Post by Parody on Sept 3, 2014 22:57:26 GMT -6
Meh..
”Shane, man. What’s up?!”
”I’m tired of this shit…”
”Don’t worry about it. Everybody knows that you’re a beast, dude. Everybody knows that you could’ve taken Knight out easily ; and hadn’t it been for that bullshit call, compliments of the referee, you would’ve came out the victor.”
”As fucked up a situation as that was, and still is, I wasn’t even talking about that, man. Believe me, I’m over it. I’ve soaked away my sorrows with cases upon cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon since then..”
”Shane, man, it’s only been a few days..”
”Yeah? And you know what I’ve got to say about THAT?!”
”Hmm?”
”TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!”
Lucas slaps his palm against his forehead. ”So then what is it that’s bothering you?!”
”Minnesota. That’s what’s bothering me. We’ve been here for weeks now. I haven’t gotten lucky ONCE. These bars are filled with big nosed women with horrible accents.”
”Holy shit! …Did your standards rise overnight?! You used to be willing to fuck anything with a pulse..”
”Right. So you should be ecstatic about my ‘raised standards’. You were going to be next on the list…
”Well……. This just turned awkward.”
”Asshole. But on a serious note, I truly feel empty. No Hollywood parties. No hot sex orgies. And it’s not like I can afford to book flights because they don’t really pay me enough here.. especially not when you’re on the losing side.”
”So, face it. It IS losing that’s bothering you.”
”Are you NOT tired of being here?!”
”I wouldn’t know your pain, honestly. I’ve been back and forth, between here and there..”
”Yeah. I bet you have, you undefeated schmuck.”
”So this IS about your losing streak!”
”Can I borrow two hundred bucks?”
”Shane, dude?”
”Yes. Losing has a lot to do with it. There’s no reason why a seasoned veteran of fifteen years’ experience in this industry should be losing to these curtain jerkers ; shafted, poorly ranked and rated. I’m used to winning all the major championships ; highlighting all the pay-per-view events, having my name in lights via marquees, billboards, and banners. But here in VOW? My career has yet to ignite. I’ve been D-listed. That guy that everyone knew, looked up to and admired back in New Edge isn’t the same guy that you see today.”
“And because of that, my motivation hasn’t really been there. Had I taken a little more accountability, and just went in with guns blazing, I wouldn’t have lost to Starrkadian. Nor would I have lost, bullshit or not, to Knight, because I would’ve been up in his face the entire time, never allowing him the opportunity to ground me. I would probably be taken more seriously. Don’t get me wrong, Luke, it’s not all about being on top, nor is it all about winning EVERYTIME. But it’s an ego thing. It’s a pride thing. Someone of my caliber will go down, yes, but when it’s the time right. Against the right competitor. And I haven’t fought that competitor here in VOW yet. I have no idea who he is. I’m not even sure I’ll recognize him when I see him, if he’s even in VOW.”
“With that said, my game face is now on. I still wish there were better looking women in Minnesota. I still wish their voices weren’t like nails on a chalkboard. But above all, I wish one of these morons luck in being this man that DESERVES victory over me. I wish Daniel J. Kennedy all the luck in the world in this match. That the gods will grant him the gift of talent. That they will grant him the opportunity to have a fighting chance against a top notch athlete as myself. Because from what I’ve seen so far? The kid’s worse than even Knight. He’d have to resort to cheap shots, low blows, and cheapskates moves. The very ones that I’m now vowing to keep a watchful eye on.”
“Daniel J. Kennedy might not have his girlfriend cutting his promos for him, but what he does is even worse. He attempts to get under his opposition’s skin by talking shit at a house show, acting like he’s getting all prepped up and ready for the real deal. Instead of hiring Shane Sparx stunt doubles, however, he ought to be more focused on training at the gym. Studying his craft. Shit, something. Even if he were at the Minnesota bars hitting on broads with perpendicular noses, it’d be a step in the right direction for him. What became of me after I watched that travesty of a promo was NOT fear. It was laughter. The kind that makes you fall out of your chair, warranting for others to come to your aid because they think you’ve gone delusional.”
“But I haven’t gone delusional quite yet. They won’t be able to call me that for sure until they see my showcase against Daniel Kennedy this week. When I’m full impact, little play. When I’m brutal. When I’m balls to the walls, pulling moves from my arsenal that you didn’t even know existed. When I’m putting my best foot forward and giving my all ; something you’ve yet to see from me here in VOW. There’s obviously a reason why I’m not making an impact, and I’m dead certain that it will be made, come hell or high water. Daniel Kennedy will just be the first to suffer. And then, down the road, I will gain redemption by taking out Starrkadian and Knight the rightful way.”
“Better get some fuckin’ urns ready!”
Lucas pats Shane on the shoulder. ”Good, good. That’s what I like to hear, man. I’m happy to see you back in natural form. The old ‘kicking ass and taking names’ persona that you’ve always been known for.”
”Shit. I created said persona, bro.”
”You probably did, you dinosaur.”
”Hey, your sister-in-law thought I had a nice cock for a t-rex..”
”Uhhhh… I’m not sure that was an appropriate joke, given that I’m not FULLY over that….. “
”Face it. I’m always going to be an envelope pusher. Just call me Hunter Va…..”
”Goodbye!”
”No! Wait, bro!”
Lucas laughs and pats Shane on the shoulder once more as they walk towards the bar area for a drink.
”Welcome back, man…”
”Shane, man. What’s up?!”
”I’m tired of this shit…”
”Don’t worry about it. Everybody knows that you’re a beast, dude. Everybody knows that you could’ve taken Knight out easily ; and hadn’t it been for that bullshit call, compliments of the referee, you would’ve came out the victor.”
”As fucked up a situation as that was, and still is, I wasn’t even talking about that, man. Believe me, I’m over it. I’ve soaked away my sorrows with cases upon cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon since then..”
”Shane, man, it’s only been a few days..”
”Yeah? And you know what I’ve got to say about THAT?!”
”Hmm?”
”TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!”
Lucas slaps his palm against his forehead. ”So then what is it that’s bothering you?!”
”Minnesota. That’s what’s bothering me. We’ve been here for weeks now. I haven’t gotten lucky ONCE. These bars are filled with big nosed women with horrible accents.”
”Holy shit! …Did your standards rise overnight?! You used to be willing to fuck anything with a pulse..”
”Right. So you should be ecstatic about my ‘raised standards’. You were going to be next on the list…
”Well……. This just turned awkward.”
”Asshole. But on a serious note, I truly feel empty. No Hollywood parties. No hot sex orgies. And it’s not like I can afford to book flights because they don’t really pay me enough here.. especially not when you’re on the losing side.”
”So, face it. It IS losing that’s bothering you.”
”Are you NOT tired of being here?!”
”I wouldn’t know your pain, honestly. I’ve been back and forth, between here and there..”
”Yeah. I bet you have, you undefeated schmuck.”
”So this IS about your losing streak!”
”Can I borrow two hundred bucks?”
”Shane, dude?”
”Yes. Losing has a lot to do with it. There’s no reason why a seasoned veteran of fifteen years’ experience in this industry should be losing to these curtain jerkers ; shafted, poorly ranked and rated. I’m used to winning all the major championships ; highlighting all the pay-per-view events, having my name in lights via marquees, billboards, and banners. But here in VOW? My career has yet to ignite. I’ve been D-listed. That guy that everyone knew, looked up to and admired back in New Edge isn’t the same guy that you see today.”
“And because of that, my motivation hasn’t really been there. Had I taken a little more accountability, and just went in with guns blazing, I wouldn’t have lost to Starrkadian. Nor would I have lost, bullshit or not, to Knight, because I would’ve been up in his face the entire time, never allowing him the opportunity to ground me. I would probably be taken more seriously. Don’t get me wrong, Luke, it’s not all about being on top, nor is it all about winning EVERYTIME. But it’s an ego thing. It’s a pride thing. Someone of my caliber will go down, yes, but when it’s the time right. Against the right competitor. And I haven’t fought that competitor here in VOW yet. I have no idea who he is. I’m not even sure I’ll recognize him when I see him, if he’s even in VOW.”
“With that said, my game face is now on. I still wish there were better looking women in Minnesota. I still wish their voices weren’t like nails on a chalkboard. But above all, I wish one of these morons luck in being this man that DESERVES victory over me. I wish Daniel J. Kennedy all the luck in the world in this match. That the gods will grant him the gift of talent. That they will grant him the opportunity to have a fighting chance against a top notch athlete as myself. Because from what I’ve seen so far? The kid’s worse than even Knight. He’d have to resort to cheap shots, low blows, and cheapskates moves. The very ones that I’m now vowing to keep a watchful eye on.”
“Daniel J. Kennedy might not have his girlfriend cutting his promos for him, but what he does is even worse. He attempts to get under his opposition’s skin by talking shit at a house show, acting like he’s getting all prepped up and ready for the real deal. Instead of hiring Shane Sparx stunt doubles, however, he ought to be more focused on training at the gym. Studying his craft. Shit, something. Even if he were at the Minnesota bars hitting on broads with perpendicular noses, it’d be a step in the right direction for him. What became of me after I watched that travesty of a promo was NOT fear. It was laughter. The kind that makes you fall out of your chair, warranting for others to come to your aid because they think you’ve gone delusional.”
“But I haven’t gone delusional quite yet. They won’t be able to call me that for sure until they see my showcase against Daniel Kennedy this week. When I’m full impact, little play. When I’m brutal. When I’m balls to the walls, pulling moves from my arsenal that you didn’t even know existed. When I’m putting my best foot forward and giving my all ; something you’ve yet to see from me here in VOW. There’s obviously a reason why I’m not making an impact, and I’m dead certain that it will be made, come hell or high water. Daniel Kennedy will just be the first to suffer. And then, down the road, I will gain redemption by taking out Starrkadian and Knight the rightful way.”
“Better get some fuckin’ urns ready!”
Lucas pats Shane on the shoulder. ”Good, good. That’s what I like to hear, man. I’m happy to see you back in natural form. The old ‘kicking ass and taking names’ persona that you’ve always been known for.”
”Shit. I created said persona, bro.”
”You probably did, you dinosaur.”
”Hey, your sister-in-law thought I had a nice cock for a t-rex..”
”Uhhhh… I’m not sure that was an appropriate joke, given that I’m not FULLY over that….. “
”Face it. I’m always going to be an envelope pusher. Just call me Hunter Va…..”
”Goodbye!”
”No! Wait, bro!”
Lucas laughs and pats Shane on the shoulder once more as they walk towards the bar area for a drink.
”Welcome back, man…”
