Post by PKA on Jun 2, 2014 13:58:06 GMT -6
Without a burning flame from a candle nearby, the room would be completely dark. PKA is faintly seen standing near that light as it flickers and covers his face in different parts with the changing of the flame's patterns due to a breeze, a breath, whatever it might be. Strands of his black hair fall over the front of his face, covering parts of his eyeliner-outlined eyes. Those eyes are puffy and it looks as though he may be emotional. A single tear falls slowly down his white cheek as he holds a framed 8x10 photograph in his hands. All we see is the back of the photograph but PKA looks down upon it with sorrow in his eyes.
"This was a time when things were simpler. And not simple as in we had less. Nah. Simple, as in, less to worry about. Oh, sure. I'd come home and have to deal with actually dispensing the food, but there was always food. Maybe the toilet paper would run out but there would always be a place to take a dump. The bed might had gotten old and unkempt, but it was comfortable and it was a place to sleep. There were no issues with the car outside of the fact that gas prices continued to rise. But even then - all was well. And then one day ... it all went away. You don't quite know what you have until its gone. I know, that has been said many a time. But honestly, it is the truth. Trust me, though, I knew what I had. I took care of what I had and I loved what I had. And now that its gone? I miss it so much. I want those feelings back that I had when it was still around. The comfort of knowing that it was there every time I would come home. It'd greet me with happiness and glee. Now, what is there? There's hope, and wish-fulness, and who knows what else."
He shrugs his shoulders and wipes a tear from his cheek. PKA scratches his scruffy beard before continuing.
"Darkness is deemed as evil but in my world, I welcome the fade to black. That was it. That's what I had. It was me and the fade to black that made things amazing. Because, once I got home, I could be whoever I wanted to be and not be judged for it. But now? I'm always here. I have nowhere else to be that somebody else. And you might think BUT HEY.. isn't that a good thing? FUCK NAH it ain't.. I wanna be somebody else. Didn't you fucking LOVE playing pretend as a kid? Well so did I, and I still do. There's nothing more than I'd like right now than a little reality, because it seems that all I'm doing lately is playing pretend...just in my own mind...not in front of all of you."
He takes a deep breath and releases it into the air. Rolling his eyes, PKA continues to speak.
"The simple fact of the matter is that I was feeling great back then and now I feel like shit. Why? Mostly my doing. Drugs. Alcohol. Pills. Sex. Whatever. But none of that would had been possible, in all seriousness, without THIS.."
PKA turns the 8x10 around and reveals an old action shot of him from 2003 with the old NWO International Championship as he stands bloody, sweaty, and proud as champion. This was the highlight era of his career, and since then, PKA has had trouble getting back on his feet and solidifying himself as something to take seriously in the wrestling business.
"I knew that when I came home, when I went out to clubs, when I did meet n' greets, whatever it was.. that this would always be there."
He points to himself on the photo.
"That is what kept me going. No matter how many times I got beat down, I always knew that I did something special at one time and that nobody could take that away from me. I hope SO badly to one day be able to see IT again...but will I? Is it dead and gone like JT and TI? I honestly don't know the answer to that, because you see, I've tried and tried to recapture it a few times now. I want that lightning that's trapped in a bottle again. I want to feel that same feeling again. And now, here in VOW, I hope to realize that. You see, with all of this talk of the past, understand that I am also speaking to the present. I'm speaking to Vanessa, and to Scott Knight. I'm speaking to Bobby Backdoor, Joka, to Slater and everyone. I'm speaking to you, the fans, and letting you know that I'm trying to get over the loss of a better time and move past it, but at the same time, I believe that I can have that feeling again...for you...but most of all...for me. I'm speaking to myself. If anything, this is a long-winded pep talk for myself. Why bring a camera into it? Cause that's part of my little world. And why ramble on this long? Because it's all about the build. Everything in wrestling has to build to something bigger, and that's what my career is all about - the build. A slow burn, if you will..."
PKA places the framed 8x10 on top of a fireplace mantle, next to a burning, white candle. The flame lights up the image and PKA, the profile we see of his face now shadowed, continues.
"And that's why tomorrow night at the Verizon Wireless Center in Mankato, Minnesota, when I step into the ring with Scott Knight, this is not about titles, blood wars, gimmick matches, control over a company, or even control over that fine piece of pale flesh that accompanies him to the ring.."
A slight side-grin comes over the face of PKA.
"Hey L.L."
PKA licks his lips and lowers his head, his hands clasped together under his chin.
"I hope that Scott Knight is prepared for his first loss in VOW. I hope that Vanessa will sit down at a Starbucks with me someday, share a cup of joe, and take a Sharbie with me. I hope that my past looks down upon me and sees that I'm moving on and upward. I hope that upper management sees that this isn't a work, it's a straight up shoot. I'm here to bust my ass and if I suffer some losses along the way, then SO .. BE .. IT!"
PKA slams his hands up against the wall.
"I have fought and clawed my way to the top in the past, but that isn't what makes me hungry. Oh, hell no. What makes me crave this so much more is the fall I took from that top. And no, I didn't just slip down a nice, grassy hill. Nah, this shit was a God Damn rock-filled, tree limb-covered, porcupine-ridden, scorpion-laden mountain that never stopped. I rolled, I bounced, I bled, I bruised...all the while falling...continually falling. I'm sick and TIRED of falling! Scott Knight, remember that I love the fade to black, and when the darkness of Night finally passes, I will love the light even more, because it will be the dawn of a new era for your Ultraviolent Perfectionist. The sunrise is symbolic of my comeback, and the sunlight will be my spotlight, guiding me to greener pastures here in VOW. And how fitting that before the sun can rise, I must go through the Knight.. and once I do, that is when the true fun begins."
PKA turns toward the camera completely and smiles.
"Fade to black is fine. But..fade to back? No. Never. Ever forward. No fear. No limits. Just PAIN."
He holds his hand over the candle flame and the room goes dark.
"This was a time when things were simpler. And not simple as in we had less. Nah. Simple, as in, less to worry about. Oh, sure. I'd come home and have to deal with actually dispensing the food, but there was always food. Maybe the toilet paper would run out but there would always be a place to take a dump. The bed might had gotten old and unkempt, but it was comfortable and it was a place to sleep. There were no issues with the car outside of the fact that gas prices continued to rise. But even then - all was well. And then one day ... it all went away. You don't quite know what you have until its gone. I know, that has been said many a time. But honestly, it is the truth. Trust me, though, I knew what I had. I took care of what I had and I loved what I had. And now that its gone? I miss it so much. I want those feelings back that I had when it was still around. The comfort of knowing that it was there every time I would come home. It'd greet me with happiness and glee. Now, what is there? There's hope, and wish-fulness, and who knows what else."
He shrugs his shoulders and wipes a tear from his cheek. PKA scratches his scruffy beard before continuing.
"Darkness is deemed as evil but in my world, I welcome the fade to black. That was it. That's what I had. It was me and the fade to black that made things amazing. Because, once I got home, I could be whoever I wanted to be and not be judged for it. But now? I'm always here. I have nowhere else to be that somebody else. And you might think BUT HEY.. isn't that a good thing? FUCK NAH it ain't.. I wanna be somebody else. Didn't you fucking LOVE playing pretend as a kid? Well so did I, and I still do. There's nothing more than I'd like right now than a little reality, because it seems that all I'm doing lately is playing pretend...just in my own mind...not in front of all of you."
He takes a deep breath and releases it into the air. Rolling his eyes, PKA continues to speak.
"The simple fact of the matter is that I was feeling great back then and now I feel like shit. Why? Mostly my doing. Drugs. Alcohol. Pills. Sex. Whatever. But none of that would had been possible, in all seriousness, without THIS.."
PKA turns the 8x10 around and reveals an old action shot of him from 2003 with the old NWO International Championship as he stands bloody, sweaty, and proud as champion. This was the highlight era of his career, and since then, PKA has had trouble getting back on his feet and solidifying himself as something to take seriously in the wrestling business.
"I knew that when I came home, when I went out to clubs, when I did meet n' greets, whatever it was.. that this would always be there."
He points to himself on the photo.
"That is what kept me going. No matter how many times I got beat down, I always knew that I did something special at one time and that nobody could take that away from me. I hope SO badly to one day be able to see IT again...but will I? Is it dead and gone like JT and TI? I honestly don't know the answer to that, because you see, I've tried and tried to recapture it a few times now. I want that lightning that's trapped in a bottle again. I want to feel that same feeling again. And now, here in VOW, I hope to realize that. You see, with all of this talk of the past, understand that I am also speaking to the present. I'm speaking to Vanessa, and to Scott Knight. I'm speaking to Bobby Backdoor, Joka, to Slater and everyone. I'm speaking to you, the fans, and letting you know that I'm trying to get over the loss of a better time and move past it, but at the same time, I believe that I can have that feeling again...for you...but most of all...for me. I'm speaking to myself. If anything, this is a long-winded pep talk for myself. Why bring a camera into it? Cause that's part of my little world. And why ramble on this long? Because it's all about the build. Everything in wrestling has to build to something bigger, and that's what my career is all about - the build. A slow burn, if you will..."
PKA places the framed 8x10 on top of a fireplace mantle, next to a burning, white candle. The flame lights up the image and PKA, the profile we see of his face now shadowed, continues.
"And that's why tomorrow night at the Verizon Wireless Center in Mankato, Minnesota, when I step into the ring with Scott Knight, this is not about titles, blood wars, gimmick matches, control over a company, or even control over that fine piece of pale flesh that accompanies him to the ring.."
A slight side-grin comes over the face of PKA.
"Hey L.L."
PKA licks his lips and lowers his head, his hands clasped together under his chin.
"I hope that Scott Knight is prepared for his first loss in VOW. I hope that Vanessa will sit down at a Starbucks with me someday, share a cup of joe, and take a Sharbie with me. I hope that my past looks down upon me and sees that I'm moving on and upward. I hope that upper management sees that this isn't a work, it's a straight up shoot. I'm here to bust my ass and if I suffer some losses along the way, then SO .. BE .. IT!"
PKA slams his hands up against the wall.
"I have fought and clawed my way to the top in the past, but that isn't what makes me hungry. Oh, hell no. What makes me crave this so much more is the fall I took from that top. And no, I didn't just slip down a nice, grassy hill. Nah, this shit was a God Damn rock-filled, tree limb-covered, porcupine-ridden, scorpion-laden mountain that never stopped. I rolled, I bounced, I bled, I bruised...all the while falling...continually falling. I'm sick and TIRED of falling! Scott Knight, remember that I love the fade to black, and when the darkness of Night finally passes, I will love the light even more, because it will be the dawn of a new era for your Ultraviolent Perfectionist. The sunrise is symbolic of my comeback, and the sunlight will be my spotlight, guiding me to greener pastures here in VOW. And how fitting that before the sun can rise, I must go through the Knight.. and once I do, that is when the true fun begins."
PKA turns toward the camera completely and smiles.
"Fade to black is fine. But..fade to back? No. Never. Ever forward. No fear. No limits. Just PAIN."
He holds his hand over the candle flame and the room goes dark.