Post by jermainebrown on Jan 29, 2015 23:55:16 GMT -6
Shay McClure and Jermaine Brown remain in the same room as Husky Harris and the Narrarator. Shay is wearing a frontal baby carrier where baby OJ rests by the door.
Shay McClure
Yo my main man let's get the hell outta here
Before Husky Harris over there starts calling us dear.
Jermaine Brown
What a splendid idea mine negger cater-cousin! But what about thy stalker, fairest
Right anon he hath a mouth full of Sir Husky Harris.
Shay McClure
Fuck dat shit mang that stalker is on his own
Maybe next time his stanking ass will put on some cologne.
When Husky Harris places the stalker in his bed,
That poor bastard will wish Fat Tony had put a bullet in his head!
Jermaine, Shay and Baby OJ race to the GangStar mobile except it isn't actually there. Instead they have to drive a car the narrator stole from somewhere.
Jermaine Brown
Thy sincerely wish the narrat'r to be fine,
He shalt recov'r from this in due time.
But we hast moo important matters to prepare for,
At double jeopardy we art going to war!
Shay McClure
I cannot wait to get my hands on Blue Suede Bruce
So that I can knock out that nigga's tooth!
As for the punk they called Josh Stewart,
He is almost as exciting as a wet fart!
Jermaine Brown
Anon now mine negger cater-cousin bewray thy opposition their due respect,
And be careful with thy choice of dialect.
Remember that we hast thy young child around,
Who can hear every sound.
'Tis thy wish f'r young OJ to grow into a gentle young lad,
Otherwise thy will become very sad.
Shay McClure
If Fat Tony has his way,
Young OJ won't live another day!
Once Fat Tony realizes we lost all his cash,
He will certainly kill our ass!
Jermaine Brown
Fie! If Fulsome Tony kills us both with this hatch,
Then howeth will we ev'r make it to thy double ladder match?
Shay McClure
We won't Jermaine man cause we will be deader then hell,
Then before the Double Jeopardy show they will toll 10 bells.
Say Jermaine man I got an idea- you have a wad of dough,
Why don't you just pay off the witness, yo?
Jermaine Brown
Thy wish 'twas that easy mine negger cater-cousin but thy forgot the chinks at mine residence. We wilt find some chinks nay matter whence!
Thy hast a plan that will make us some chinks,
Wilt also preparing us f'r thy double jeopardy sync!
Shay McClure
Yeah, yeah thats the spirit! I cannot wait to smash and crush the opposition.
Then I will chop them down with the ax, it's gonna be a complete demolition.
There's no where to hide cause The Gang Stars will get you....
All of a sudden Doobie appears out of nowhere in the back seat and he smells like poo. He seems to be high on grass.
Doobie
Did one of you faggots mention green?
You... make... me.... feel.... like....a...... tee-nage.... dream.
Don't never look back, don't never look back.....
Shay McClure
Shit this nigga is whack!
Where are we headed my Jermaine man, I don't know how much I cant take,
Before I sock Doobie in his one eyed snake.
I know his life is pretty low,
But I figured he would at least offer some blow.
Jermaine Brown
Relax mine negger cater-cousin f'r we hast arriv'd at our destination,
Thy hast already fill'd out our orientation.
This adventure will prepare our mind and corse f'r thy upcoming match in township of Lincoln,
Oh joy! Winning thy tag garnets will be such glorious fun!
Jermaine wheels the stolen car into a parking lot as the three men exit the car and enter a large building. Shay still has OJ in his baby carried. They are all met by a very nice, attractive girl.
Girl
Hello! You must be the gentleman that called,
The show will air next fall.
In less than five minutes we go on the air,
There is no time for the stylist to do your hair.
The helpful young girl hands the three men their name tags and they put them on. She then rushes the men on stage where the theme begins to play.....
Dada dada da na na da na na DUNT da nunda ... na na na na DA na na na na do do do do do do do dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt dun
THIS IS JEOPARDY!!!
Lets meet todays contestants....
An environmentalist from Colorado (picture flashes of Doobie looking stoned out of his mind).
A lifetime philanthropist from Harlem (picture flashes of Jermaine Brown smiling big).
And a Black Guy from Scotland (picture flashes of Shay McClure looking gangsta).
And now.... HERE is the host of JEOPARDY.... ALEX TREBEK!!!
Alex enters the stage as Shay with OJ, Jermaine and Doobie stand before their respective podiums with their buzzers in hand.
Alex Trebek
Thank you Johnny! Welcome back to wrestling week at Jeopardy! Good luck contestants. Such a cute baby! Lets take a look at the categories shall we?
Before the categories can appear on the screen, Doobie interrupts Alex's routine.
Doobie
Far out man that is a sweet moustache but I must ask,
Do you happen to have any grass?
Alex Trebek
Pardon me?
Shay McClure
What my boy here Doobie was tryin to say,
Is does yo mutha fuckin' ass have any weed today?
Alex Trebek
We absolutely do not condone or tolerate that type of foul language on Jeopardy!
Jermaine Brown
Mine apologies sir Trebek f'r mine cater-cousins,
Thy assure thou of nay moo fussing.
Prithee proce'd with the bewray,
F'r us three can showcase our wits today!
Alex Trebek
Lets take a look at the categories shall we?
It Was the 80s.... Gems.... Entrance Music.... Fairy Tales... Men of Few Words.... Hummingbirds.... Big Stuff. Doobie we will start with you.
Doobie
I don't believe in fairy tales,
Nor do I believe in heaven and hell....
Alex Trebek
So are you selecting fairy tales as your category?
Doobie passes out on his podium and begins snoring loudly.
Alex Trebek
Ummm Mr. McClure, would you like to select a category?
Shay McClure
Gimme hummingbirds for eight hun-ard Mr. Trebek,
That's what I got from yo girl in the back.
Alex Trebek
Okay nevermind, Mr. Brown would you like to select a category?
Jermaine Brown
Thy shalt select Big Stuff for eighteen stones.
Alex Trebek
Big Stuff for eight hundred dollars it is. The USAs tallest thermometer stretches 134 feet high matching what building in California?
Shay buzzes in.
Shay McClure
What is my dang-a-lang?
Trebek looks at his judges with a look of disgust.
Alex Trebek
You have got to be shitting me!
Suddenly there is loud ruckus amongst the studio, you can tell the host is ready to go.
Alex Trebek
What the fuck is going on now? Can't we just play god damned Jeopardy!
Fat Tony suddenly appears on set of Jeopardy!
Alex Trebek
Who the fuck are you?
Shay McClure
Ohhh no! It is Fat Tony and he is very pissed,
Watch out for he is about to throw fists!
Fat Tony pulls out his pistol as the crowd begins to scream and shout. Many of the viewers climb out of their seats and begin to run out. Alex, Shay, OJ and Jermaine stand still by the door as Doobie continues to snore.
Fat Tony
You mother fuckers didn't deliver the goods to that witness,
Now you bout to get the business!
Jermaine Brown
Sir Tony prithee put the caliver down,
All the way to the ground.
Haply we can break with this matter like gentle men,
Then we will all get the win.
Fat Tony
Time for talking is up, you idiots should've ran,
Because I am going to start with you old man!
Fat Tony points the gun at Jermaine Brown.
Shay McClure
Noooooooo!!!
Please don't go!!!!
BANG!!!
Fat Tony fires off a round,
But Shay McClure tackles Jermaine to the ground.
The bullet narrowly misses Jermaine's neck,
But it strikes right into Alex Trebek!
Fat Tony attempts to re-load but instead jams his gun,
The break gives Jermaine and Shay time to run.
Doobie is oblivious to what is going on,
It looks like Alex Trebek is almost gone.
The paramedics arrive on the set and begin CPR,
While Shay and Jermaine take off to their car.
Meanwhile Fat Tony cusses at his gun,
His life of crime is most likely done.
For the cops have tackled him to the floor,
While Alex Trebek lay a bloody gore.
As he takes his final breath,
Doobie awakens and takes a hit of meth. (The cops arrest him also.)
Two men going to jail while one is dead,
All the while Shay and Jermaine head off to bed.
Where they will have sweet dreams of winning the titles from Twin City,
Then Shay will take Jermaine to the club to see some big ass titties.
Thy End.
Shay McClure
Yo my main man let's get the hell outta here
Before Husky Harris over there starts calling us dear.
Jermaine Brown
What a splendid idea mine negger cater-cousin! But what about thy stalker, fairest
Right anon he hath a mouth full of Sir Husky Harris.
Shay McClure
Fuck dat shit mang that stalker is on his own
Maybe next time his stanking ass will put on some cologne.
When Husky Harris places the stalker in his bed,
That poor bastard will wish Fat Tony had put a bullet in his head!
Jermaine, Shay and Baby OJ race to the GangStar mobile except it isn't actually there. Instead they have to drive a car the narrator stole from somewhere.
Jermaine Brown
Thy sincerely wish the narrat'r to be fine,
He shalt recov'r from this in due time.
But we hast moo important matters to prepare for,
At double jeopardy we art going to war!
Shay McClure
I cannot wait to get my hands on Blue Suede Bruce
So that I can knock out that nigga's tooth!
As for the punk they called Josh Stewart,
He is almost as exciting as a wet fart!
Jermaine Brown
Anon now mine negger cater-cousin bewray thy opposition their due respect,
And be careful with thy choice of dialect.
Remember that we hast thy young child around,
Who can hear every sound.
'Tis thy wish f'r young OJ to grow into a gentle young lad,
Otherwise thy will become very sad.
Shay McClure
If Fat Tony has his way,
Young OJ won't live another day!
Once Fat Tony realizes we lost all his cash,
He will certainly kill our ass!
Jermaine Brown
Fie! If Fulsome Tony kills us both with this hatch,
Then howeth will we ev'r make it to thy double ladder match?
Shay McClure
We won't Jermaine man cause we will be deader then hell,
Then before the Double Jeopardy show they will toll 10 bells.
Say Jermaine man I got an idea- you have a wad of dough,
Why don't you just pay off the witness, yo?
Jermaine Brown
Thy wish 'twas that easy mine negger cater-cousin but thy forgot the chinks at mine residence. We wilt find some chinks nay matter whence!
Thy hast a plan that will make us some chinks,
Wilt also preparing us f'r thy double jeopardy sync!
Shay McClure
Yeah, yeah thats the spirit! I cannot wait to smash and crush the opposition.
Then I will chop them down with the ax, it's gonna be a complete demolition.
There's no where to hide cause The Gang Stars will get you....
All of a sudden Doobie appears out of nowhere in the back seat and he smells like poo. He seems to be high on grass.
Doobie
Did one of you faggots mention green?
You... make... me.... feel.... like....a...... tee-nage.... dream.
Don't never look back, don't never look back.....
Shay McClure
Shit this nigga is whack!
Where are we headed my Jermaine man, I don't know how much I cant take,
Before I sock Doobie in his one eyed snake.
I know his life is pretty low,
But I figured he would at least offer some blow.
Jermaine Brown
Relax mine negger cater-cousin f'r we hast arriv'd at our destination,
Thy hast already fill'd out our orientation.
This adventure will prepare our mind and corse f'r thy upcoming match in township of Lincoln,
Oh joy! Winning thy tag garnets will be such glorious fun!
Jermaine wheels the stolen car into a parking lot as the three men exit the car and enter a large building. Shay still has OJ in his baby carried. They are all met by a very nice, attractive girl.
Girl
Hello! You must be the gentleman that called,
The show will air next fall.
In less than five minutes we go on the air,
There is no time for the stylist to do your hair.
The helpful young girl hands the three men their name tags and they put them on. She then rushes the men on stage where the theme begins to play.....
Dada dada da na na da na na DUNT da nunda ... na na na na DA na na na na do do do do do do do dunt dunt dunt dunt dunt dun
THIS IS JEOPARDY!!!
Lets meet todays contestants....
An environmentalist from Colorado (picture flashes of Doobie looking stoned out of his mind).
A lifetime philanthropist from Harlem (picture flashes of Jermaine Brown smiling big).
And a Black Guy from Scotland (picture flashes of Shay McClure looking gangsta).
And now.... HERE is the host of JEOPARDY.... ALEX TREBEK!!!
Alex enters the stage as Shay with OJ, Jermaine and Doobie stand before their respective podiums with their buzzers in hand.
Alex Trebek
Thank you Johnny! Welcome back to wrestling week at Jeopardy! Good luck contestants. Such a cute baby! Lets take a look at the categories shall we?
Before the categories can appear on the screen, Doobie interrupts Alex's routine.
Doobie
Far out man that is a sweet moustache but I must ask,
Do you happen to have any grass?
Alex Trebek
Pardon me?
Shay McClure
What my boy here Doobie was tryin to say,
Is does yo mutha fuckin' ass have any weed today?
Alex Trebek
We absolutely do not condone or tolerate that type of foul language on Jeopardy!
Jermaine Brown
Mine apologies sir Trebek f'r mine cater-cousins,
Thy assure thou of nay moo fussing.
Prithee proce'd with the bewray,
F'r us three can showcase our wits today!
Alex Trebek
Lets take a look at the categories shall we?
It Was the 80s.... Gems.... Entrance Music.... Fairy Tales... Men of Few Words.... Hummingbirds.... Big Stuff. Doobie we will start with you.
Doobie
I don't believe in fairy tales,
Nor do I believe in heaven and hell....
Alex Trebek
So are you selecting fairy tales as your category?
Doobie passes out on his podium and begins snoring loudly.
Alex Trebek
Ummm Mr. McClure, would you like to select a category?
Shay McClure
Gimme hummingbirds for eight hun-ard Mr. Trebek,
That's what I got from yo girl in the back.
Alex Trebek
Okay nevermind, Mr. Brown would you like to select a category?
Jermaine Brown
Thy shalt select Big Stuff for eighteen stones.
Alex Trebek
Big Stuff for eight hundred dollars it is. The USAs tallest thermometer stretches 134 feet high matching what building in California?
Shay buzzes in.
Shay McClure
What is my dang-a-lang?
Trebek looks at his judges with a look of disgust.
Alex Trebek
You have got to be shitting me!
Suddenly there is loud ruckus amongst the studio, you can tell the host is ready to go.
Alex Trebek
What the fuck is going on now? Can't we just play god damned Jeopardy!
Fat Tony suddenly appears on set of Jeopardy!
Alex Trebek
Who the fuck are you?
Shay McClure
Ohhh no! It is Fat Tony and he is very pissed,
Watch out for he is about to throw fists!
Fat Tony pulls out his pistol as the crowd begins to scream and shout. Many of the viewers climb out of their seats and begin to run out. Alex, Shay, OJ and Jermaine stand still by the door as Doobie continues to snore.
Fat Tony
You mother fuckers didn't deliver the goods to that witness,
Now you bout to get the business!
Jermaine Brown
Sir Tony prithee put the caliver down,
All the way to the ground.
Haply we can break with this matter like gentle men,
Then we will all get the win.
Fat Tony
Time for talking is up, you idiots should've ran,
Because I am going to start with you old man!
Fat Tony points the gun at Jermaine Brown.
Shay McClure
Noooooooo!!!
Please don't go!!!!
BANG!!!
Fat Tony fires off a round,
But Shay McClure tackles Jermaine to the ground.
The bullet narrowly misses Jermaine's neck,
But it strikes right into Alex Trebek!
Fat Tony attempts to re-load but instead jams his gun,
The break gives Jermaine and Shay time to run.
Doobie is oblivious to what is going on,
It looks like Alex Trebek is almost gone.
The paramedics arrive on the set and begin CPR,
While Shay and Jermaine take off to their car.
Meanwhile Fat Tony cusses at his gun,
His life of crime is most likely done.
For the cops have tackled him to the floor,
While Alex Trebek lay a bloody gore.
As he takes his final breath,
Doobie awakens and takes a hit of meth. (The cops arrest him also.)
Two men going to jail while one is dead,
All the while Shay and Jermaine head off to bed.
Where they will have sweet dreams of winning the titles from Twin City,
Then Shay will take Jermaine to the club to see some big ass titties.
Thy End.
