Post by Elskerinne on Jul 21, 2014 13:14:47 GMT -6
"We don't help people who don't help themselves."
My mother's tone held resentment. As though this man, sittin' against a telephone pole with a weathered sign at his side and small paper cup in his hands... had personally offended her. As though he'd wronged her... wronged the world. He shivered in the cold Autumn weather, turning his head away from her's and others' comments. Their words were far more harsh than the blistering winds of that month. And I would look up at her, innocent blue eyes full of confusion... wondering why... and yet, I'd listen... and keep walking, my worried gaze hovering on him for only a few moments, before I turned away. Five years old.
"We aren't wasting time on this shameless neanderthal."
But that was the funny thing, about my mother's comment. There was nothing but shame in his eyes, as he let his sign beg for any kind of help. Money... food. Anything. Too bad she didn't care. Things had changed. Our home wasn't really a home. The feeling...? Like... the calm before a storm. Like... the moment when you knew a tornado or something was about to rip apart the very foundations of your life. But... it didn't happen. It was just that feeling... of suspense. Where your chest hurt, paranoia slashed at your subconscious like the knife that you'd point at your throat... wanting to end this endless feeling of dread, but not being able to. That feeling. Even then, she yanked me by my arm, draggin' me down the sidewalk. My eyes only glanced back once, before I turned away. Ten years old.
"He got what was coming to him..."
The words trickled from my mouth, like poison, drippin' into this poor man's bloodstream. He'd gotten older and older. More and more helpless. And my friends would laugh. High five each other. Take part in the actions I was subconsciously taught by the snake that called herself a mother. Kick him. Again and again. First his stomach, then his face. Yell at him... call him pathetic... a waste of space. He wasn't worth the money we'd been given for silly little tasks, the money we claimed we 'earned'. Waste it away on alcohol and drugs, but turn around and call him trash and a mistake of God's. I wish I'd turned away. Eighteen Years old.
So he lay there, bruised and bloodied, as weak sobs were heard from his crumpled body. I could hear the occasional apology whimper from him, that I know now wasn't directed at us... but at something far more important. But my friends and I had just... smirked. Snickered, as the assault continued. Then they waved the violence and hate off like it was just another task they were expected to perform. They yelled about gettin' pizza and snatching up some beers from a friend. And they started walkin' away. My eyes... however... were fixed on the red that stained my shoe. My name was being called by these 'friends' of mine, but I just couldn't look away...
Beating a man bloody, just for asking for help... as everyone spat on him, and never gave him any. He could've found a job. He could've lived a longer life. But we had to go on giving him a cold shoulder while spouting off even colder words. Now I could tell... somehow I could just fuckin' tell... by the way the guy was breathing... that he didn't have long. And somehow... as my friends stormed over to grab me... as this man with the dirt-covered, tear stained face, laying on the ground in front of me, looked up at me with the strangest of expressions... I realized... that I was never the offender; the criminal. With his last words, spoken in the weakened tone of a man on his deathbed, I realized... that I was the victim...
"I... forgive you."
I don't repent for my sins, but learn from them... and hopefully, the fates will forgive me... in the end...
♫ God forbid you ever had to walk a mile in her shoes... cuz then you really might know what it's like to have to choose. Then you really might know what it's like... ♫
I didn't pull the earbud from my left ear, as the uniformed woman dully told a story that she'd told hundreds of times. My iPod was on repeat, Everlast being my current kick, as her voice droned on to the mere five or six of us walkin' along behind her. My personal assistant, Jessica Brennan, listened politely, nodding every few words. Andy Wilde, my manager, didn't. In fact, Andy felt the need to yawn loudly every ten minutes. The sixth time, I nudged her in annoyance.
"Y'know, you should've stayed behind if you were sooo tired."
"I'm not tired. I'm lacking oxygen to my brain." She grinned, tapping the side of her head with a hint of humor in her voice. But I scowled at her, making Andy sigh. "What? This is boring, dude."
"Don't 'dude' me."
"Should I start saying 'madam'? Or how about, 'my Queen'? Is that closer to what you want?"
"Don't you sass me, ya damn Slovakian!"
"I AM NOT SLOVAKIAN!"
Andy's shouting made the few people that were there look over, and the tour guide of the Soudan Underground Mine in Northern Minnesota (what a mouthful), also peered over. Wilde flashed them a shit eating grin, before glancing back over at me, speaking a quieter tone. "Why're we here again?"
"Why not? Culture, Andy! It's important to-"
"You know I'm not really that interested about the culture of Minnesota... hell, I'd rather have gone to a planetarium or some shit."
"You and yer solar systems. Who cares about space? Psh."
"You will if a potential meteorite knocks into us, or maybe if aliens decide to pay us a visit!"
"Oh please, with the people on this planet... the aliens would prolly rather blow us up."
Andy lifted an eyebrow, but conceded with a laugh. My gaze then trailed from that fine specimen of a genderbent chica, over the general area. The Soudan Underground Mine was a state park, obviously home of the landmark: the Soudan Iron Mine. We'd actually been on our way to Lake Vermilion, which was just north of the mine, and was said to be absolutely gorgeous (ie: Lake of the Sunset Glow). I like pretty colors. And I'm da boss (I paid them in housing and food dammit!). Thus, that's where we'd been settin' forth to, before preparations for Breakthrough numero eight. But on the road there, the Soudan Underground Mine Tour caught my eye. A tour... underground... using mining carts? I couldn't help but be intrigued! And yet... their underground tours weren't going on right now. Yet we'd paid for the tour and wouldn't get our refund. BS, I tell you. BS!
So we were making use of MY money by getting an 'above ground' tour. It was still quite pretty, and atop certain parts of the mine, we could see bits and pieces of the lake. A rather calm day, before the inevitable training I'd have to endure to even be remotely prepared for this coming week. I prolly looked pretty tense at the moment. Then, with the adorable Brit Jessi cheerily listenin' to the tour guide, and the loud and slightly whiny Andy grumbling about how bored she was... well, we were definitely a trio to behold.
"Mining for iron in Minnesota took off in the early 1900's, having begun by use of open pit mines in the 1880's... and going underground by 1900. The Soudan Iron Mine is the state's oldest, richest and deepest iron mine..."
Andy started clicking her tongue and making random noises with her mouth, as the tour guide mumbled the information to us. After a couple minutes of this, and of me twitching in aggravation, I twirled around and snapped, "Will you SHUT UP?"
"Wha?"
"The noises yer makin' are soooo annoying!"
"Sorry, I can't help it. It's just something I do." Wilde put up her hands in defense, as I glanced back over at the tourists. All much older than us, and all with the same dazed expression as the tour guide. Narrowing my eyes, I frowned and crossed my arms.
"Maybe we should just leave and do something ANDY wants since ANDY seems bored, we should all bow down to ANDY and go do whatever SHE wishes!"
"WOW! You don't have to get an attitude!" My manager snapped, looking mildly offended that I'd gotten kinda... bitchy... with her. "Maybe you're involved in a lot of shit around your half sister and adoptive brother and all that, and I get it! But you don't have to take it out on ME! All because I'm sick of hearing someone talk in a deadpan tone while not even caring about sounding even a little bit excited about their JOB. Ah... wait."
She slowly looked over as the tour guide turned red from her words. I blinked and slowly ran a hand through my messy hair, looking down awkwardly... then jumping a mile in the air when the guide suddenly exploded. "YOU KNOW WHAT?! I DO hate my job!!!"
"Uh."
"Nice goin' Andy."
"YOU WERE SAYING SHIT TOO!"
The guide suddenly stepped up to us, jabbing a pudgy finger in our faces. "It doesn't matter! If either of you thinks you can do it better, be my GUEST! I'm DONE! I QUIT! I'll go work full time at my other job, rather than stand here and listen to you two stupid c*nts talk SHIT about me!"
"Does your other career involve the county circus, because I think you could find the perfect gig as a bearded lady." Andy commented, motioning at her own chin with a devious grin. The guide went even redder, as Jessi put a hand over her mouth.
"The HELL did you just say?! I'm a MAN! I CAN HAVE A GODDAMN BEARD!"
"Holy hell, you're a.... Dude. Your tits are bigger than Dolly Parton's BEFORE the surgery. Cut down on your sweets intake. It's either all going to your chest, or it's crushing your testicles, because your voice is higher than a chipmunk on helium. Damn."
Annnnd... that did it.
The guide swung a punch toward Andy, who casually side stepped it and caught that same arm with her right one, and then firmly pressed her left palm to the joint of the guide's shoulder. Wilde pushed, and the large er 'guy' went down to the ground. I watched, a bit impressed, as Andy kept the hold there, pulling slightly with the arm, while pushing with the palm, the guide's arm bending in a weird way.
"Y'know... if I apply enough pressure here, I could either pop your arm out of it's socket, or break it. I don't care what you say about me, or even if you swing at me. But. The fact that you're a guy makes this even worse. No man should ever call a woman a c*nt. I hate that word... and I won't allow my client and friend to be called it. Got it?"
The guide's eyes widened in fear, as we saw a rather lazy looking security guard notice what was going on. He started heading over, and Andy shot a look... a rather frightening look... at the tourists. Jessi lowered her head with a sigh, as I smirked slightly. "What's going on over here?? Sir, I'd advise letting the lady go."
"I'm a CHICK!" Andy yelled, at the same time the guide did...
"I AM A MAN!"
".....either way." He motioned for Andy to let go, which my manager obliged with a shrug. The officer then glanced over at the crowd of people, as he straightened his name-tag (saying Soudan Underground Laboratory Security). "What happened over here?"
"He started flipping out. Said some really shitty stuff to my friend here. Then he even took a swing at me!" Andy cried, looking hurt. The guard lifted an eyebrow, then looked at the people again. The tourists all nodded earnestly in agreement, as Jessi sighed again. I smirked slightly, watching as the security guard crossed his arms.
"Is that so. And what do you have to say about this?"
"I already said." The guide growled, glowering at us, then peering back over at the officer. "I quit. Now can I leave?"
"... well, the witnesses all say the same thing. We may have to take you in for harassment... uh..."
"Naw, let 'em go. We aren't pressing charges or anything. The guy's having a bad day." Andy replied, as I looked at my watch. We were behind schedule. The security guard seemed to be thinking about it, and more than two minutes passed before he finally allowed the guide to leave. He gave us all a warning, then strolled off himself... to do... who knows what.
"That was really random." I commented casually, as Andy placed her hands on her hips and huffed. However, the guests of the tour... though having been amused by the back and forth... looked a bit annoyed.
"Now what are we going to do for the next twenty minutes?" One demanded.
"My ride won't even pick me up for thirty!" Another exclaimed.
"This is YOUR fault. We came here for some kind of tour, and we expect-" One started, but was suddenly interrupted...
"The S-Soudan Iron Mine." Jessi suddenly piped up, startling even Andy and me. But the small, shy Brit lifted her chin and continued. "Active m-mining ended in about 1962... and... uhm..."
She flipped through her pamphlet awkwardly, a blush rising on her face. She scanned it for a moment, as the rest of us watched. How could we not? She was adorable as SHEEIT. "Ah! Here w-we go! Follow m-me!"
Jessi jumped a couple feet down from the part of the mines we were on, leading us to one part in particular, pointing down into a large hole of sorts. "This is one of the p-pits. See how the a-angles of the walls don't go straight d-down? It's b-because while the first m-miners believed the iron ore was on the s-surface, we found out later that th-the formation actually forms 7 fingers of ore that go d-down deep into the earth at a 78 d-degree angle."
"Ugh, math." I mumbled, and Andy smirked slightly. But Jessi ignored us and continued.
"The biggest r-reason that they stopped making p-pits like this?" She picked up a nearby rock, about the size of a baseball, and suddenly threw it into the pit. A perfect pitch. The rock hit one part of the wall, and we all watched as bits and pieces of debris began falling from the slanted walls. Eventually it stopped, and Jessi innocently reached in. Immediately Andy and I scurried forward to hold onto her so she didn't fall in. When she finally pulled herself back (with our help), my assistant smiled sheepishly and held up a rock she'd pulled out. We all stood, and the smaller chica placed it into Andy's hand.
"WHOA. This is-"
"Heavy?" Jessi asked innocently, to which Andy dumbly nodded. Brennan gestured toward the rock, smiling slightly at the tourists as she motioned for Andy to start passing it around. "This rock here c-contains ore. It's tiny, r-right? Only a c-couple of inches at best? Well imagine a p-piece the size of your head, which w-would weigh around... oh 320lbs or s-so... falling on top of miners. The c-conditions were dangerous, and were made l-less dangerous when they went underground... but even then, there w-were always accidents..."
Wilde shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, watching as Jessi led the group away, chattin' away about the history of these mines as if she'd done this a thousand times. My manager couldn't help but smile slightly, as in the few weeks that she'd known the two of us... she hadn't really seen the smaller Brit open up at all. T'was a sight to behold, that's for sure. At the same time, she then glanced over at me and paused. I'd gotten serious before. I'd gotten deep into thought. But at that moment, I'm sure I had a look that expressed... a mixture of emotions. One holding far truer than other's...
"You okay, V?"
Lifting my eyes when Andy spoke quietly, our minor argument from earlier dissolving, I shrugged a shoulder lazily. "Eh. I'm good... I mean, I've been winning, right? So I've gotta be good."
"And yet, you're not jumping for joy."
"If I jumped, you'd just stare at my boobs." I glared at Andy, who smirked.
"I'm more into asses, actually."
"...either way, no jumping from me." I crossed my arms, before staring off into the distance. "Reya's okay..."
"What?"
"Reya." I looked back over at my manager, a slight frown forming on my face. "After the B.S Seth put her through..."
"And that bitch Cera."
"I knew it was a matter of time... Cera has a habit of going after anyone I care about and either hurtin' them, or aligning with them..." I murmured, rubbing at one of my eyes. "But... honestly... I'm not really too worried about her. I'm used to her goin' to certain... lengths... to hurt Reya. But I... I don't think I can forgive Sebastian..."
"Seb... wha?"
Lowering my arm, I shook my head and turned away. "I had to follow Rayne down. They don't realize it... but even those times I walked away from them, I was on their side. I just can't leave them. Darn those two for being cute and magnetic."
"I don't think-"
I whirled around, looking frustrated. That one song was still playing on repeat, blasting in my left ear. "So what do I do, Andy? When my half sister gets attacked by my adoptive brother?"
"Didn't you already decide, when you stood up against Iser and helped Reya?"
"But..."
"And now you have a chance to get revenge on him for the bullshit he pulled against her, in a match where you could potentially win VoW's first title!"
"It's only the first round... there's two more I'd have to get through." I paused, then shook my head. "And I don't wanna get revenge!"
"Why?? After what he's done and what he's said-"
"Because I STILL CARE ABOUT HIM." I snapped, whirling around... and losing my footing. The rocks underneath my feet rolled forward, causing me to head right down... into the pit.
♫ I've seen a rich man beg, I've seen a good man sin, I've seen a tough man cry ♫
Andy jerked forward, hurriedly grabbing me under the arms right in time. I flailed slightly, as she dragged me back up, telling me to stop squirming and use my feet to gain leverage. I stared down into the deep pit, imaging each piece of rock and ore, every 200lb piece that'd occasionally fall from the ceiling... and I did as I was told, to get away from that damage. Somehow... the earbud stayed in my ear, the entire time. And the iPod never left my pocket.
♫ I've seen a loser win, and a sad man grin, I heard an honest man lie ♫
Once safely back up atop the mines, I backed away from it and put a hand to my head, whispering... "Would he have grabbed me, Andy?"
You know the answer to that.
Her breathing slightly more erratic than usual, Wilde exhaled and looked over at me tiredly. "What...?"
Stop with the dramatics, peasant... and do not lose your head.
"Maybe you're right... maybe I do need to get revenge." I finally mumbled, ignoring the Queen's urging. There was no way I'd listen to my alter ego. There was no way I could allow my other personality to be... right.
"It doesn't really seem to be your thing, huh."
"You'd be surprised what I'd do... when between a rock and a hard place. Guess you could call Seth the 'rock'... with quite a bit of ore in 'em."
"He's a lot like this pit... huh?" Andy responded slowly, putting a hand lightly to my lower back to lead me away. "Dangerous and unstable... you never know what might fall on you. Though, with him, you know his strategies, right? Because you were close-"
"Never assume. Never think you can predict something someone like Seth will throw at you. I may know a lot of what he can do... but that alone tells me... that I could very well be facing Hell itself." Still a bit shaky, I slowly started heading away from the area I'd nearly fallen into. We were both moving toward Jessi, to drag her away from these mines...
♫ I've seen the good side of bad, and the down side of up, and everything between- ♫
"I've seen many sides of Seth Iser. I've seen him gentle and kind-"
"HIM?" Andy asked incredulously, but I continued...
"I've seen him rough and... cruel."
"THAT I can believe."
"I've seen him smile. An actual smile... as though genuinely happy."
"That's a disturbing thought."
"And... I've seen him enraged. And anger so emotionally charged... that the world could have ended at his very hands."
"I repeat my last comment ten fold."
With a sardonic laugh, I ran a hand through my wild hair one last time, before letting it drop and stepping onto the road after gesturing toward my assistant. Jessi looked up, seemed to apologize to the tourists, and started over... Andy watching her for a second, then turning those dark eyes back to me. "So what...? Are you saying you're scared?"
"I'm saying... anything can happen. How's he feelin' right now? Angry? Sad? Happy? Mixed? Does it matter?" I stared toward the sun, which was slowly beginning to set. We'd get to the lake right in time... "Either way... he wants this. He wants it more than me. And when Sebastian wants something... he'll do anything to get it. I'm just... someone who stands in his way. But... I'm certainly not gonna be an easy roadblock to get around. If he wants that Xcel Championship... he's gonna have to... to..."
"Nearly kill you...?"
♫ You know it comes that way, at least that's what they say, when you play the game... ♫
"Didja have fun?" I slowly touched the earbud still in my ear, as Jessi came up with a smile on her face. She blushed slightly, nodding as she moved in closer to me. Andy threw her arms behind her head, folding them, as she gazed toward the road.
"Hm. Well... now we're on the rooad to Viridian Ciiity!"
"No. G.t.f.o, you nerd." I elbowed Wilde, who laughed and dramatically pointed a finger forward, still singing.
"We've built a team and we've been training all day long. We're on the road and getting strong~"
"I... I don't understand. Aren't w-we going to Lake V-Vermilion?" Jessi asked, as I was still trying to get the conversation from earlier out of my mind. Glancing down at my assistance, I smirked.
"Yeah, that's the joke Andy's ATTEMPTING TO-"
"I'M HILARIOUS." Andy shouted back at us, still marching forward. I responded in kind.
"NO YER NOT SHUT YER FACE!"
"NEVER! YOU HAVE TO PREPARE FOR YOUR BATTLE WITH THAT DRAGONITE!"
"Drag-... WHY IS ISER A DRAGONITE?!"
"You're a sableye, so you need to get to a higher level." Andy called back matter-of-factly, and I blinked, before my eyes widened.
"WAIT! Why the hell am I a sableye?! THOSE THINGS ARE CREEPY AS SHIT!"
".... why are you g-guys talking about p-pokeman??"
"POKEMON YOU DAMN BRIT!" I yelled, making Jessi flinch and frown at me disapprovingly. Wilde, still up ahead, just laughed... as the serious air from before just started dissipating... and we continued toward the beautiful Lake Vermilion.
But our journey wouldn't end there. I could tell, just by seeing what was ahead. Just a man, sitting on the side of the road. We weren't too far from the city, and he looked like he was taking a break from panhandling. Memories flooded back, and I avoided his eyes. Andy tossed him a granola bar from her pocket with a smile, and Jessi handed him some coins. They could do that much, as we'd continue in the lap of luxury ourselves. But me?
I still had yet to atone.
Maybe I was thinking too much, I thought, as I started walking past... still looking away. About Seth. About my career. And even about Reya. Maybe I should just do what I can, and let the pieces fall where they may. Let things move forward on their own, and don't push change. But then... how would anything ever evolve into something more... moral. Something more... worthwhile? At that thought, I stopped walking... and slowly turned around and walked over to the homeless guy...
"Hey..." I stretched a hand out to him, the older gentleman looking up at me, expressionless. Shaking my head, as though trying to shake away those mistakes I'd made... I kept my hand out. My eyes... never left his, as I awkwardly smiled... "...would you like to go watch the sunset with us?"
A simple question... if not a request... as my tone held sincerity to it. People would ask... if I was doing this out of pity. If I was doing it to look good. But... sympathy wasn't really my thing. Feeling sorry for people just didn't leave a good taste in my mouth. And... did it really seem like I cared what those stupid fans thought of me? Or anyone, for that matter? Maybe it wasn't for them. Maybe it wasn't for anyone. Maybe... all of this shit... was just selfish.
"...sure."
Was just me trying to make up for past transgressions?
"Awesome, let's go." I helped him up. I would listen to his story on the way to the lake. I would listen to him prove... how much I had, and how little others' did, just by his words alone. And... no matter what happened at the coming event against Sebastian...
Maybe... the road to Vermilion would lead me down a more righteous path...
♫ God forbid you ever had to wake up to hear the news... 'Cause then you really might know what it's like to have to lose ♫
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~This has been a V rp, thanx for reading and have a great f*cking day!~