out of any random person and make them bleed. It doesn't matter if you're white, black, brown, orange, purple, gay, straight, transgender, bi, albino, Al Pacino, Al Borland, or Al Coholic. See, this is an opportunity for me, Brake and Stake, to show the world that I am this Grade A Player that I boast about. Perhaps I've had a rough go here in the first two months in my return to wrestling, but I swear to you both that I am loving every minute. Wrestling makes me feel so alive. Alive. Alive. ALIVE!
PKA stops and thinks fondly of the Empire of the Sun song "Alive" that he somewhat just quoted. The song plays through his head as he hums a little of it before continuing.
PKA: I was just thinking about the end of the match. Blake will be blacked out. Starrkadian will be confused. Oh, wait, that's me at about 6am after the after-party. Well.. Before Starrkadian is struggling to figure out what to call a paramedic, maybe he should get his emergency contacts in order and stop screwing around. E.T. phone home, because Pain Kicks Ass, and I'm about to kick yours. Drake, for goodness sakes, get your shit together. I haven't heard one peep from you this entire week and quite frankly it is something I thank you for. What? Thank? Yeah, thank. I lost out on quality me time earlier today when I watched that Starrkadian Shenanigans promo.
He tilts his head a bit to crack his neck, and runs his finger into his left ear. After scratching that itch, and scratching another behind his head, he continues.
PKA: You see, I'm going to do just what I did last week on Breakthrough. Just like I said I would, I went out there and dropped Blue Suede Bruce on his head with the P-Krusher so hard that now he should be called Black and Blue Suede Bruce! Drake, Starr, I don't care which one of you I have to pin, but I will win this match. And for the love of PTC Pete, would people stop interfering in my matches? I get it, you hold a grudge, but I hold my dick every day and you don't see me swinging it around for everyone to see in your matches, now do ya? Stay away, you jerks.
I hope The V.O.W. management is taking a good, long look at me in the ring and out. Well.. Specifically in the ring.. because quite honestly, I'm not sure I want anyone knowing about the shit that goes on outside of it. Week in and week out I have showed the world that I am here to stay. I'm not some flash in the pan and no matter how many 'major signings' AT V O W underscore Online tweets about, I'll still be the major signing in hiding. But the best thing about that? I'm hiding in plain sight. So, find me. Notice me. Love me. Because by the time you finally come around and realize I'm great, will it be too late? At that point, for me, your heart may be filled with hate. Let's not let it get to that point, okay?
He scratches his chest through his blue button-up shirt with one hand as he picks up the beer with the other. After a swig from the can, he notices something on the table in front of him. He stands up and leans forward, retrieving the manikin head that he's been carrying around backstage at VOW Breakthrough for weeks now. This is the manikin head sent to him by his old friend Mr Rottentreats, in some sort of haunting or for other mysterious reasons. He sits back down and holds the manikin head in the palms of his hands.
PKA: See, I got rid of that Jack in the Box and gave it back to Hugo. Next, I need to get rid of this stupid Manikin Head. Trust me, nobody on the roster wants it. I've tried giving it to them and they don't want it. I tried putting it on EBay but I think they suspended my account for it. Treats, I know you're out there. Would you tell me why you insist I carry this thing around so often? I swear.
He sets the head down in front of him next to the beer. His eyes widen like a lightbulb just went off. He snaps his fingers.
PKA: Wait, you know what? Two heads....well, they're better than one.
PKA looks down at his crotch. He then looks to the manikin head in front of him. He flicks it with his finger and it rolls over on its side.
PKA: What about three? One.. Two.. Three, here is your winner, me me me... No Fear, No Limits..
He pauses to take a giiiiiiiiiiant swig of the beer as he chugs and chugs to finish it off. Beer slides down his jaw as he crushes the can in his hands.
He belches as he goes to speak. Now, he can continue.
PKA: Just PAIN.........
The Ultraviolent Perfectionist winks at the camera and pushes his chair back as he plans to now get another beer. He tosses the can in the trash and opens the refrigerator. Next, he heads to his laptop in the living room and pulls up "Alive" by Empire of the Sun. He bops along with a beer in his hand as the scene fades to black.
Joey: She made mine strong as hell, bro.
PKA smiles as he takes another drink from his adult beverage.
PKA: Perfect for me, BROEY.
Joey: Treats is going to be mad when he hears you stole his line.
PKA: Look, it was a tweet, so its public and up for grabs. Besides, I disagree. I think he'll pop for it.
Joey shakes his head and has a drink. Joey is dressed in black slacks, and a black coat over a white shirt and black tie. He is professional as always.
PKA: I swear, people are staring.
PKA and Joey look around. It does appear that people are looking at the two men in the middle of the restaurant.
Joey: I can tell..
PKA: I think they think we're wrestlers.
Joey Matthew rolls his eyes.
Joey: Wrestlers, eh?
PKA: What else could it be?
Joey looks at PKA from top to bottom, or as much as he can see from where the table blocks his body.
PKA: What?
Joey: Eyeliner..really?
PKA: Its my gimmick, BROey..
Joey: They think we're, you know. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
PKA: No, not at all. You .. you think?
Joey: Look at those old people behind you. Look but don't look, you know. They have been making remarks since we got here.
PKA sighs.
PKA: Well, F em. Can't two prim and proper looking fellas go out for a lunch date? I mean come on.
Joey: You did call me 'bae' in a tweet today.
PKA: Like old folks are on Twitter. Your logic is flawed.
Matthew shrugs.
Joey: So, how are things in Visionary?
PKA: Good, good. Been there about two months. Been an up and down battle as far as winning matches go, but I feel like I never missed a step. Its like 2003 all over again.
Joey: Was it really that long since you were active full-time?
PKA: Nah, probably more like '04, but '03 was a big year for me. But yeah, I dig it in The V-Ow.. no doubt. Hugo just signed, so that's sweet. I can't wait to get with him and make some magic.
Joey: You on the card tomorrow?
PKA: Yeah, in a Triangle Match, the second since I got here. I was in the first one, actually. Lost that one.. but got an elimination after doing the Blockbuster for the first time ever. THAT was weird and shocking, but pretty damn awesome. Maybe I'll put away one of the guys with it again in this match.
Joey: Anyone good?
PKA: I'm better, so who cares?
Anthony takes a drink from his glass. At this time, the waiter brings over their meals and the scene fades.
---------------------------------------------------
The scene opens later that day as we see PKA arriving home in his black Mustang. He waves at the neighbors as they pull out of their parking space and drive off. PKA pauses to appreciate the day and comment.
PKA: Another day, another dollar. Another drink, another smoke. Another night of me wondering what in the hell am I going to do tomorrow night? I of course know what I'm going to do."
He walks to the porch and puts the key in the door handle keyhole while continuing.
PKA: I don't know WHO I'm going to do..
He opens the wooden door and escapes the dusk outside.
PKA: I'll just visit a local club after the show and pull it out on the dance floor. Ladies love that shit.
He wipes the sweat off his brow and undoes the rubber band from his hair to let his hair down as he enters the cool breeze of his air conditioned house.
PKA: I'll pull out a win at Breakthrough before then, though. Yeah, Breakthrough. Remember the part where I said I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow night? Yeah so. Who the hell am I facing?
He flicks the kitchen light on and digs a Bud Light out of the refrigerator.
PKA: Nah, I kid. I kid. Why would I admit to not knowing who I'm facing unless I was just kidding? Does that make sense? Like, I've got a lot riding on this match. I was in the first ever Triangle Match in the V O Dubya, and tomorrow night, daddy, I have another Triangle Match against Starrkadian and Drake Blake. Now I'm sure they are lovely talents but quite frankly, I've been far too busy living the good life to pay any attention to them.
He takes a big swig of the cool, refreshing adult beverage.
PKA: Now you might say, ain't that disrespectful? Fuck nah it ain't disrespectful!
He shakes his head in disapproval.
PKA: You could say, isn't that stupid? Hell yeah its stupid.
He shrugs and takes another swig of the beer while having a seat at the dining room table. PKA looks directly into the camera with his hands flat on the table. He slaps the table's surface once and he continues.
PKA: Look, you can't expect me to watch every single match, just like you can't expect me to win every single match, or ejaculate after a heavy night of drinking. Look, its called Whiskey Dick, and it happens to the best of us. Let it go!
He clears his throat after letting out that embarrassing fact.
PKA: Think about this: I've forgotten more opponents' names than I've won matches, I'll be honest. But sometimes you gotta lose a few matches in order to win the big one. And you know what? The big one is what people remember. That's when I'll remember the name. For me, the last time I had a big one was with a guy with a similar name to Starrkadian. He was Alexander StarrZoe. The man was amazing in that ring. I remember his name. I went to war with Hugo Strange recently. I remember his name, and now we're friends. How about that? How would you like to be my friend? First, we've got to have a sick feud. Quite frankly, I'm bored. I need something to do. I feel SO ALIVE again to be wrestling here in V- OW,baby. But I need something more. So Starrkadian, Drake Bell, do me a favor guys - make me remember your name. Cause quite frankly, I'm getting sick and damn tired of having forgetful opponents and matches.
He runs his right hand through his hair as he leans back in the chair. PKA grabs the can and takes another drink from it, finishing the can off already. He crushes it and tosses it in the trash can.
PKA: That was some damn good beer. I think I'll have another.
He stands up and heads to the refrigerator and retrieves another beer. CRACK! He opens it up and has a drink.
PKA: See what you're looking at , who you're looking at even, is the Ultraviolent Perfectionist. I've been saying it for over a decade now. When you look at the roster up and down, no matter where I am, if you were to put a score next to each wrestler's name, you'd always see the same letter next to the letters P..K.. and A.. - Grade A. There's no doubt about it. I love this business and I bust my ass out there to entertain. I'd trade it for nothing in the world. So Starr and Drake The Blake, bring your A-Game, cause you know I damn sure do each and every time.
PKA takes another drink as he has a seat on the chair at the dining room table again. He shrugs as he continues.
PKA: So I kind of lied. I mean, I know a LITTLE about these guys. Dude, Starr? You're nuts. I kind of dig the whole deal, though. So are you this guy who makes everyone think you're insane and not with it and then in the ring is where you turn it on? Is that your deal? Or are you just outright stupid? Maybe its all a put-on? I don't even know, nor do I care. See, I don't discriminate. I'm EOE. Equal Opportunity Extremist. I'll gladly beat the living hell out of any random person and make them bleed. It doesn't matter if you're white, black, brown, orange, purple, gay, straight, transgender, bi, albino, Al Pacino, Al Borland, or Al Coholic. See, this is an opportunity for me, Brake and Stake, to show the world that I am this Grade A Player that I boast about. Perhaps I've had a rough go here in the first two months in my return to wrestling, but I swear to you both that I am loving every minute. Wrestling makes me feel so alive. Alive. Alive. ALIVE!
PKA stops and thinks fondly of the Empire of the Sun song "Alive" that he somewhat just quoted. The song plays through his head as he hums a little of it before continuing.
PKA: I was just thinking about the end of the match. Blake will be blacked out. Starrkadian will be confused. Oh, wait, that's me at about 6am after the after-party. Well.. Before Starrkadian is struggling to figure out what to call a paramedic, maybe he should get his emergency contacts in order and stop screwing around. E.T. phone home, because Pain Kicks Ass, and I'm about to kick yours. Drake, for goodness sakes, get your shit together. I haven't heard one peep from you this entire week and quite frankly it is something I thank you for. What? Thank? Yeah, thank. I lost out on quality me time earlier today when I watched that Starrkadian Shenanigans promo.
He tilts his head a bit to crack his neck, and runs his finger into his left ear. After scratching that itch, and scratching another behind his head, he continues.
PKA: You see, I'm going to do just what I did last week on Breakthrough. Just like I said I would, I went out there and dropped Blue Suede Bruce on his head with the P-Krusher so hard that now he should be called Black and Blue Suede Bruce! Drake, Starr, I don't care which one of you I have to pin, but I will win this match. And for the love of PTC Pete, would people stop interfering in my matches? I get it, you hold a grudge, but I hold my dick every day and you don't see me swinging it around for everyone to see in your matches, now do ya? Stay away, you jerks.
I hope The V.O.W. management is taking a good, long look at me in the ring and out. Well.. Specifically in the ring.. because quite honestly, I'm not sure I want anyone knowing about the shit that goes on outside of it. Week in and week out I have showed the world that I am here to stay. I'm not some flash in the pan and no matter how many 'major signings' AT V O W underscore Online tweets about, I'll still be the major signing in hiding. But the best thing about that? I'm hiding in plain sight. So, find me. Notice me. Love me. Because by the time you finally come around and realize I'm great, will it be too late? At that point, for me, your heart may be filled with hate. Let's not let it get to that point, okay?
He scratches his chest through his blue button-up shirt with one hand as he picks up the beer with the other. After a swig from the can, he notices something on the table in front of him. He stands up and leans forward, retrieving the manikin head that he's been carrying around backstage at VOW Breakthrough for weeks now. This is the manikin head sent to him by his old friend Mr Rottentreats, in some sort of haunting or for other mysterious reasons. He sits back down and holds the manikin head in the palms of his hands.
PKA: See, I got rid of that Jack in the Box and gave it back to Hugo. Next, I need to get rid of this stupid Manikin Head. Trust me, nobody on the roster wants it. I've tried giving it to them and they don't want it. I tried putting it on EBay but I think they suspended my account for it. Treats, I know you're out there. Would you tell me why you insist I carry this thing around so often? I swear.
He sets the head down in front of him next to the beer. His eyes widen like a lightbulb just went off. He snaps his fingers.
PKA: Wait, you know what? Two heads....well, they're better than one.
PKA looks down at his crotch. He then looks to the manikin head in front of him. He flicks it with his finger and it rolls over on its side.
PKA: What about three? One.. Two.. Three, here is your winner, me me me... No Fear, No Limits..
He pauses to take a giiiiiiiiiiant swig of the beer as he chugs and chugs to finish it off. Beer slides down his jaw as he crushes the can in his hands.
He belches as he goes to speak. Now, he can continue.
PKA: Just PAIN.........
The Ultraviolent Perfectionist winks at the camera and pushes his chair back as he plans to now get another beer. He tosses the can in the trash and opens the refrigerator. Next, he heads to his laptop in the living room and pulls up "Alive" by Empire of the Sun. He bops along with a beer in his hand as the scene fades to black.