Post by English/Corpse on Sept 24, 2014 16:54:35 GMT -6
VOW Presents
A Casanova English Original
King Me
“Kill you all!" The clown was
laughing and screaming. "Try to stop me and I'll kill you all!
Drive you crazy and then kill you all! You can't stop me!”
― Stephen King, It
I rub my head from the ache of Armed
and Dangerous as I stand outside of a small radio studio I have time
to think to myself, these are the times I hate the most. The times I
have nothing to do. I light my cigarette and inhale deep, letting my
thoughts flow.
Sometimes I wake up to that fucking
beep, that long drawn out beep that signals the end of life.
Sometimes his face haunts me, but it shouldn't. He was the strongest
man I knew, he taught me there is no dignity in dying. It eats away
at the back of my mind like a dark dancing demon reminding me that no
matter what I do it's there. . . it is there waiting to feed off my
brain, ready to devour my memories. Sometimes I think about that cold
January night. I should of let him pull the trigger. He walked to the
edge of the water. My aunt called me, I was working late. . .
I had a piece of shit flip phone. You
know the Samsung one that you can let freeze in your drive way and it
still works perfectly fine the next day post thaw. It was my aunt and
I quickly answered.
“Hey.”
This was a time that when I saw the
name of one of my family members on the phone I would pick it up on
instinct. She was frantic on the other end saying she lost him. It
was a year since he got the diagnosis. He hadn't really been
struggling with it, but he never struggled with anything, not on the
outside anyway. I grabbed my things as quickly as I could and I raced
to my aunts house in my Toyota Corolla like it was a Ferrari.
As I shifted the car in park and the
house stared back at me with a face. The windows and door lines up
perfectly to resembles a surprised, or horrified look speared across
a cartoon face. It was like it was laughing, like something from a
horror novel. Something I never noticed before, it was like time
froze for a second as I looked down near the edge of the river to see
the silhouette of my uncle standing there, hanging by his side he
held his double barrel shot gun. If the snow hadn't been so white
that night I am not sure I would of seen him. I followed his foot
prints, foot prints because he bailed on the shoes. At this point I
know he is serious about killing himself, if he wasn't. . . he would
of brought shoes.
“Hey, what's up?”
He didn't say anything for a few moments, he just looked
to the river.
“You know, I worked down at the
factory for 40 years. I'm 63 now, forced into retirement because of
my disease. I am told, and reassured that I will never recover. I
worked so hard and I won't get to enjoy my pension, or the fruits of
my labor. Then I forget it all. I forget the woman I love, the
memories with family. Hell, I will be shitting myself in no time.”
I put my hand on his shoulder lovingly,
but he never moved. I am not sure he even felt it. He just kept the
grip tight on his shotgun and kept talking.
“Then I realized the other day. . .
that we all die. We all end up the same place. The way I am going
might be slightly uglier, but we all live and we all die. I just
can't help it. I don't want the world to win. I don't want fate to
have this control over me. I want to control my own. I want to pack
it in while I can remember how to fucking articulate, not taking
fucking medications that MIGHT make me last another year in this
hell.”
At this point I could see where he was
coming from. I could see what he was saying. It is all for nothing.
It is a race to a gigantic red light. We are all tricked, deceived
into living what is already predetermined before our existence. Maybe
that's why I am doing what I am doing, to provoke change. Then again
it is probably just self glory. . . I am not afraid to admit my sins.
Neither was my Uncle that night.
“Just put the gun down. It's not
worth it. How is Marie going to get on without you. You need to think
about other people. . .”
That's when he turned to me anger in
his eyes, anger I never knew.
“Think about other people? All I have
ever done is pay for the sins of others. I took you and your brother
in when your mother couldn't handle it. Hell I took her in. I have
slaved my entire life to make the lives of others comfortable. I am
sick and tired of worrying about that. This is my battle, my war to
fight. It will end on my terms.”
He gripped the shot gun, and went to
drag it up into his mouth. I just stood there looking into his eyes.
If he was going to do it, he had to do it like a man. He had to do it
with me looking into his eyes as he took his last breath. .. that's
how it ended anyway. He couldn't get the shot gun to his mouth before
he dropped it. He laid on the ground in a bundle as I walked over to
him. My idea of a man lying on the ground, broken and defeated by his
own biology.
I held him, I held him as he sobbed
like a child.
It's thoughts like this that take away
the highs of my journey to the top of the industry. No matter what we
say we are all fighting for that same thing. That existence that
reaches beyond our own. We set out to engrave our legacy on this
landscape, we are all racing to that finish line. .. to be the
greatest there ever has been. If you are not, or rather think you are
not, then stop lying to yourself. It's all about who has the last
word, the last laugh. It's all about being remembered, not about
laying it on the line, not for your brother, your sister, your dead
fucking uncle. It is for yourself, it is to cement your own legacy.
People are scared of pride, people fear success. I fear failure, it's
not about wining or loosing. This is about breaking that daily
routine, that mirage of lights and cameras.
If I am going to forget this all myself
one day, I am going to make damn sure YOU remember my name.
I need to focus. This week it isn't
about being the Main Event, it isn't about making an example out of a
current VOW Champion. No, this is about revenge. . . this is about
patching up that blemish on my VOW record. I have destroyed
Starrkadian. I left that big man in an emotional wreck, his fans
standing witness to the display of his true humanity at Armed and
Dangerous. I shamed him so bad that he isn't even on the card for
Breakthrough. Bobby Backdoor, Matt Slater, PKA. . . all vanish after
stepping into the squared circle with me.
I get to take that a step further. I
get to face off against one of the most decorated athletes on the VOW
roster Shane Sparx, and of course the woman who barely squeezed by my
grasp by pinning Drake Blake before I had the opportunity. I would
much prefer some. . . one on one time, but this is a kill two birds
with one stone kind of situation.
I just need to rush the thoughts out of
my head, the trauma. The realization that even after all of this
these people may not see the light, all my hard work turns to dust.
It's all about exposure it's about educating these people. It's all
about burning society to the ground to build it back up. I need to
banish my distractions, my sorrow. I need to stop feeling sorry for
myself like these wastes of walking flesh, feeding off a false hope
and a dying dream.
This is my vision, this is my lives
work.
This is my fucking manifesto.
The cigarette started to burn my lips
as it got to the end of the filter due to my neglect. I spit it on
the ground with the burn breaking my thoughts, something I couldn't
be more grateful for. This kid from the internet contacted me about
talking on his podcast. He managed to get some cheap studio time for
a live stream Casanova English promo. I like to help out the little
guy when I can, and when they allow it to be uncensored. It is much
more preferred then that stuck up prick Yates.
I've always had a love hate
relationship with critics. I always say that they might not like the
way I do things, but I always become the best. There is no denying
that I stole the show at Armed and Dangerous. I have done it every
night I have been in this company. . . win loose or draw Casanova
English is a name they talk about at the water cooler. That's exactly
what I need, I don't need anyone to like me. I don't need them to
cheer me on, I just need them to listen. Once they listen, they can't
ignore my message. Once they see, they cannot claim ignorance. This
kid Bryan showed me some of the things bloggers have been saying
about me, maybe my ideas seem a little deranged. . . but the talent
is there.
The Loose Cannon of VOW, The Modern Day
Messiah.
The gray door beside me creeks open and
a small kid with freckles and deep red hair, maybe 120 pounds soaking
wet looks up at me through coke bottle glasses. He came out of the
door fully, using his slender leg to keep it open just enough. He
extends his hand in my direction for me to shake it, and I do.
Surprisingly strong grip for someone of his stature.
“Hello Bryan Combs. Honor to meet you
Mr. English. This honestly could be my big break. People can't stand
you, but they love to hear what you have to say. It is a phenomenon
that doesn't come around often in the wrestling industry.”
“Well it is good to be here. Much
better then Yates.”
“Well would it be okay if I did a bit
of an interview before you get into your promo? Also would you be
interested in taking some calls?”
“You're asking a lot for a free gig
kid. You can ask me a few questions, but I won't be taking any calls
today. I don't need the stupidity.”
He shrugs and holds the door open for
me to follow behind. We walk up a few flights of stairs to a metal
door. Pulling a key from his pocket the little ginger unlocks the
door and enters. It is a small sound proof studio that is stuffier
then my apartment.
“It's nothing spectacular, but it
will do the trick.”
He says as he takes a seat in front of
his microphone and puts his headset on. He motions for me to go to
the other side of the table where there is an identical set up. I put
the headset on.
“Hello fans of WrestleTalk NEXT I am
here with one of the fastest rising wrestlers in the industry. After
only 2 years of activity on wrestling scene he has done a lot. Maybe
not in terms of championship gold, but the list of people he has
beaten is astonishing. That being said many cannot stand your
attitude Mr. English.”
“Well that is understandable. I am
not going out there to get fans screaming my name because I fill
their heads with lies and false hopes. All I can do is be honest, be
who I am. If they don't like that then they will stop paying money to
watch me embarrass their idols week after week, after week.”
“Well there is no denying your in
ring ability. The thing people say about you the most is that you
choke under that big match situations. We say it in IPW where you had
a shot at the World Championship twice, also you lost the US
Championship after a short yet impressive reign. It seems like the
trend has continued onto VOW. You are able to beat former World
Champions, rising stars, but you had that match with PKA for the Xcel
Championship at Heatstroke and once again you came out empty handed.
“
I lick my lips as I gain some
unexpected respect for the fragile man across the table who looks at
me with relaxed intensity. Obviously we have gained our reputations
the same way, by being blunt, by being different, by being honest.
“I've never had a one on one shot at
the IPW World Championship for the record. Honestly though I have had
some difficulty with that. . . that is just the truth. I don't know
if it is the fact that I get overzealous or stuck in the moment Maybe
I get too hungry. I allow myself to bask in the moment for a little
too long, and take too much pride in the suffering of others. . . or
rather the attention it brings. Not necessarily the attention it
brings to me, but The Revolution. That and I feel as though I have
always brought the very best out in my opponents. I think that is why
I put on such intriguing matches, it's that passion. Every time you
get into the ring with me there is a degree of hate, or respect,
fear. . . there is some emotional element to it that I feel is unique
to my wrestling style. Sometimes I push people and it bites me, I'm
not afraid to admit that. . . and I am not ashamed that it has
happened. The people that I pushed to the limits went on to
greatness. Whether people like it or not I'm the work horse here. I
am that guy that is going to carry this place on his back. . . and
one day I will decide the fate of VOW.”
“This Revolution you speak of. . . it
seems harmless in a way, but the deliverance is what people don't
seem to enjoy about it. The idea of striking back against the man. .
. why do you spread so much hatred directed toward the everyman if
you want them to rise?”
“Let's just say we have a dark past.
I know the animal that rests in every single human. In a way they
have to embrace that in order to civilize themselves. I don't want
every man to follow me to new world order. I want the strong the
smart, the tortured, and the enlightened. I want to section off the
sheep for their own good, not eradicate them.”
“Sounds slightly totalitarian. . .”
The kid is smart I will give him that.
He was aggressive, the kind of journalist I used to be.
“Nah, I am not suggesting that we
kill anyone. I am not suggesting genocide. I am just saying let the
truly morally driven intellectuals to run the economy equally. Then
the dumbest of creature can at least live a sustainable life before
they die off. It's about discovering your full potential. It is about
eating the food even though you may not like the taste Bryan.”
He smirks at me and continues.
“Well alright allow me to give you
the microphone to cut your live promo here on WrestleTalk NEXT
presented by Bryan Combs the man facing Vanessa and current VOW Zero
Gravity Champion Shane Sparx at Breakthrough one of the most hated
men in wrestling. . . Casanova English.”
I clear my throat at his introduction
as he plays a sound reel of wrestling announcers freaking out about
very memorable moments in the industry, as it says Bryan Combs
exclusive I begin to speak.
“Hello everyone tuning in out there
over the air waves. Casanova English here to discuss my upcoming
match with a few major members of the budding VOW roster. I have
slight histories with both these individuals. With Vanessa you see
she was the person to deal me my first official loss, though I must
stress that she didn't pin my shoulders to the mat. On top of that I
have defeated her sister Reya Serra twice, that has to get into your
fragmented little mind a little bit V! Then there is Shane Sparx a
man that has really proved himself to be a formidable athlete in the
industry for over a decade. On top of that I pushed his little buddy
Lucas to the limits of his patience causing him to snap and hit me
with a set of brass knuckles, don't think I have forgotten. You will
pay for the sin of your comrade Shane.”
“The only person who had a more
physically demanding and grueling match then me at Armed and
Dangerous was Shane Sparx. Shane who wants to make a new start here
in VOW. A man who wants to help build up the talent base here in VOW.
I mean that must be your plan. Start at the bottom to seem
dominating. Well isn't that cute. You walked out of Armed and
Dangerous with a championship. Something I think you need. It's not
about starting at the bottom and earning your stripes in this facade
you put on for all the little boys and girls. It is about yourself,
if you collect every belt no one can doubt you right, no one can say
that you were treated special based on your reputation? All I see is
a coward. A coward scared to live up and embrace his full potential.
Would you be happy with that championship had this been a year ago?
Two ago? You claim to want to go forward Mr. Sparx, but it looks like
you are floating in reverse. You want to slum it out on the bottom of
the card? Is that really what Shane Sparx does? Hell, I heard you got
cat fished. What kind of self respecting man gets fucking cat fished?
Clearly your mind isn't in the right place Shane. Add that massive
dive you took obtaining your Zero Gravity Championship. . . Shane
isn't so sparky all the sudden.”
“Shane it is in your eyes, your peter
pan. Your a fucking man child Shane. Your are chasing nostalgia. If
you want to start at the bottom and begin another epic rise up the
ranks that you have been noted for it is inevitable that you would
cross into my path. I never thought I would have the pleasure of
adding Shane Sparx to my list of victims so quickly. See this
situation as I played it out in my brain was a little different. I
thought that Shane would be another stone I step on toward greatness.
It seems the roles have reversed. It's plain to see really.”
“You play chess don't you Shane? If
you do it should be plain to see. . .”
“I'm the king around here.”
I crack my knuckles leaning back in my
chair as Bryan nods listening to me cut the promo. He takes notes
here and there. He could be a really useful member of the wrestling
community later on. They need that, they need the unbiased spunky no
fear journalism that is presented in other industries of the world.
“Then there is Vanessa. See loosing
to Vanessa hurt a lot more then loosing to PKA. See PKA actually
bested me. I brought him to his limits and he pushed back and he
pinned me to the mat for a 3 count. Vanessa didn't do that to me.
There is one thing I can't stand it is a loss based on luck. Yeah,
luck. Sure Vanessa you can call it an opportunity, but to me it was
luck. You have the chance to pull the wool over my eye again at
Breakthrough. I could lay Shane out and you could swoop in there
picking up the scraps like you did last time you beautiful vulture.”
“If I want the true claim as The King
here in VOW it is important that I vanquish The Queen. Isn't that
what you call it when you loose your mind? When you get that elevated
intensity? They say it happens when you take a knock to the head.
Well V, at Breakthrough I'm going to hit you so hard your going to
think you're Princess Dianne. Vanessa that is what I like about you,
that intensity, that spunk. I can't wait to extinguish it. The
feeling of destroying your sister's will twice will only be
extenuated by destroying you at Breakthrough and avenging an
unjustified loss.”
“Not even double roasted espresso is
going to wake you up from the beating I plan to deliver. This isn't
about stepping on two very large stones on my way to immortality.
This is about you two former World Champions recognizing ther spot in
VOW.”
“The industry is changing, and there
is no room for you anymore. This is where The Revolution begins. . .”
“It ends at your front door.”
I flick my microphone off as an outro
plays. Bryan looks at me clapping, as the outro stops Bryan says a
few words to his viewers.
“We will not be taking calls tonight.
If you have any questions directed towards me please send them to my
Facebook page, or Twitter. I will gladly answer them. English will
not be taking any questions, but thank you for tuning in. The
interview and promo in its entirety will be uploaded to our web page.
Once again I am Bryan Combs, this was a WrestleTalk NEXT EXCLUSIVE!”
He turns off his microphone. I like
this kid. He asked tough questions, and he wasn’t afraid to let his
own personality shine. He reminded me of happier times, of better
times. He reminded me what it was like when I didn't realize how dark
the world was. He reminded me of how things were before he got sick,
before I had to hold the responsibility of guiding my inspiration to
the grave.
“Thanks for the time Bryan. How about
we set up a few more of these. We might not agree on a lot, but its
nice to have a person like that. It brings out the best in you. Plus
you're not one of those social elite snobs like Yates, and the staff
at VOW.”
His eyes light up.
“Yeah? I didn't expect that response
from you. Sure, I'd be more then happy to put out a few more of your
promos. Thanks a lot English.”
He sticks his hand out and I shake it,
making sure to squeeze harder after underestimating his grip the
first time. I walk out of the small studio closing the door behind
me. I wonder if my Uncle would be proud of my destiny.
After all I'm just another King without
a crown.